>just make your own bread bro, its easy dood

>just make your own bread bro, its easy dood
frick off

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  1. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    looks like a perfect homemade loaf to me

  2. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Cheap bread machine?

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      No it was a $2000 dollar machine to go along with my $5000 coffee machine

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        >Wanted to make bread
        >Bought a "bread machine"
        Sometimes I wonder why I keep coming back to Culinaly, this is why

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          >using a bread machine
          When your wife wants to be fricked, do you do it yourself or do you just throw her some batteries?

          Bread must be made and baked by hand. Using a machine is something that the fricking pod people from the Matrix would do.

          my $100 chinkshit bread machine makes perfect loaves every time, there's no way op fricked up that bad by accident

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        >using a bread machine
        When your wife wants to be fricked, do you do it yourself or do you just throw her some batteries?

        Bread must be made and baked by hand. Using a machine is something that the fricking pod people from the Matrix would do.

  3. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Thats what you get for being lazy

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      I wasn't lazy homosexual. I made my own bread. frick off back to your shithole dump with your Walmart brand salt lick white bread you fricktard hillbilly

      it looks like you just poured raw flour on a loaf of bread.

      have a nice day, you know what it is. willful ignorance. get cancer homosexual

      It is easy
      You're just an idiot.
      What the frick did you even do

      put 500g bread mix with 320ml of water in bread machine on rapid bake for 1hr and 20 minutes the result was the bottom of the load wasnt even touched
      other load was on for over 3 hrs
      it not bloody on
      thats 2 quids worth of bread mix frickin gone

      I don't know who that british guy is. Hijacking my thread

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        tryhard cringe

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        >racist and stupid
        A dangerous combination.

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        You're new, aren't you?

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        No you didn't and you are fricking lazy. Bread is literally flour, water yeast and salt are its most basi

        My Japanese bread machine takes 4 minutes to set up and makes perfect bread every time. No way I am making bread by hand. I have 3 kids, we all eat bread for breakfast. Unless you're willing to be my personal baker slave with a competitive wage of $0/hour, I will continue to use a bread machine.

        I also have kids and have had no problems making sourdough without a bread maker

  4. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    it looks like you just poured raw flour on a loaf of bread.

  5. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    It is easy
    You're just an idiot.
    What the frick did you even do

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      put 500g bread mix with 320ml of water in bread machine on rapid bake for 1hr and 20 minutes the result was the bottom of the load wasnt even touched
      other load was on for over 3 hrs
      it not bloody on
      thats 2 quids worth of bread mix frickin gone

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        Did you read the bread mix packet and see if its suitable for use with a bread machine you womble

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          yeah it morrisons white load bread mix. i followed the instructions
          noo tasty load for me tonight i guess

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          >womble
          LOLOLOL!!
          I haven't heard that for years.

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        >bread mix
        Do britbongs really?

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        >bread mix

        Anon....

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          >current year
          >put food mix into food machine
          >press "Food" button
          >bend down, put mouth around food nozzle
          >receive food into food hole on face
          >food machine beeps, FOOD FOOD FOOD FOOD
          >stand up, look in mirror
          >get toothpick, glass of water, remove unprocessed bug legs from between your teeth

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      Imagine going through all this expenditure of money and "effort" just to get these kinds of half-Assed results.
      Opie, I DON'T believe you. I think the loaf turned out ok and you sperged out either in an act, of IRL.
      I consistently turn out 2 loaves a week with less than 20 minutes worth of hands on effort.
      Granted, I've been cooking/baking probably longer than you've been alive, but I get the distinct impression that you are prone to giving up and rage-quitting after the first minor bump in the road.
      I IMPLORE you other anons, no matter your skill level, watch a good, short, demonstrative video and give it a try. (find one with a GUY doing it, IDKW, but the videos I've seen with women making it are ALWAYS fricking something up or giving SHIT info--I used to think it was intentional to keep their recipes safe from other women while giving the appearance of "Giving their recipes away", but no...90% of Women are just absolute SHIT at conveying sound information, unless it is scripted for them.)

      My method is even simpler than John's(no sugar to proof yeast, dry yeast right in the flour before hydration,) but Kirkwood is a SOLID, no nonsense cook/baker who doesn't frick around with gimmicks or shitty instructions for views.
      The whole channel is fricking gold.

