Currently at home with the flu and haven't shit properly since yesterday. What are some foods that make me shit?

Currently at home with the flu and haven't shit properly since yesterday. What are some foods that make me shit?

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  1. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    What sort of shit do you want? Get some of the bigger dried fruit, like dates or figs if you want faster and looser. Or pulses, legumes, fibrous food... Apples, celery or whatever else if you want to help with the push. Always found that proper coffee - i.e. ground beans always helps

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      if he has the flue fruit will come out the wrong end before it makes it to where OP wants it to come out. Also--I don't know anyone that can take coffee when they have the flu..
      >Literally shit posting

      • 2 months ago
        Anonymous

        I probably don't look after myself in the same way that you do when I'm ill. Maybe take yourself out of the cotton wool

  2. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    Chicken bone broth
    Not the stock, the bone broth
    Mix in about 1/2 TBL of of miso if you want it warm.
    If you're backed up it will make you shit like a shotgun.

  3. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    sip some pickle brine

  4. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    coffee and cigarettes, aka breakfast of champions

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      If it doesn't involve whisky and cocaine then you're fricking losing the championship

      • 2 months ago
        Anonymous

        then Im a shoe in for #1 you pussy

        • 2 months ago
          Anonymous

          I've been training hard. I've got Mickey shouting in my corner, although he's not a tangible American-Irish midget, he's imaginary

  5. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    Prunes. They're expensive these days, though.

  6. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    Phil Hartman recommends Colon Blow, or even Super Colon Blow, for those un-movable moments.

  7. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    eat cheetah diarrhea

  8. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    Coffee makes my tummy rumble

  9. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    a tablespoon of psyllium husk and drinking water regularly throughout the day.

  10. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    Coffee

  11. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    I think these threads are made by one scatman who just wants to talk about shit.

  12. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    Welp, it worked. Thanks for the tips anons. Psyllum husks and plums got some movement, but the thing that really helped was going for a walk. Was maybe half an hour in when I felt the need.

    On that note, any shit physicists ITT? I'm trying to figure out the trajectory of my movement since the results in the bowl make no sense.

    Given: My anus is a circle. It has two buttcheeks on its sides that should act as walls to any errant sprays. Any matter that passes through this should reasonably only be able to spread a maximum of 180 degrees around the bowl, but realistically it will just go straight down in the direction of gravity.

    So why is it my toilet bowl managed to have turd stains on the underside of the seat after I was done? That would mean my shit would have somehow managed to either curl midflight or start off in a 270 degree angle relative to my anus

    Is it feasible that my shit hit the bottom of the bowl so hard it bounced back upwards?

    • 2 months ago
      NIGGERFAGGOT

      i'll answer you if you cram it

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      >bounced back upwards
      This, plus, just like when you sneeze, you sometimes end up with snot on the bridge of your nose. The forward force is so great, it creates a vacuum which sucks it all backwards. Think of a black hole or quayzar: supposedly nothing can escape it, but they emit radio waves like crazy.

  13. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    Eat at a Michelin-starred restaurant.

  14. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    strong coffee

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      Who the frick drinks coffee except morons that like to stand in line at starbucks to be seen?

      • 2 months ago
        Anonymous

        starbucks is rare in my country and everyone drinks coffee, mostly homemade
        coffee is a worker drink

        • 2 months ago
          Anonymous

          Condolences, nobody except homosexuals in NY stand around in line for coffee.

  15. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    You're a disgusting homosexual, why are you posting about your shit problems on a food & cooking board?
    Take that shit to reddit where it belongs.

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