I'll start:
>A restaurant where you can only eat standing
>A restaurant where there is no cutlery
>An ice cream place that sells ice cream in pitta bread
>A mexican restaurant that serves no drinks
>Every item on the menu is egg based
>A restaurant that doesn't display their menu and you have to guess what they serve to order
>BYOB pub
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 UFOs Are A Psyop Shirt $21.68 |
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Imagine a fat person sitting on the upper level lol or imagine carving a hole in the seat and taking a big duke that lands on the people below
imagine if the upper levels were made out of glass so you could look up and stare at big brappers while eating
Extra beans
imagine being the person below whilst some hot girl is taking a big duke that lands on you from above through a hole in the seat haha stinkyyy
Imagine if some autistic tard shits his pants and diarrhea drips down between the boards
Or even just loudly farting
>tfw no obese woman to fall on you from above
I came to this thread to post this so I'm really glad its fpbp
Hooters but the servers are all men.
The favourite spot of all the millenial wine aunties
Hooters, but all the servers have big butts.
Could call it "Tooters"
Hooters, but all the servers have meaty veganas and visible cameltoe
Could call it "Cooters"
Hooters, but all the servers are men with raging erections on the brink of ejaculation.
Could call it "Shooters"
Hooters, but all the servers are black
Could call it "Looters"
>Hooters, but all the servers have big butts.
>Could call it "Tooters"
>Hooters, but all the servers have meaty veganas and visible cameltoe
>Could call it "Cooters"
I would eat there
Here's your brap beer hon'
imagine the fricking smell
imagine she farts with enough force to send a wisp of beer foam to your upper lip
>she forgets to wipe
>big brown smear on the side of your glass after you take it
>forgets
I paid her extra for it
What if the glass shatters?
I've already seen 1man1jar.
Brutal
Finding out that his wife and kids were in the house is why he was so quiet is crazy
it would be extremely painful
it's a big ass
stone cold comes out and gives everyone a stunner
That violates every health standard in existence
I'd go there - no fricking doubt
unironically, how much would you tip her?
just the tip
zero because I'm not american
Yes please
Hooters, but all the servers are trans
Could call it “Nooters”
>one (You) has been deposited to your account for acts of hilarity
>Hooters, but all the servers are black
>Could call it "Looters"
kek
>>An ice cream place that sells ice cream in pitta bread
That would actually probably be alright.
Rule 34 artists beat you to that idea long ago.
There is so much fricking demand for this, why in god's name does it not exist? Seriously, the first person to open a himbo hooters will be a fricking millionaire. Play in to the inevitable wine aunt demographic, I don't give a frick, I just want it to exist.
these already exist in Japan
Yes please
Boxer's has been open in New York and New Jersey for years now.
You mean, some sort of femboy hooters?
Somehow I've managed to entirely miss this meme and good lord that lad has some hips.
There’s a gay bar restaurant in South Beach on Ocean Ave that’s basically this. It’s always packed mostly with women, I don’t even think half the servers are gay they just make a shitload of money.
Every dish is drowning in ranch sauce.
that's just wisconsin bro
>wisconsin is drenched in Ranch
idk what ur on mate lived here 26 years and I have never had ranch on my food
a place where the waiters serve the food out of their pockets
Every table has a moderately attractive waitress
The food is brought by an exclusively autistic waitstaff who has to give it to the waitress
"h-here is your- I mean th-the table's meal"
Spaghetti tumbles from their pockets while the waitress attempts to catch it.
Ah, shrimpermen
a restaurant where you cook for the cooks and they eat it.
I've always wanted a restaurant where prices are a little elevated but you get a booth with a curtain so you can go in and max out and then just lay down in the booth with a pillow or two, nap or just be on your phone in private for a bit while you digest and decide your next move
Introducing The GastroPod.
You get your own pod with table, couch and tv with some entertainment. You pay for the time and can order whatever you want through an automated delivery system connected to the kitchen, so there will be no interaction.
best idea ITT
would be great for a city with many travelers
I would love this, but aren't Internet Cafés in Japan already kinda like this? You don't get total privacy but you do get your own cell with a dividing curtain. This would be like the upscale version of that.
A restaurant where everything is blended.