  6. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    you gotta orient the bread machine towards the true north pole not the human one

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      >he doesn't turn his bread machine towards Mecca
      Absolutely haram

  7. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Always mix by hand and bake in a real ove. Bread machines are all garbage

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      My Japanese bread machine takes 4 minutes to set up and makes perfect bread every time. No way I am making bread by hand. I have 3 kids, we all eat bread for breakfast. Unless you're willing to be my personal baker slave with a competitive wage of $0/hour, I will continue to use a bread machine.

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        >My Japanese bread machine
        what a strange way to call you wife

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          Sometimes it makes weird noises but you just hit it a few times and it goes back to baking

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        What if I am willing to be your personal slave?

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        Is it the zojirushi? I can make great bread by hand and have done so very often. I don’t see a problem with making life a little easier in an effort to reduce store bought slop for my family. My house also runs cold and I don’t have space above the fridge, I basically can’t make sourdough from oct-may and even in the summer it’s iffy. I was doing all kinds of shit like bringing the dough/starter in my office and putting it back and forth in front of a heater before deciding it’s not worth it. Anyway that proof mode alone would be a godsend for when I want to make pizza or bagels.

  8. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    You dumped some flour on top of a loaf of bread and thought that was a good enough lark to start a thread with? Get some better material.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      yeah m8. packed it all at the sides and didnt spill any in the blade or anything
      took me an hour

  9. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    this is a valuable book that I think is easy to find online. might help

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      it's worthless, even if you follow the recipes it never ends like promised

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        My bread machine makes delicious bread every time. Guess you need to have graduated from at least middle school to figure it out.

  10. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    >europoors call the oven a bread machine

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      I’m not sure if (you) or OP are more moronic

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        first day on Culinaly or bot

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        2 quids worth of bread mix frickin gone
        The OP already admitted to being a bong, which means you're now going to quibble over whether britstain is a "European" or not, which to be honest, not a fricking soul in the world is going to care about.

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          Ameripoors seething
          Just learn to make bread, stupid.
          Not that hard

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            >xe needs bread mix
            >and a bread machine
            >still failed
            >"learn to make bread, stupid"
            lol

  11. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Skill problem lmaooooo

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      It's worse than that, he used a "bread machine" which means he didn't even try. We're on a level below skill issue

  12. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    maybe i'm stupid but i used a bread machine and it sucked because there was a big hole in the middle where the mixing thing goes
    are you supposed to pause the machine at some point and take it out? i thought the thing with a BM was that you could just fill it and press a button and get bread later

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      did you read the little paper book that comes with it?

  13. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    It is easy. You must just be moronic.

  14. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Just stop.
    Humans weren't designed to eat grains like some prey animal.

  15. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Baking is not cooking. It is science. Follow the recipe to the letter and use accurate measuring tools. Having said that, ancient Egyptians could do it 4000 years ago. Why can't you?

  16. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    >he can't cook bread

  17. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    >bread machine
    a oven?

  18. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    It is easy

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      the bread machine seems to be less about making bread and more about you becoming competent enough in learning why the bread isnt coming out how you like it. at some point you will just get a bread pan and find it way easier to just make it normally rather than trying to use the machine that randomly cycles between raising and kneading before cooking you a floury brick with a goo and chew and crumbly inside every single time (will make breadbread in it at some point).

      Learn the basics and start making your own bread in the oven you likely dont use enough. If you dont have an oven? then making the dough by hand and then throw it into the bread machine to rise and bake.

  19. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    OP, what the frick is a “bread machine”? Do you mean an oven or did you go out and buy some Chinese plastic trash product that promises baked bread?

  20. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Rustic

  21. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    people have been baking bread for thousands of years. How does it fell to be a worse frickup than people who believed evil spirits made them sick?

  22. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Pound of Flour
    Pound of Eggs
    Pound of Butter
    Pound of Sugar
    Leaveners are for Loosers
    Wrap it & Boil it, then leave it to hang.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      *losers
      ESL moron.

  23. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    I fricked up bread yesterday for the first time in my life after baking hundreds of breads
    Completely raw inside and I mean sticky raw dough I could pull from the loaf and knead
    This comes after fricking up a key lime pie that didn't set in the fridge
    Is there an issue with my oven?

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      >Is there an issue with my oven?
      Could easily well be.

  24. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Bread maschine cant make good bread, period

  25. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    >be moron
    >do stupid things
    >lacks IQ to for introspection
    >too moronic to understanding own faults
    >lashes out at others like a caveman
    so many cases

  26. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Can i just swap vital wheat gluten for normal flour 1:1 in any recipe?

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