Confess

Schizophrenic Conspiracy Theorist Shirt $21.68

Homeless People Are Sexy Shirt $21.68

Schizophrenic Conspiracy Theorist Shirt $21.68

  1. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    I started a bar tab without a credit card on file.

  2. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    I don’t cook, I just come here to shitpost

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      I got banned here for shitposting a few days ago. But to answer your question, OP, I put ketchup on a filet mignon once.

  3. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    i like pineapple pizza. i like chocolate mint. i like cream cheese sushi. i like ketchup on steak. i like sausages in fried rice.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      Yes to all.
      Also, i really do cook professionally (a la carte, not fast food) but the things I cook for myself are fricking atrocious

  4. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    i dont like peas i just force myself to eat them

  5. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    I've been making the exact same 5 meals for the last 3 months straight
    >sauteed chicken + basic seasoning blend (cajun, etc.)
    >chili (con carne and basic weeknight chili with ground beef)
    >bolognese
    >ragu alla genovese
    >shrimp etouffee

  6. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    mom cooks 80% of my food

  7. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    i was the one who shit in my dads hat not the dog

  8. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    >I bought a stanley cup due to the recent marketing

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      >I am propogating current marketing.
      Buy an ad

  9. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    I make chili and burritos from very expensive cuts of meat.

  10. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    I ate 200g of salmon in one sitting and spent the entire next day on the toilet

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      That's not even remotely alot

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      I ate half a (large) salmon once, along with sides
      I'm not even a fat frick either

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      update to this: I'm still getting up at 2 in the morning to take shits, have been both yesterday and today - never eating seafood again

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        Maybe try cooking your food before eating it Dumbass

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          it was smoked salmon

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        It was the high salt load. Keep drinking water or the osmotic action is going to keep you feeling like trash. Also get some potassium in your diet if you can and lay off salt heavy foods for awhile

  11. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    i refuse to use wine for cooking unless it's one of the main ingredients like in beouf bourgougnion

  12. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    I did a line off a hookers ass last night, she also did a line off my dick

  13. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    some fat guy did a line off my ass last night and i did a line off his dick

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      post breasts?

  14. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    I really want to make a comfy cooking youtube account but im scared people will be gross about it because im a girl, and im even more worried theyll call me fat. Im not fat, im just scared

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      Fat

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        I AM NOT FAT . it doesnt hurt me because u havent seen me… if u saw me and called me fat id want to die

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          Post fat breasts already or stfu

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            shut the frick up u boring piece of shit

            • 1 month ago
              Anonymous

              What the frick did you just fricking say about me, you little b***h? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I'm the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the frick out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fricking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fricker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're fricking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fricking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're fricking dead, kiddo.

              • 1 month ago
                Anonymous

                😮

            • 1 month ago
              Anonymous

              I really want to make a comfy cooking youtube account but im scared people will be gross about it because im a girl, and im even more worried theyll call me fat. Im not fat, im just scared

              breasts or gtfo

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            Nta but too many troons out there to trust tit pix. We need fat gash pix

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          Anon I think you should do it. You eat based stuff like rocks and sand to trick your israelite doctor, your content would be exciting and unique and I would 100% watch it. You might even be able to get a proper TV show, forget YouTube. You're one of a kind and I love you.

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            omg u remember me!?
            that doctors appointment went terribly. so did my most recent.

            • 1 month ago
              Anonymous

              I'm not even that anon and I can tell you're that dutch girl who wants to wifemaxx.

              • 1 month ago
                Anonymous

                im not dutch :p
                is it really that easy to know its me?? that makes me feel boring lol
                ill start acting more mysterious..

              • 1 month ago
                Anonymous

                eh, some euro. but omg yes ur very noticeable from the way u type lol!!!

              • 1 month ago
                Anonymous

                LOOOOOOOOL

            • 1 month ago
              Anonymous

              How could I forget, that was like the best thread this board has had in months

              • 1 month ago
                Anonymous

                well i feel like 100 bucks now!

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      Assuming this isn't just a bait post (which is a pretty big assumption) if you are that sensitive about people saying weird things about you then you should absolutely not post yourself on the Internet period. It doesn't matter how good or bad you look, people are going to say weird shit to and about you.

