"Excuse me, waiter? We're gonna need a to-go box please."

"Excuse me, waiter? We're gonna need a to-go box please."

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  1. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    haha, that's the Florida Man for you my fellow reddit enthusiast gentlesir

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous
      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Yes, Daniel Tosh is from Florida

  2. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Now, when they say "sneezed his intestines out..."

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >During breakfast, the man sneezed forcefully, followed by coughing. He immediately noticed a ‘wet’ sensation and pain in his lower abdomen. Looking down, he observed several loops of pink bowel protruding from his recent surgical site,
      I would’ve looked over and loudly declared “I’ll have what he’s having!”
      Whole place would’ve went wild.

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      It means his stitching wasn't healed up and he had a violent sneeze that ripped those stitches out and his innards popped out a bit.
      Intestines are kinda comical though, they naturally want to be in the shape they are in and are full of muscles. Just slap them back in all willy nilly and they will slide themselves where they are supposed to go after removing them for surgery.

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        >Just slap them back in all willy nilly and they will slide themselves where they are supposed to go
        that's what she said

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Lol no fricking way, is that really true? Send me a link or your medical diploma.

        • 2 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          that's pretty common knowledge, even in ww1 soldiers would just pick up their intestines and smush them back into the hole and eventually be fine

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Can you train and grow your intestine muscles?

        • 2 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Yes, just eat a handful of marbles every day.

  3. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    He prolapsed

  4. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Imagine getting to watch peristalsis of your own intestines, must be interesting

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      I would not be calm and collective.

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        ESL detected.

  5. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Sir, you forgot your :

  6. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    jesus that's beyond a hernia

  7. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Big Texas General isn't allow but this shit stays up? Worst board on this site, by far.

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Generals are gay shit for newbies.

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Can't slow down Big Tex

        • 2 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          >Frogs
          Unsurprising.

          • 2 weeks ago
            Anonymous
    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Generals are for Black folk and Texas is a shithole for latrinos which would make you a zambo

  8. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I'll have what he's having

  9. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous
  10. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Think about this the next time you eat out. That old dude at the next table could very well have a freshly stitched together butthole.

  11. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    "Excuse me miss, uhhh, check please."

  12. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I'll have what he's having!

  13. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I'll have what he's having.

  14. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >mfw i have an umbilical hernia and its been a decade

  15. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous
    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >Well hey there folks, welcome back...
      >(I guess...)
      >Today we're making a very special sausage, because it has a very special casing, donated by a viewer from Florida.
      >You might even say it was a "personal donation"...

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