Smoothie King
I'm planning a drinkable meals restaurant.
some of these already exist:
>every item is egg based
https://www.eggmania.com/menu/
>A restaurant where you can only eat standing
most old school diners/fast food places fit this
most bars
>A restaurant where there is no cutlery
wing places
most bars
>An ice cream place that sells ice cream in pitta bread
the israelites do this
Wing places will usually have other items that require cutlery though
A restaurant that does not hire servers. The kitchen is out in the front and you can electronically enter your order and watch the cooks make it in front of you. Once they finish your order, they can just put the plate on a rack that you can grab.
Frick servers.
this is how they make burger chains in the city now. ShakeShack, Five Guys...it's all like this.
There are plenty of restaurants that now offer service from cooks. An electronic/rack system would just make it shit. Just talk to the cook and they make your food, then they give it to you as you are seated nearby.
I figure incorporating some automation for the serving might help make the cooks job easier so he can focus more on the cooking.
who takes the money?
have the orders entered electronically and there is 1 single staff at the front that takes your payment on the way out
That's how it is done in smaller-scale street-food/fastfood places here. One cashier(administrator)/smart POS system operator to recieve orders, open/half-open kitchen, cooks can chat with customers and help out choose dishes, explain the contents, etc. You can pre-order via chat bot, order at the place or whatever. Payment is mostly wireless these days.
I want this desperately for the entire restaurant industry, I hate servers so fricking much.
I guess, after a certain price border you'll expected to have waiters and whatnot.
>What's a deli
It's short for delicatessen. They usually sell a variety of meats, cheeses, and salads.
>a restaurant where you can only eat standing
That's already a thing. There are restaurants in Japan that are standing only, for salarymen to scarf lunch quickly to get back to fricking work.
Wtf you stole my Egg restaurant idea. Im suing
One of those "funny" rude/insult restaurants where the waiters take light jabs at the customers but instead all the waiting staff is female and straight up verbally abuse customers with extremely personal things. When a customer starts crying they have to pay extra and the waitress gets a share, which incentivizes them to be as nasty as possible.
>One of those "funny" rude/insult restaurants where the waiters take light jabs at the customers
went to a place like this in Chicago once, it was awful, none of us understood what was going on and why people were so mean. The waiters had to explain that it was part of the gimmick. The food sucked...I still don't understand the concept. Why would anyone want to be insulted while eating? I'm guessing it's popular because of the high percentage of israeli people in Chicago, they seem like they'd like that
>Breaking character to tell you it's a gimmick
Can Americans do fricking anything right?
I would eat here every day until the waitresses go from acting disgusted at me to becoming genuinely disgusted and even nervous about me. "Why does this creep keep showing up?" they'll whisper in the back. They'll start looking over their shoulder when they leave to go home, worried that I'll attack. I wont, of course, but I'll give off the air that I'm the kind who will wait after work for them.
That way when they give me their disgusted and annoyed attitude, I'll know it's really and when I go home I'll jerk off with the force of 1000 suns thinking of their disgust at how pathetic I am.
H-haha
Not sure why this doesn't exist yet in Akiba, unless it does and I'm not aware. With the VTuber craze I thought it might be successful. Each table would have a large screen at the end with a 3D maid character. It's also a touch screen menu. Each table has it's own unique character. You can interact with the virtual maid while you wait for your food but if you touch her breasts she will call the manager on you.
What were the insults like?
Honestly, i'd really enjoy the "rude" bar, cafe, whatever if you could actually banter. Could run open mic standup thursday through sunday too.
I would go there, often
mori?
How does it look like unshopped?
>sit on upper level
>rip massive fart
hot air rises
>rips massive fart from lower level
trolled hard
yeah but the lower person would hear it like hail hitting a tin roof
Hot air might, but a fart is co2 which is more dense than air. It also cools the second it leaves your ass and then gravity kicks in dragging the stink right to your targets. Isn't nature beautiful?
Came here to post this, except I'd eat a specific diet to maximize fart density and potency. I'd demand a top booth and spend the entire day ordering small waters and ripping death bombs on the heads of everyone below me. I'd do it every day until they place goes out of business. Then I'd buy up the property and turn it into my dream restaurant where the menu changes hourly and all the food is cooked and served by ridiculously obese black nudists.
>potency
You mean pootency
>food crumbs from me at the top level falls into your hair
not my problem
>make top level out of a solid material with no holes or gaps in between
problem solved
yea you could do that but in the pic the slats are def gonna let crumbs though some times
>restaurant based around the concept of absorbing nutrients through the thinner blood vessels in the anus
>designed like a gas station, customers enter, input their order, and insert an enema pump in their butthole
>formerly chuck's
have a nice day
Jannies lost
gb2reddit
Boofers
a restaurant where they strap your arms to the chair and the waiter spoonfeeds you while cooing and making airplane noises
They say it's urgent.