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        okay yeah you’re absolutely right lol. i was trying to think of some scenario where people wouldn’t say anything but they will. ( ; ω ; ) maybe ill make some videos with just my hands half covered

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      >I really want to make a comfy cooking youtube account but im scared people will be gross about it because im a girl, and im even more worried theyll call me fat. Im not fat, im just scared
      The trick is to intentionally get yourself fat and then market yourself to African-American men. Whether it's a cooking youtube account or you are simply prostituting yourself in real life, they love hideously obese and ugly girls.
      All the skinny and pretty black girls always date white dudes because black dudes don't find them sexually attractive.

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        um no . thats like REALLY gross
        i have a boyfriend. i dont care if i get views but i thought it would be fun to make one and make a little post on ck to get like 3 cooking friends

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          >i have a boyfriend. i dont care if i get views but i thought it would be fun to make one and make a little post on ck to get like 3 cooking friends
          You could get 3 cooking friends that are Black men, and then create a profile on OnlyFans, and make it a nonstop cooking/cuckoldry channel. The cooking is so the dudes will have something to eat and recharge their batteries with when they aren't doing you.
          If you don't want to do that, it's probably because you are racist. I recommend cooking foods with a high amount of protein.

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            i am racist, i do not want 3 black male friends. are men capable of talking without involving sex sex sex into everything

            • 1 month ago
              Anonymous

              >are men capable of talking without involving sex sex sex into everything
              I think mayonnaise looks like cum

              • 1 month ago
                Anonymous

                thats great man

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          Go back to /soc/ for this shit, seriously embarrassing sis

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            wut? y would i go to /soc/?? i dont want anything to do with that, thats like my whole point lol. r u moronic?

            • 1 month ago
              Anonymous

              You type like you have a mental problem.. I am embarrassed for you. You're trying to make friends, you said so yourself so go to the social board? Lmao it seems like you are the one who is genuinely moronic 🙁

              • 1 month ago
                Anonymous

                i want ck friends .. soc is for whoring yourself out idiot

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      shut the frick up u boring piece of shit

      Fat, scared, seething b***h go choke on your comfy cooking.

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        IM the one seething ok.
        stop whining you homosexual

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        Frick you hairdoo

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      (you)

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        yes

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      Gash or gtfo. Too many troons out there to trust tit pix anymore

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      Post your fat breasts or get out

  15. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    I am slowly but surely eating myself to death with unhealthy, fatty foods. I don't care at all and welcome the beetus, heart attack or whatever finally gets me.

  16. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    I prefer log cabin syrup to real maple syrup

  17. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    I put garlic in my carbonara, it tastes better and Italians can blow me

  18. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    I used to eat tomatos, cucumbers and pickles as a child but now I can't stand them, they make me feel sick.

  19. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Goyslop is my favorite food group.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      #MeToo

  20. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    My favorite pizza is pineapple and black olives. Sweet and salty.

  21. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    I like synthetic foods.
    I use crisco and soybean oil instead of lard or tallow. Margarine instead of butter. Sugar free soft drinks instead of HFCS laden soft drinks. La Choy soy sauce instead of traditionally brewed soy sauce. Monosodium glutamate and sodium chloride with iodine instead of spices. And I like to add mushrooms to my pizzas.

  22. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    I never wash chicken

  23. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    50% of my meals for the week is just drinking water with nothing else

  24. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    I think most cuisine is just optimized to give the one eating the most dopamine and a lot of it just makes you feel like shit and is actively harmful in the mid-long term. And I came to hate it. I hate when I listen to people talk about food now. How they only care about it tasting good. They recommend me this and that and its just so boring. Without any health restrictions, cooking is boring and harmful. I can make amazingly tasting food if you let me use as much butter and oil and sugar and other crazy shit. But it will wreck your body and I don't want that.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      Also I hate corporations and their shitty fricking products that people talk about it like its the best thing ever

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      I cook for my family but I hate them so I'm making incredible, delicious, gourmet shit for them in order to take 20 years off their life.

  25. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    I didn't go to church today...again

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      same and it hurts. I confess I'm still too cowardly to give up my family to be a part of the church, and that I hold resentment against them for their refusal to accept me if I engaged in religion.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      I'm anxious about joining a church, but I want to join one agian

      same and it hurts. I confess I'm still too cowardly to give up my family to be a part of the church, and that I hold resentment against them for their refusal to accept me if I engaged in religion.

      Is your family a sterotype of edgy antitheistic athiests, or what?

      https://i.imgur.com/StoJJEB.png

      I really like pilsbury cinnamon rolls, especially the buttery kind.
      I'm terrible at cooking bone-in chicken, but I don't want to stop trying.

