Good, calorically dense beer for people who don't like to eat?

Basically I like to do drugs on the weekends and I'm not really a big eater. It's boring, it's time consuming, cooking, you have to spend MONEY on it, blah blah blah I don't really like to eat.

Now, I force myself to eat a lot during the work week to get my body to frick off, basically. However on the weekends I kind of take a "break" from eating and sort of just exist naturally and only eat when I truly, truly, TRULY want to.

But I still dislike eating. Beer has quickly become my alcohol of choice because of how calorically dense it is. If I indulge in vodka, by contrast, I always get SUPER FRICKING HUNGRY some 3 hours after ingestion. If I drink beer on the other hand, my body kind of fricks off and I can continue living my life with gay food trying to frick with me.

Is there a widely available brand/specific type of beer that will get my body to frick off the most? I don't want to be bothered by stupid ass hunger, I eat enough and spend enough money on food during the week, frick off.

tl;dr what is the most "live offable" beer? eating is fricking gay, man. i just want to throw some steaks and potatoes down my throat and then get back to living

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  1. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    plz od on heroin

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Don't do and have never done heroin. Only do percs as far as opiates/opioids are concerned (and yes, I test the SHIT out of them for fent/fentalogues)

      guinness

      thanks that what my research online lead me to as well. will be buying a case shortly

      Something dark like Theakston Old Peculier, or whatever stout you can find. Pretty much all the calories you're getting are from the ethanol, so the only difference between beers or vodka is the sensation of satiety the beer gives you.

      i'll look for this and other stouts at the store here

      Based
      Those that get pleasure from food are fat fat fatasses.

      finally someone who understands me

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      girl breakfast xD

  2. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    guinness

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Guinness is low calorie and carb as far as beer goes.

      Look for Barleywines, Trappist Quads, big Oatmeal Stouts, Baltic Porters

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        thanks ill look into it

  3. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Something dark like Theakston Old Peculier, or whatever stout you can find. Pretty much all the calories you're getting are from the ethanol, so the only difference between beers or vodka is the sensation of satiety the beer gives you.

  4. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Based
    Those that get pleasure from food are fat fat fatasses.

  5. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Can't you make your own?? I read that medieval beer was essentially fermented gruel, or a rich source of carbon that didn't spoil. Perhaps try that.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Asians do something similar except with fermented glutinous rice. Why not boil and mash up some grains, add beer yeast, then see what happens?

      i can't be doin' with this

      this level of moronation shouldn't be possible.
      but also drink some whey or milk will make you feel more satiated and need to eat less

      thanks for the idea i have milk in the fridge atm

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Just roast some oats, boil them up with extra water, blend them, then add an equal volume of particularly strong beer to it.

  6. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Asians do something similar except with fermented glutinous rice. Why not boil and mash up some grains, add beer yeast, then see what happens?

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Rice needs to be infected with a specific fungus to convert its starches into fermentable sugars. If you add yeast to a rice wort nothing will happen.

  7. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    this level of moronation shouldn't be possible.
    but also drink some whey or milk will make you feel more satiated and need to eat less

  8. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    apparently German monks would drink doppelbock for the Lenten fast

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Bingo. Oh to be a monk brewing and getting smashed on doppelbock every day.

  9. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I shouldn't be helping you with this, but German Weizen is the most filling beer there is. You really don't need to eat after drinking a Hefeweizen
    >t. German
    Also your shit is all moronic, please die

  10. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >have to spend less than $1 to eat a nice meal
    >guess I'll spend $20 on a 6pack of beer instead
    no wonder you do drugs, you're fricking moronic

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Drug usage corresponds directly with higher IQ, we have to do something to make the rest of you tolerable.

  11. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    IPA's and stouts are going to be the highest in calories typically. And when I say stout, I don't mean the bud light of stouts Guiness, I mean no less than 9% ABV, pour like motor oil, warm your heart stouts.

  12. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Hefeweizen, whatever brand you like. It's a thicc, hazy beer that when made well tastes like straight up banana bread. Stouts are nice and filling, but personally I can't drink more than two without getting sick of them.

  13. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Just drink soylent at that point, or soup. Beer makes you full for like 15 minutes and then you are hungry again, I know because I drink a lot.

  14. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Guiness is not right but it's on the right track, something like old rasputin is going to be better. They make a lot of super fricking sweet and thick porters and stouts that you can probably survive on. PS you can throw my steak and potatoes down your throat

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