Asia has definitely overcome the west. I love how they have so many options of entertainment where you won't see any other human being. It's almost impossible where I live to eat out and not having to stand other people's presence or stares. Asian autism will rule the world
>I love how they have so many options of entertainment where you won't see any other human being.
explain
Japan and probably Korea and China, have these almost totally private restaurants where even the servers are hidden from you.
You just have a booth you go into and eat from.
oh my fricking god that looks comfy
restaurant where you pay the next person's order
>A restaurant where there is no cutlery
The UK
YEW GOTTA LOISENCE FOR THAT PLATE!?
>>A restaurant where you can only eat standing
my grug friend would unironically love this. He never had a table at his apartment. Even when he had a counter and barstools he never ate at the barstools. He would never sit down and eat on his couch because he was afraid of staining his couch. So he would just stand in his kitchen and eat. Drove me insane because I prefer to sit on a comfy couch and watch kino while eating, or sit at a table, but some people genuinely prefer to stand and eat
>some people genuinely prefer to stand and eat
Cooks do
>BYOB pub
This could actually work really well if you just charged a flat cover rate and made it cool enough that people wanted to go. There's a BYOB strip club down the street from me. You pay $15 to get in, and they serve soda because it's so new they have no liquor license.
I'll just go there with a bottle of jack daniels and take pulls while ogling women and going out back to smoke. It's unironically pretty comfy. Sometimes I'll drink lime beer tallboys
>He pays to ogle prostitutes
I Google big boob 6 trillion results
Yeah that's fair but it's just pics. Sometimes it's fun to slap a girls ass and feel her grind upon your boner
>What were the insults like?
It wasn't anything too bad, but like they'd ask what you want and you'd say "Oh I want a whiskey and coke" and then they'd go, "OH, this butthole WANTS A DAMN WHISKEY AND COKE, OK YA PRICK!"
It was just stuff like that, nothing too personal, they weren't calling people fat or moronic or anything that I can tell.
I think what happened when I went there was actually there was another group of tourists with a kid and the kid started crying so that's when they broke character. None of my friends were upset really we were just extremely confused until we realized it was a gimmick
I'd go. A roast shop that roasts the food and the customer and has live-standup.
Even better if they had roast beef
>you VILL dine in ze pod
I've always thought the U.S. could really use more banquet/family dining halls, where platters are served directly to the table and shared by the whole party. You'd just have to sign a waiver agreeing not to sue the restaurant if your fellow diners get you sick.
You could even make it a chain of various culturally themed establishments:
>Southern barnhouse church table with country feast
>Midwestern oak hunting lodge featuring wild game
>Medieval castle with period-accurate game birds and sides
>Mead hall with Germanic cuisine
>Nordic langhus, seafood focus
>Indian clay furnace/firepit with tandoori and giant curry/biryani pots
>Steppe yurt with Mongolian grill
>featuring wild game
dude pretty much no one actually eats wild game
also the rest of that outside indian food sounds weird as frick. No one likes nordic food. No one knows what the frick mongolian food is. German food is relatively boring but I guess okay. That being said, Mead still hasn't caught on for some reason
We have a beer hall (not mead hall, though they do have some meads on the extensive drinks menu) with Germanic cuisine where I live. Lots of people kinda hate it, actually. Two long tables in the middle of the joint and if it's packed, you have to sit with strangers. I don't mind sitting with strangers, but friends I'd like to go out with hate it so I seldom get to go there.
I can go out to eat alone just fine, but it just seems wrong to do so at that place in particular.
>>An ice cream place that sells ice cream in pitta bread
make that fry bread, and I think you got a winner.
>Every item on the menu is egg based
You have to finish your entire plate, or you can't leave.
Why are you doing this? ;_;
>The menu is 1 item that changes every day.
>High end fare from a food truck on paper plates
>A resturaunt where everything is 25% larger than normal.
>A farmstand where a chef will prepare your selected ingredients for you
>A small grocery store with fresh ingredients and a kiosk that will blend inserted ingredients into a shake
>>A resturaunt where everything is 25% larger than normal.
that's just wisconsin bro
wisconsin is a shithole, it's just california of the midwest
It's not tho. Wisconsin ranks top for midwest states, followed by the UP of michigan, aka northern wisconsin, minnesota, illinois, then literally who for the rest of the states.
