Casa Bonita

It's been 1 year after the 50 million dollar renovation and "reopening"
>Still 500k waiting in the random lottery list to get a seat ($45 flat fee, comes with plate of slop)
>"James Beard Nominated" Mexican chef made a pretentious shit menu, food blows
>Edgier soulless death-centric aesthetics, violent/bloody puppet show
>4 separate bars in the place, displacing tables and putting them in the middle of "attractions" so you're surrounded by drunk Denverite morons gawking at shit while trying to eat your tepid overpriced slop
>Security is more hardcore than an airport, fully searched and patted down to be allowed into the indoor moronic hispanic disneyland with no rides (but you get to watch cliff divers jump into a pool!)
>bitter leftoid unionized employees angry and vengeful unless you're visibly homosexual or flamboyantly non-white
>No longer smells like an indoor pool, unique chlorine vibe lost forever
The most expensive and exclusive "member berry" of all time, when all Denver wanted was to be able to pop into their old shit hole for some cheap nostalgia.

CRIME Shirt $21.68

Ape Out Shirt $21.68

CRIME Shirt $21.68

  1. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >make an episode where the joke is that this shitty restaurant is really cool to children
    >adults sign up by the hundreds of thousands to attend
    We need some sort of social program dedicated to punching people in the face

  2. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Sounds like a cool place. I'll try it next time I'm out that way

  3. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >Security is more hardcore than an airport
    Isn't it in a somewhat shitty wok area?

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Looks like an area frequented by prostitutes but I've never been to Denver so I could be wrong.

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        You've got great hoenstincts, Anon

  4. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >chuck e cheese shuts down
    >reopens years later
    >hordes of adults swarm to it
    >shitty pizza still shitty
    >arcade games still covered in grease and snot
    >ball pit still full of piss and shit
    >play games for 3 hours to maybe afford a scented eraser from the prize shop
    >animatronics show is canceled because broken
    >guy in the suit stinks of sweat, piss and alcohol
    This will happen in the future.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Nah, see Always Sunny. They predicted how it would go with their parody episode
      >Gang goes to Chuck e stand-in for nostalgia
      >To their horror it's been sanitized and converted into a knockoff of Dave And Busters
      >Charlie and the boys find the old animatronics into the back room
      >Place decides to reopen animatronics show after the gang does a shoddy restoration job
      >Whole place burns down due to corroded, old, likely-biodegradable wiring
      >Because you must sign a waiver to enter, the establishment faces no legal repercussions from any injuries or trauma caused by the fire

  5. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    OP's still on the wait list
    I got my tickets already, haven't set a date yet, we want to take the whole extended famalam

  6. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    south park was never funny it was always the loser bully kids who liked it
    its try-hard "soft-dirty" humor I guess but still really safe and sort of just this side of right wing
    im glad to hear its shit

    anyways what's the menu?

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Do zoomers really?

  7. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Roll for your order. 8, 9, and 0 are on the waiting list.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Getting a GF with my meal sounds nice but what's GF V?

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        GF with virginity intact, dummie

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Gluten-free
        gluten-free vegan

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      this is 40$?

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Plus tip!

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Pretty sure there was a big deal made that waiters get paid $25/hr but no tips allowed for them.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Rollan

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Rollinggggg

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      wtf is a chicken mole? Is it a chicken, a mole, or some combination of both?

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        You don't know what mole is? Holy mole

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        It's like chicken fried steak, but for moles.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Taking a GF or a GF V, that's the question

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Definitely a Gf V for me. If animals were supposed to be eaten, they'd sit there and let you eat them. Though I hope that V is actually VG, because avoiding delicious nutritious cheese is just impractical.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      chile relleno god please chile relleno

  8. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    You can hate all you want but I went there back in 2005 and it was astoundingly mediocre. The food was not good, and I was not a discriminating teenager. The arcade had definitely seen better days. The cliff divers were cool and I hope they keep that element

  9. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I’m glad I got to try the place out prior to the renovation.
    Legitimately the second best chili rellenos I’ve ever had.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      They were one of two edible old menu options, those and the chicken enchiladas
      We gotta get some real Mexican into you
      It was all mass-produced pre-packaged frozen slop made for a chain restaurant somewhere in the Midwest
      The sapodillas were legit, tho

  10. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I went there once when I was about 8 or 9 back in the early 70's.
    place looked like disneyland inside
    divers jump in to small ponds.
    magic show.
    good sopapillas.
    don't remember anything else.

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *