Don't you just love work potlucks?

Don't you just love work potlucks?

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  1. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >work

  2. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >sneezes violently and repeatedly in your path

  3. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    What's bottom left?

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      some kind of chicken stew not sure

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      some kind of chicken stew not sure

      sounds and looks like vietnamese chicken curry (Cà Ri Gà with coconut milk)

  4. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >brings brownies

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >they're the special kind

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        /k/ pls go

        lmao

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      /k/ pls go

  5. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Did you bill them for your time?

  6. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Since I don't have to show up to the office I never go to them

  7. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I always make pickle wraps and last time I brought a wedge of blue cheese in and this time I'm baking a 15lb turkey.
    Should I cover it in butter or a light coating of butter and rosemary

  8. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >bring a single bag of off-brand Lays potato chips
    >place them proudly on the table
    >proceed to make 2 giant heaping of plates of food + a 3rd to take home

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Ngl those chips go hard

  9. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >wrap up a to go plate to take home
    >tell boss I'm going for a smoke break and just go for a walk don't return until this bullshit is over

  10. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    toss that on real glass plates and it would look incredible

  11. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >"hey anon what can we count on you bringing for the potluck?"
    >I'm vegan
    >"oh thats.fine you can bring a vegan dish"
    >I'm not bringing a dish
    >"Anon everyone is expected to bring a dish so we can all share with eachother."
    >Then I expect everyone to make food that I can eat.
    >"You can't expect them to do that anon."
    >Well if I can't expect everyone to make something to share with me they shouldn't expect me to make something to share with them
    Not actually a vegan lol.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      I once made my goto potluck pasta dish with gluten free stuff because one of the people going was serverly allergic to it (they had a really fricked body all around, type 1 beetus and other shit too) and i just thought "damn, potlucks must fricking suck for them" so i just subbed my shit for the gluten free kind. Was weird as shit, but they loved it and i let em take it home and clean my crockpot for me.

      Caring is pretty easy, idk why more people dont do it.

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        That's very kind of you. 🙂 I wish more people were nice.

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        no fricking way a severely allergic person would trust someone to cook for them, cross contamination and little knowledge into gluten-free alternatives, the issue of gluten-free*** products and fakes as well
        coworker is either a pathological liar and hypochondriac or you just made this up

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          True. Although if the coworker is just gluten intolerant hisher sensitivity might not be as bad so some slight contamination might not really affect them much or they just took an enzyme pill to help digest just in case.

          My relative is a caeliac. His gluten intolerance has actually improved to the point that he is able to sometimes eat bread and such, no luck with lactose yet though.

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          glueten is wheat, bro. Its not that hard to not use if you know how to read.

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            You'd be surprised how many people frick it up

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous
        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          >no fricking way a severely allergic person would trust someone to cook for them
          This is a normal part of living in society. touch grass

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          I knew a grad student with a severe dairy allergy who was willing to eat my cookies which I made with non dairy butter (surprisingly tasted decent though the butter is way too expensive) when we all did a dessert potluck
          as

          >no fricking way a severely allergic person would trust someone to cook for them
          This is a normal part of living in society. touch grass

          said plenty of normal people trust you if you bother to put the effort in and mention it.

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            my roommates gf would cry she's allergic to onions but wasn't even able to tell that the thing I put in the goulash was, onions, and 5 of them at that

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          t. has listened to slop advertising their entire life and is now deathly afraid of food from co-workers
          Next you will be afraid of breathing public air. Did you know other people breathe that shit? Like in AND out? So dangerous.

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            Shut up homosexual. Ugly boomer coworkers have filthy, disgusting homes and don't wash their hands before they handle food. When they taste their sauce or whatever do you really think they are using a clean spoon and not using it again? Enjoy eating boomer spit, shit, boogers, and dog/cat hair.. all so you can eat mediocre lukewarm food.

            • 3 weeks ago
              Anonymous

              You stupid zoomers just hate social interaction

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            I have no food allergies and I can drink gallons of milk without shitting myself, I would easily stomach whatever garbage a coworker brings
            Once you learn how to cook you'll never want to taste any low effort shit from other people but rather eat fast food as it gets the point done and has sanitary regulations + exact product description (at least in the EU)

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Good for you lol I wasn't making food for those morons nor did if I have any interest in eating their slop.

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Yet you want to spend 8+hrs a day with them? Sounds like a great place to work.

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            >want
            you just blow in from stupid town?

            • 3 weeks ago
              Anonymous

              Why would you work there if you didnt want that?