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        >Is your family a sterotype of edgy antitheistic athiests, or what
        father's side is exactly this (one of my ancestors who came to the states in the 1800s wrote and published atheist poems and essays gleefully calling for the downfall of all religions and governments, just got worse each new generation) and my mother's side are the sorts of Protestants who believe you are literally Satan if you don't worship exactly the same way they do, typically involving giving all your paycheck to a charismatic person telling you if you tithe more you can become a prophet. My wife just hates Catholics because one bullied her as a kid and said she'd leave me if I converted.

        I'll get the courage eventually, just sucks.

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Do you spend Sunday with them all the time or what? Who cares what you do

  26. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    POST breasts, HOW THE FRICK HAS THIS NOT BEEN SAID?. FFS THIS PLACE IS A SHADOW OF ITS FORMER SELF

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      r u fricking stupid? it has been said

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      No one ever posts breasts, and when they fail to, they don't gtfo either. I gave up, anon. I can't keep posting the same ignored request for 15+ years straight. It's over. We lost.

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        they do post, theyre just usually HRbreasts
        so not breasts at all really

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          wut are HRbreasts.

          No one ever posts breasts, and when they fail to, they don't gtfo either. I gave up, anon. I can't keep posting the same ignored request for 15+ years straight. It's over. We lost.

          i saw one person post breasts and they sucked lol it just looked more like fat. i fricking hate women that would post that shit. theyre always ugly or ugly and brown

  27. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    I order McDonald's cheeseburgers with extra cheese, lettuce, and mayo

  28. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    I have nothing to confess.
    All 22 days of this year I've eaten healthy and under my calorie limit. I feel no cravings and I'm feeling very confident about achieving my weight loss goal.

  29. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    I think Garlic Aoli insists upon itself

  30. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Since I switched to instant coffee, I've only used my drip cone for filtering bacon grease.

  31. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    I prefer jarlic.

  32. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    I didn't use a cutting board till this weekend; all I did was chop my veggies on a porcelain plate and sometimes the metal below.

  33. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    I've grown to detest cooking, but it's the only thing I'm good at.
    I work as a head chef.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      I know it's hard
      All your work goes away and you never see it again, in order for it to be appreciated, it must be destroyed
      Take pictures of your food, Anon, it will let you go back in time and see your work

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        It's not about appreciation. It's the labor.
        Short days clock in at 12 hours. Long days at 16, for years.
        In the past two years my short term memory has been completely shot. I can't remember conversations I've had.
        I've wasted my twenties. I feel like an old man.
        Constantly hounded to cut down on manhours.
        No matter the amount of work done, there's always more. It's like Sisyphus.

  34. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Hotdogs are the only food that I'm making nowadays. Won't even call it cooking since I throw everything in the air fryer

  35. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    My diet is going really well but I have spent my entire weekend playing Tetris, sorting my incredulously large collection of pictures and videos of women urinating, and downloading more.

  36. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    I'm from south germany and I hate maultaschen, brezeln and leberkäs with a passion you won't believe. Also for the first 20 years of my life I couldn't eat rice because of the weird thick smell it has.

  37. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    I fed my sister cum again. She had some yogurt in the fridge with screw cap, i managed to cum twice in it in one night. I mixed it well. The next day i watched her eat the whole thing in one sitting the whole time i was small talking with her. I was never so erect in my life.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      What kind of yogurt is in a screw cap container

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        i guess he's a kraut or atleast european

  38. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Premium Italian deli meats are going to financially ruin me, I can’t stop. They have been 85% of my caloric intake for this year to date. I had a delivery of a kg of prosciutto land yesterday, I’ve eaten 3/4 of it within 24hrs.

  39. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    I eat super healthy most days, but I often fantasize about binging on pastries. It's become a perversion at this point.

  40. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    i ate her pussy last month.it was good i want it again

  41. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I shit on burger pizza but I really really want to gorge on one!

  42. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Whenever I'm too tired to cook and don't have any prepared meals, I
    >cook rice
    >microwave canned stew
    >put rice in a bowl
    >pour stew on half of the rice
    >eat raw vegetables on the side

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      That's pretty healthy for too tired to cook

  43. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I make my chilli with vegetables beans and diced tomatoes. I still have no clue why it's frowned upon to add anything beyond chilli powder and ground beef.

  44. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I have 2 different 10lb bags of rice but I'll only make rice about once a month
    I should cook rice more often but I keep buying those little new potatoes to roast

  45. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    No you

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