Huh

The Mormons do pork and beans now.

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  1. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    Maybe it's meant to given to potential converts, I don't think there's anything mormons will not do to get a proselyte.

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      Anything?

      • 2 months ago
        Anonymous

        Yes, mormons will unironically arrange a marriage if this is what you need to convert, the same goes for a good job or money.

        • 2 months ago
          Anonymous

          What if I want to be married to multiple women far above my looks match level?

          • 2 months ago
            Anonymous

            I think even mormons have limits on how large the convert bribe can be.

        • 2 months ago
          Anonymous

          *As long as you are White

          • 2 months ago
            Anonymous

            Not really, but the convert bribe will be larger if you are white or specially a israelite.

            • 2 months ago
              Anonymous

              I was under the impression israelites and nonwhites were unwelcome. The whole point is to make white babies to use up all the souls left in the queue, so as to bring about armageddon. Everybody else is an enemy.

              • 2 months ago
                Anonymous

                >I was under the impression israelites and nonwhites were unwelcome.
                Jews are extra welcome, if you can prove you are a decendent of the tribe of Levi, you can automatically become the mormon equivalent to a priest in some mormon churches.

                And nah, mormons are only white because their region is mostly white, its like Taoist being mostly Chinese or Sikh being mostly Indians.

              • 2 months ago
                Anonymous

                Wow, they really are just Walmart brand israelites.

              • 2 months ago
                Anonymous

                Kinda, all religions tend to be very friendly to converts from religions of the same time that came become (Judaism -> christianitty -> mormon).

              • 2 months ago
                Anonymous

                >mormon equivalent to a priest
                That's just a man. All male Mormons are priests.
                >mormons are only white because their region is mostly white
                In the US, yes, but they've made a huge number of converts in South America and Africa and are making inroads in Asia, particularly Cambodia for some fricking reason

              • 2 months ago
                Anonymous

                >In the US, yes
                As expected of a +50% white country...

              • 2 months ago
                Anonymous

                >But they've made a huge number of converts in South America and Africa and are making inroads in Asia, particularly Cambodia for some fricking reason
                Mormons are famous for lying about convert and member numbers, the less developed a country, the larger the numbers will be.

              • 2 months ago
                Anonymous

                I've attended services at two Cambodian majority churches in the US, one in Philadelphia the other in Long Beach. At the Philadelphia one, an ancient Khmer lady (who made some delicious-ass Khmer version of noodle salad) sobbed hysterically as she tried to bear testimony (when Mormons all sit about and tell each other how they know the church is true; as a Quaker, it's not unlike our version except we don't generally make a big performative fuss over it) so I know that if there are at least two majority Cambodian churches on each coast of America, those Mormon Cambodians must have come from somewhere and that somewhere is presumably not Afghanistan.

                The Philippines too. They focused heavily on Oceania but many of those countries are small. The Philippines has a huge population and it's paying off for the church there.

                Yeah, I'm aware, but I've never been to a Filipino Mormon church, just the two Cambodian ones and a few others. No, I am not and never was a Mormon, I just explored various religious traditions earlier in my life, including theirs.

                Mormons are also quite well known for lying about their numbers.

                Independent and government surveys estimate 1.2% of them in the US, not 2.1%

                They're also well known for naming a diner after a literal church assassin, Porter Rockwell. You can visit Porter's Place. It's in Provo. Get the burger. It's pretty good.
                And let's not forget that the church had a literal assassin caste within their ranks called the Danites, named after Daniel of the Bible.
                The church, of course, officially disavows Danites and Porter Rockwell in particular. However, considering that the church also went out of its way to find, buy up or steal everything they could that proved connection between the first presidency (IE the head of the church AKA the prophet) and the assassin's group, to the point where they also purchased many fictitious accounts sold to them by conmen (just in case), they clearly know that the early church actively condoned murder.

              • 2 months ago
                Anonymous

                >those Mormon Cambodians must have come from somewhere and that somewhere is presumably not Afghanistan.
                have 200, claim to have 20k, nothing new.

                >hey're also well known for naming a diner after a literal church assassin, Porter Rockwell. You can visit Porter's Place. It's in Provo. Get the burger. It's pretty good.
                And let's not forget that the church had a literal assassin caste within their ranks called the Danites, named after Daniel of the Bible.
                The church, of course, officially disavows Danites and Porter Rockwell in particular. However, considering that the church also went out of its way to find, buy up or steal everything they could that proved connection between the first presidency (IE the head of the church AKA the prophet) and the assassin's group, to the point where they also purchased many fictitious accounts sold to them by conmen (just in case), they clearly know that the early church actively condoned murder.
                They are fractionary, bet some support murder, but it's far common to see mormons have issues with local laws.

              • 2 months ago
                Anonymous

                >it's far common to see mormons have issues with local laws.
                And issues with Mark Twain.

              • 2 months ago
                Anonymous

                Basically they keep breaking laws to get more converts, they get fined, the US mormons send money, I think government tolerates this because it's very profitable to keep fining them again and again.

              • 2 months ago
                Anonymous

                >they clearly know that the early church actively condoned murder

                Anyone interested in this should look up the tenet of "blood atonement" in the Mormon church

              • 2 months ago
                Anonymous

                >"blood atonement" in the Mormon church
                It, like the formerly official doctrine of banning the Lamanites (new world natives) Africans and other darkies from holding church office, is no longer valid practise in the church, I don't think. The prophet, Spencer Kimball, in 1978 received revelation from God that He no longer curses blacks and browns, that they could become full members of the church and hold office and won't become "fair and delightsome" after death. And this had absolutely nothing to do with the IRS just a few months before threatening to pull their tax exempt status over their non compliance with equal access laws.
                Like clockwork, in 2012 or so, the church disavowed its racist past, denying it ever had these rules

              • 2 months ago
                Anonymous

                Nice, it's not everyday see a prophet getting a revelation accepting blacks, right after civil right became law.

              • 2 months ago
                Anonymous

                To be fair, the Community of Christ (formerly known as the Reorganized Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints; yes, there are different sects within Mormonism) has always allowed all races to joint excepting its first few years because Joseph Smith III thought non-whites were icky and smelled bad. THEIR prophet received revelation that women are to be allowed to hold church office. That was in 1985.
                By the way, that's the main difference between Mormonism and mainstream Christianity: they believe in "continuing revelation" IE that there's some dude who is God's special friend and he tells him things to tell the church. It's the main thing all Mormon sects have in common.
                Meanwhile, the mainline LDS church declared feminism one of the greatest dangers to its continued existence.

              • 2 months ago
                Anonymous

                Since you seem to know a lot about mormons, do you know about the "temple lot" sect?

              • 2 months ago
                Anonymous

                Isn't that just the RLDS/Community of Christ? They're main temple was designed by a Japanese architect and looked like a seashell.

              • 2 months ago
                Anonymous

                Since you seem to know a lot about mormons, do you know about the "temple lot" sect?

                So I just looked it up and they're a small schism from the RLDS. No, sorry. In afraid I know nothing about them.

              • 2 months ago
                Anonymous

                I've heard stories about a mormon sect that holds a lot where a temple is supposed to be built in the future, and they keep holding it.

              • 2 months ago
                Anonymous

                yea the church does that, are you saying they think this lot is extra special?
                They are basically a real estate company.

              • 2 months ago
                Anonymous

                >are you saying they think this lot is extra special?
                I heard some stories from mormons, and they talked it's a very special lot a temple will be built, like an mormon Al-Aqsa or something, so these guys keep squatting over and demanding stuff from time to time.

              • 2 months ago
                Anonymous

                Yeah, I thought the temple lot, which I've never visited, was shared with all Mormon churches but it looks like this one sect not only has some ownership of the land but also refuses to talk to the other sects of Mormonism. Intradasting.
                I'll see if I can find some books on the subject

              • 2 months ago
                Anonymous

                >some
                SOLE. They have SOLE ownership of the labs, despite the RLDS main temple being right there, too. Weird little squatters, huh?

              • 2 months ago
                Anonymous

                >labs
                LAND!

              • 2 months ago
                Anonymous

                >some
                SOLE. They have SOLE ownership of the labs, despite the RLDS main temple being right there, too. Weird little squatters, huh?

                >labs
                LAND!

                There are all of these curious things, like baptizing death people of other faiths so they can become mormon in the afterlife.

              • 2 months ago
                Anonymous

                I just saw that Temple Lot Mormons are against that as well as eternal marriage. I've forgotten if the RLDS does baptism of the dead but the LDS absolutely does.

              • 2 months ago
                Anonymous

                LDS is the only true church. If anyone deviates they are not a part of it.

              • 2 months ago
                Anonymous

                If they are the true church, why others hold the temple lot?

              • 2 months ago
                Anonymous

                Because they are rebelling against the true church of Jesus Christ.

              • 2 months ago
                Anonymous

                Sorry, whoever hold the lot is the one true church.

              • 2 months ago
                Anonymous

                That's not how God works.

              • 2 months ago
                Anonymous

                >there are different sects within Mormonism)
                These are not real Mormons. There is only one true church.

              • 2 months ago
                Anonymous

                I bet every single sect says this.

              • 2 months ago
                Anonymous

                Joseph Smith is our first prophet, and if they deviate from the word of his successors, they are not a part of the Church. They are misguided.

              • 2 months ago
                Anonymous

                That's not how God works.

                So many interpretations and institutions, i'll stick with the holy lot

              • 2 months ago
                Anonymous

                Another major distinction between mormons and other Christians is the rejection of the holy Trinity. In addition, mormons don't use the cross generally, they prefer to "focus on the resurrection"

              • 2 months ago
                Anonymous

                >rejection of the holy Trinity
                Not at all. They, like Jehovah's Witnesses and other similar sects absolutely believe in a Trinity despite what detractors from other denominations tell you. They just don't view the Trinity in exactly the same terms as other Christians do (and JW's and Mormons don't even view the Trinity like one another), but they believe that Jesus is God, the Holy Ghost is God and the Father is God. How is that not Trinitarian?

                okay I belive you

                Awfully quick consensus for a Friend. : )

              • 2 months ago
                Anonymous

                My mother is a jack Mormon, and my father is Lutheran, the trinity discussion was always brought up whenever people asked about differences

              • 2 months ago
                Anonymous

                >theres another quaker from philly on this board
                sorry friend, but there can only be one of us

              • 2 months ago
                Anonymous

                Either you say this to me every time I mention being a Quaker or there's more than just the two of us. : )

              • 2 months ago
                Anonymous

                how do I even know you're a real quaker, hmm?

              • 2 months ago
                Anonymous

                I'll set up a committee to look into the matter.

              • 2 months ago
                Anonymous

                okay I belive you

              • 2 months ago
                Anonymous

                Bully him a bit, if he snaps and start talking about "how peaceful and good he is" then it's positive.

              • 2 months ago
                Anonymous

                The Philippines too. They focused heavily on Oceania but many of those countries are small. The Philippines has a huge population and it's paying off for the church there.

              • 2 months ago
                Anonymous

                >and it's paying off for the church there.
                Not really, mormons are only profitable in the US, in other countries they expend far more buying converts than these convert pay the church. it's a net drain.

              • 2 months ago
                Anonymous

                >Hand rubber only can understand something "paying off" in terms of shekels
                It's a church, not israeli corporation. Converting others to their belief system is success.

              • 2 months ago
                Anonymous

                It literally pays people to convert, and keep paying them to keep as members.

                Call it a church or a corporation, this is how it is in the 3rd world.

              • 2 months ago
                Anonymous

                >get paid and get free wife
                Money must be enough to cover a mortgage payment for 30 years and wife must have cute feet and not afraid to use them. Where do I sign?

                Captcha TP TRY M

              • 2 months ago
                Anonymous

                >I was under the impression israelites and nonwhites were unwelcome. The whole point is to make white babies to use up all the souls left in the queue, so as to bring about armageddon
                You're full of shit. They do missions in foreign countries (often imporvished) to try and convert them, and they often get married to women from the countries where they serve their missions then bring their families back and have kids

          • 2 months ago
            Anonymous

            The majority of Mormons are non-white. It's only in their homebase of Utah where most are white and even that's rapidly declining due to actions taken by the church to brown themselves.

      • 2 months ago
        Anonymous

        i'd rape the shit out of sister honeycutt

        • 2 months ago
          Anonymous

          Careful now, Mormon girls are forbidden from shaving....down there(if you know what I'm saying)

          • 2 months ago
            Anonymous

            That's a plus.

            Joseph Smith is our first prophet, and if they deviate from the word of his successors, they are not a part of the Church. They are misguided.

            Does the Church declare those who claim to be the successors of Joseph Smith to be false prophets like the Catholic Church did with declaring a bunch of impostures to be anti-popes?

            whats the best way to have sex with mormon girls without getting married or converting

            Just like with any other group, there are plenty of Mormon girls who want to rebel against their family and their culture with per-marital sex, especially sex with a non-Mormon being one of the top ways of doing it. If you're at all religious, keep in mind that it's usually considered a grievous sin to lead someone, especially a woman, away from God.