              • 3 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                Because you can’t just get whatever job you want, even if you want that job really, really badly. Have you ever searched for a job before, basement incel?

              • 3 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                Theres a difference between not getting a job you want really, really bad, and working someplace with people you hate. Are you happy? You dont sound like a very happy person.

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            I don't """""want"""" to work at all are you serious? No body does but I get paid way too much for barely doing any work at all. If I like the other people that work there or not is irrelevant, I'm not going to wat your nasty ass runny potatoes. Hey Mark did you catch the game last night? Cool, hopefully your wife didn't make that terrible macaroni and cheese thing again and she did I hope you through it out your car window on the drive in.

            • 3 weeks ago
              Anonymous

              wheres your sense of community?

              • 3 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                Actually, DEI shit destroys the potluck. You can't do a potluck when everyone's diet & foodstyle is so vastly different it is impossible to have shit that other people can eat.

                Potlucks are only possible with mono-cultures or at best adjacent cultures. Add diversity to the mix and it just starts fights and no one will be happy in the end.

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        I brought falafel, hummus and tzatziki sauce to a potluck
        There was a girl who was vegan
        She brought her shitty vegan dip and vegetables to proudly share with the rest
        She wasn't expecting there to already be a vegan alternative
        Everyone fricking loved my falafel, she didn't touch it
        That's ok because nobody touched her garbage either
        She was seething so hard
        Caring makes food so much better

  12. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I've seen too many news articles about shoe lettuce and cum in the cupcakes. I'm also aware that modernity and anonymity turn people into spiteful shitheads. I'm the drinks/chips&dip guy for potlucks, and I'm always conveniently "not hungry" when it's time to eat. Thank frick I haven't had a job that does potlucks in a while. Also, thank frick no one ever pressed me beyond "oh, I'm not hungry"...didn't have more excuses lined up and I would've had to reveal my power level.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >Don't you just love work potlucks?
      Potlucks are for people who like their coworkers, and more importantly are nice to each other. Then it's up to luck if your coworkers can actually cook.

      If you don't like them, or them you, well... the luck part of a potluck comes into play FAR more often. Like this guy said:

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        I like my coworkers but I just find potlucks gross. I went over my coworkers house once after happy hour and the layer of dust on everything was insane. I almost threw up when I saw his toilet that probably hadn't been scrubbed in 3 years. At another job years ago when I was younger, I ate some lady's potato salad and there were two pieces of hair in it. Pretty sure it was cat or dog hair. Ever since those two experiences, I refuse to eat anyone's food.

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          This. People seriously underestimate how gross people are in the comfort of their home.

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Same thing happened to me with the hair. Worse was that it was a meatball, a 10 inch hair was intertwined in the entire thing.

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          This. People seriously underestimate how gross people are in the comfort of their home.

          Same thing happened to me with the hair. Worse was that it was a meatball, a 10 inch hair was intertwined in the entire thing.

          Frick, I haven't even thought of this. We have a potluck next week and now I feel grossed out. I think I'll say I'm not hungry.

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          I love cooking and am decent at it but will never share it with others because my house is a fricking pigsty. I genuinely cannot fathom how people just have clean houses, just sweeping makes me want to neck myself.

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            I get stoned and put music on. Makes it kind of a relaxing experience.

        • 2 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          why the flip would i scrub my toilet im just gonna shit in it anyway

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      I do the same. The last time I ate someone elses' cooking I ending up shitting for two days. I even partially shit my pants and had to throw out my underwear at work.
      I don't eat shit other people make at home.

  13. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    No, I’d love to cook for them, but I’m terrified I’ll frick something up and make everyone sick and forever be that poison guy.

  14. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >not working from home

    get a real job

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      spoken like a kid in his parents' basement

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      I aspire to be just like you, anon

  15. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Bold of you to assume I have a job.

  16. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >make cheesecake, grandma's secret recipe
    >the Filipinos and Cambodians absolutely destroy that shit the second I remove the lid
    >tiny Filipino lady demands the recipe
    >politely tell her I cannot do that
    >she spends the next year trying to get HR to fire me

    Damn those women could cook, though.

  17. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I love cooking for people. I bring a big slow cooker with a giant pot roast and tons of potatoes, carrots and onions. It doesn't actually cost that much or require that much effort and gets you huge social capital. Plus I get to eat something I want. I will also do a glazed ham during holidays when they are available. Also cheap and low effort and makes them think you are some sort of chef. Because they can't fricking cook.