      • 2 months ago
        Anonymous

        Wish I could meet a hot Mormon missionary girl like her. The one who chatted me up in a museum had a thicker beard on her face than I have. Not even joking, I felt really sorry for her.

        Yes, mormons will unironically arrange a marriage if this is what you need to convert, the same goes for a good job or money.

        I am soooo converting. Do I have to cut part of my dick off?

  2. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    Are you surprised they make tinned food or by the fact its pork & beans specifically? Because

    https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/topics/welfare/missionary-opportunities/production-and-distribution?lang=eng

  3. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    I would convert just for the beans.

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous
  4. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    is you didn't know they prep?
    they are getting ready to go to war with the usg
    every household is expected to have at least a year of supplies for everyone in that household plus one person

  5. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    Food bank Mormon beads, government cheese, discount past sell by date little smokies and corn bread.

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      Looks like some good eating

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      I’d definitely eat some.

      Also what is going on with the handles on that blue pot? I’ve never seen a design like that before.

      • 2 months ago
        Anonymous

        NTA, but it looks like it's flipped upsidedown, possibly to dry after being washed. I do the same for my big pots that don't fit in the D-washer, except I put mine on a towel.

        • 2 months ago
          Anonymous

          Ah you’re right, apparently I’ve secretly converted to moronism (which unfortunately has no bean division).

  6. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    If you're a prepper, Mormons are good to know as they have the hook up and tons of knowledge on the subject.

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      Mormons are also quite well known for lying about their numbers.

      Independent and government surveys estimate 1.2% of them in the US, not 2.1%

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      >only present in third world countriea

      Interesting

  7. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    Yes, they produce a lot of food which they put in a food bank for people who need it. And they also store some for hard times.

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      Every Mormon is strongly encouraged by the church to have at least a three month supply of regular food on hand and as funds allow, build a supply of food that can be stored long term in case of an extended disruption of civil society.

      • 2 months ago
        Anonymous

        don't forget that if this were to happen, they're all required to hand it over to the church and stand in a bread line

      • 2 months ago
        Anonymous

        Based.

        don't forget that if this were to happen, they're all required to hand it over to the church and stand in a bread line

        Wrong, the church has its own supplies.

        • 2 months ago
          Anonymous

          >what is the law of consecration

          • 2 months ago
            Anonymous

            don't forget that if this were to happen, they're all required to hand it over to the church and stand in a bread line

            I've heard mormons have religious laws that allow them to lie to non-mormons, is this true?

            • 2 months ago
              Anonymous

              no, they'll just openly hate you and act nepotistic to those in the club.
              overall not the worst cult, and they're generally ok people, just know that THEY know you're not a member and will either try to talk to you about it, or leave you alone entirely

              • 2 months ago
                Anonymous

                I'm happy to farm them for fines, and they give poorgays montly gibs.

  8. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    if it ain't funeral potatoes they can kiss my ass

  9. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    i'm in utah skiing right now, frick mormons and their cursed liquor laws

  10. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    Hey anons, I'm a member of the LDS church (Mormon) and just read out the thread to my 3 also LDS friends who were over, we were cracking up at some of the posts.

    We just made a bunch of chocolate pies to test a crust recipe. (A roommate left some junk on the bottom of the oven and I had to burn that off and that let the butter melt prematurely, so the crust was eh rather than flaky like it was supposed to be, so I'll need to try again.)

    Funny to see one of these threads on Culinaly of all places - happy to answer any questions.

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      Are you an American mormon? I have experience with 3rd world mormons and I've heard it's very different.

      • 2 months ago
        Anonymous

        Yeah, I'm based out of Provo, though my family is from the east coast, originally.

        Served my mission in Chile, Viña del Mar, so I have some experience with out-of-Utah members and yeah, they're very different, in a good way. They understand the gospel better than generational, especially Utah Mormons tend to.

        • 2 months ago
          Anonymous

          Hey Provo bro.
          Do you have any restaurant recommendations for the area for authentic and good Asian food? In return I'll trade you a best mexican restaurant rec
          El Gallo Giro
          >t. Orem resident (not-LDS though)

          • 2 months ago
            Anonymous

            Yeah, I'm based out of Provo, though my family is from the east coast, originally.

            Served my mission in Chile, Viña del Mar, so I have some experience with out-of-Utah members and yeah, they're very different, in a good way. They understand the gospel better than generational, especially Utah Mormons tend to.

            Fellow LDS members, please tell me where to get good Chinese food in Utah. I'm struggling.

            • 2 months ago
              Anonymous

              Not Chinese but Happy Sumo in Orem has some pretty solid sushi.

          • 2 months ago
            Anonymous

            Thai Neighbor Cuisine is pretty dang good, and the price isn't too bad, and my friend (whose dad went to Thailand, Bangkok) said it's the best he's found since coming back.

            If you go to the Asian market here in Provo, there's a little spiralbound Thai cookbook that they sell (for like $8, kinda pricey for the production) that has shockingly correct and good recipes that I've been experimenting with, again, at the friend's dad's recommendation.

            Roommate recommends Lucky 5 in Spanish Fork, (don't know how authentic it is) and I had a good experience with T-Bone Springville's non-American offerings, especially for the price.

            [...]
            Fellow LDS members, please tell me where to get good Chinese food in Utah. I'm struggling.

            Not sure about authentic Chinese restaurants specifically, but if you ever can make it to Restaurant & Family Mart in Salt Lake, you'll have every ingredient you need to make things authentic, and there's so many Asian immigrants there that if you ask nicely and become friends with any of them, they could probably point you in the right place. There's a whole bunch of asian restaurants in the lot over (in the Chinatown Supermarket) and I'm sure one would be authentic, but I've not tried them yet.

            • 2 months ago
              Anonymous

              >Thai Neighbor Cuisine is pretty dang good
              Thanks, I'll check it out
              >If you go to the Asian market here in Provo
              I always go to the one on state street in Orem and never thought to see about any in Provo. This could open up many new possibilities so I'll be headed there this weekend
              One other rec... El Mexicano market on State street in Orem has a restaurant inside and offers insanely good and reasonably priced tamales and deli/homemade green and red salsas. It looks like a grocery store, but then you go inside and half of the building is a restaurant. Seriously, they're the best tamales I've had since my dad used to take me to the tamale shacks south of Ensenada, BC Mexico.

              • 2 months ago
                Anonymous

                The one in Orem is actually owned by the same people - the one in Provo existed first, and was popular enough that they bought the bigger place in Orem, so it should have mostly the same options but there's a few differences in availability. I go to both - Orem for more options, Provo for convenience, especially fresh garlic and ginger.

                Good recommendation for El Mexicano, I'll give it a look!

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      Sup Provo bro? I lived in Ogden for 7 years.

      • 2 months ago
        Anonymous

        Not much! Recently graduated from BYU in Game Design, my friend and I have been working on a card game for a while and that's going really well, we're aiming for a September crowdfund for production, as long as I can keep the pace with the art.

        Been getting more into cooking over baking now that I've graduated, which has been great, the quality of my meals has gotten a lot better, thankfully. Don't have the picture of the beef and broccoli I made from scratch this last week on this phone apparently, but made this Costco muffin copycake bundt cake that turned out pretty well. I share the baked goods with friends.

  11. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    You got those from the LDS food pantry. I hope you actually have a need other than trying to scheme food that's meant for struggling single mothers or homeless people.

  12. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    I've always envied the mormons I've met. They're always very friendly and fit. Are all of the fat, sugar cookie and soda mormons east of the sierra madre mountains?

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      >Are all of the fat, sugar cookie and soda mormons east of the sierra madre mountains?
      Mormon women tend to blimp out later in life, if not earlier in life. We're talking full-blown hoggers.

  13. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    PORK
    AND
    BEANS

  14. 2 months ago
    Anonymous
  15. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    whats the best way to have sex with mormon girls without getting married or converting

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      Get married AND convert!

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      Loophole is the poophole

      • 2 months ago
        Anonymous

        And the fun part is, Anon isn't joking. Catholic girls are the same. I dated one in high school who was a year ahead of me -- she promised she was looking forward to marrying me after we graduated college, then she went off to college, and then she came back telling me she'd been doing anal with some guy regularly which totally wasn't cheating, but one night he talked her into "just the tip" and then rammed it all the way in, so she was no longer a virgin, and was that a problem for still getting married?

        Anyway, considering she'd never let me do any of those things, I dumped her.

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      Rape

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      No sex, only soaking. Jumpman is optional

  16. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    How does it taste? And where'd you find it?

  17. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    Sugar and far are permitted vices that add up over the years. Plus pumping out kids tends to add on the pounds.

  18. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    That probably came from a Bishop's Storehouse, with is a $0 grocery store the church runs for poor people. They shop like at a regular grocery store but there's no payment required.

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