  18. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >5 plates
    everyone calls you fat, probably to your face

  19. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    imagine the fecal matter

  20. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Only encountered this bullshit when I worked in the US, I don't know if this shit is unacceptable in all of yurop, or if I got lucky, but I always associate this shit with US wagie culture that tries to actively erode any separation of work and private life. Employers think they own you and want your job to be your identity. It's what I imagine skin walkers would come up with to emulate human social behavior. It was so fake and kinda eery.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >euro sees people trying to have camaraderie with the people they interact with 8 hours a day and starts freaking out and seething about america

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Black person, the euros in the team were actually all gregarious and would animate others to have lunch together, which the americans often refused because they just brought a nutrislop bar/ordered panda express/have instant ramen to eat alone in their office. Nobody needs corpo-mandated "merriment" to socialize. Absolutely cattlebrained.

        There are two places potlucks are a thing:
        1. Church events on the weekend
        2. Office-based companies that are trying to emulate the church-group thing and are too cheap to cater stuff

        The first is people who you willingly spend time with, and it's usually filled with dishes from grandmas who are damn good at what they do. I can't say I ever recollect going to a bad one of these.

        The latter is where shit gets funky. Because you don't really choose your coworkers, your mileage varies wildly based on who you work with. And it depends on the corporate culture there. Personally, I found that a good management group will cater an event rather than force your ass to do it (and they foot the bill). Catered events were just better. Pot lucks usually existed in places where management didn't give a frick and lower level people organized them because they were bored as frick and wanted excuses to have a social event on company time. I know my workplace does potlucks a lot because of stupid fricking laws that regulate "gifting", and food was included in that.

        Honestly, potlucks aren't that creepy. The fricking workplace wellness program where they tracked you for rewards was fricking creepy as hell. My sister and mom worked for places like that.

        I'm glad someone gets it. We had kinda shit management, very "you WILL have fun and in THIS particular way, aren't we great at managing you?". Would have loved to go to a Church event actually but I was in a coastie overpriced hell hole.
        >The fricking workplace wellness program where they tracked you for rewards was fricking creepy as hell.
        that sounds absolutely vile, yeah. And maybe I was being dramatic with calling it creepy. It is less the potluck itself that I found unsettling and more the mindset and expectations of management that were behind it. The event itself is mundane.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >europeans remind the world that they wont share food

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        trauma from being poor and hungry

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        What is tapas?
        What is fondue?
        What is a woman? (Answer: not you)

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      There are two places potlucks are a thing:
      1. Church events on the weekend
      2. Office-based companies that are trying to emulate the church-group thing and are too cheap to cater stuff

      The first is people who you willingly spend time with, and it's usually filled with dishes from grandmas who are damn good at what they do. I can't say I ever recollect going to a bad one of these.

      The latter is where shit gets funky. Because you don't really choose your coworkers, your mileage varies wildly based on who you work with. And it depends on the corporate culture there. Personally, I found that a good management group will cater an event rather than force your ass to do it (and they foot the bill). Catered events were just better. Pot lucks usually existed in places where management didn't give a frick and lower level people organized them because they were bored as frick and wanted excuses to have a social event on company time. I know my workplace does potlucks a lot because of stupid fricking laws that regulate "gifting", and food was included in that.

      Honestly, potlucks aren't that creepy. The fricking workplace wellness program where they tracked you for rewards was fricking creepy as hell. My sister and mom worked for places like that.

  21. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    NO. I do not like eating a disorderly mix of totally random dishes. NO, I don't want to try your mayo based pickle salad. NO, I don't want to try your family salsa recipe. NO, I don't want vinegary soup and a slice of cheesecake. Potlucks are guaranteed heartburn. Frick potlucks.

  22. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    no, i dislike eating my colleague's semen and cat hairs

  23. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    other people are shit at cooking and i don't want to eat what they have made

  24. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    ive never gotten sick from a potluck. i dont think theres much of a reason to be worried unless something looks very off like weird color mayo.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      It's still gross

  25. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    That second plate from the top is hilarious. Just random piles of goop and a tortilla

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      What even is it? Some kind of braised flesh?

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        shredded beef and refried beans?

  26. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Oh boy a grocery store veggie tray.

  27. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I wish I had co-workers to cook for

  28. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I hate you people. It's a fricking potlach. Pot-luck is something else entirely.

  29. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    an asian lady brought store frozen eggrolls and some other white lady said it's the best eggrolls she has eaten. >me sitting in the back rolling my eyes

  30. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Ok Google, what's the best recipe for Snickers Salad?

  31. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Literal shit on tortilla

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