Wisconsin is the tallest midget
>wi is a shithole
>cali of the midwest
I dont even know how the second statement comes close also theres Michigan, Ohio, Illinois and Minnesota and theyre all worse
>>A small grocery store with fresh ingredients and a kiosk that will blend inserted ingredients into a shake
I've seen a couple of bigger chain supermarkets having a smoothie station at a fruit and veggies isle
Speaking of weird concepts, I've heard there are basically strip clubs in the Seattle region where they serve coffee instead of alcohol. And also that there are hooters-type coffeeshops where the baristas are all in bikinis. Can any anons confirm?
There are drive thru bikini coffee stands throughout the Seattle Metro.
Lots of states have a law that prevents you from getting a liquor license if you have full nudity, so there are places that go alcohol-free so they can have exposed veganas. I went to one, it was pretty stupid but I think I would still prefer it to a normal strip club.
WA prohibits it at a state level, but cities can have their own ordinances. Seattle "tried" to allow strip clubs to sell booze as long as they followed the "four foot rule", i.e. no lap dances, but apparently that failed to pass. Seattle is apparently one of the hardest places in the nation to open a strip club.
Ironically, Oregon has next to no strip club regulations.
A pizza place where you make your own pie
why would you eat pie if you came for 'za?
>Wanted to come to the thread to make this exact reference
>Get beaten by 5 and a half hours
Isn't it a staple MO of pizza place? Pick dough thickness, sauces, toppings, wait for your order.
a restaurant where you don't tip
Think you're fricking funny, huh
A restaurant where the food is liquified, and what we think of as drinks is solidified. Example, you get a burger smoothie which is literally just a burger in a blender with some hot sauce and salt, you eat it with a straw or spoon.
But then for the drink you just get solid ice cubes, or frozen cubes of coca cola. Basically you wash the cubes down with the burger juice
This lad wants a word with you
a restaurant where a black man stands in the center and just screams the entire time, often saying Black person and homie. He also occasionally insults the patrons and says stuff like, "AYO b***h YOU BETTER EAT DAT BURGER BEFORE YOU GET RAPED, DUMB WHITE b***h".
The element of danger from the loud Black person will titillate the patrons and arouse some of them, thus enticing them to return for reasons they can't quite explain.
also building on this, restaurants that are more heavily racially based. An asian restaurant with tatami mats, and an elderly asian man (or extremely young asian girl) who kindly asks you to remove your shoes when you enter. Then they give you a tag like a coat check as the tiny asian scurries away to store your shoes in a super cute cubby hole
A Persian restaurant where all the waitresses have extremely hairy arms and unibrows
that's just a regular persian restaurant
There used to be a Korean place near me like this.
It had the regular dining room and then the ultura derakusu Golian ekusubiliansu area, which had a few private rooms (don't remember how many) with curtained entryways. In each room was a low-to-the-ground traditional type table and very traditional-looking decor on the walls.
Nice concept, but I never did it myself. Closest I've done is a sushi lunch in a 19th century Japanese tea house with a tea ceremony done after, which is nice (except I don't much care for sushi).
The Korean place burned down years ago, along with much of the rest of that block. The new building there now houses a two-storey H-Mart.
um this is just joe's crab shack
I live in the midwest we don't have good seafood here. I swear if I was a billionaire I would make some of these restaurants just for fun.
What about a Vegan restaurant with a bunch of TVs that constantly show animals getting slaughtered. If anyone says shit just say it's to raise awareness of their plight. Vegans will go there and eat hummus and celery while they have to listen to curdling screams of lambs getting clubbed by morons
>Vegan restaurant with a bunch of TVs that constantly show animals getting slaughtered
That's just an installation art/performance
a restaurant where every dish is non-kosher
oy vey it's anudda shoah
a restaurant where you peepee and poopoo all over the place and i mean allll over really just fill up those diapies
To be honest I've heard they have some in India, but I'd like to see Milk Bars become popular. Yes of course they were first theorized in A Clockwork Orange, but they could really take off.
There's a huge push right now for non-alcoholic bar type settings. People who were alkies don't want to go to bars and be tempted to drink alcohol, but people still want to go out, drink beverages without gorging themselves on food, and engage in conversation and the like.
There's one place in St. Louis that has CBD-infused mocktails for the "sober" crowd and it seems to be a solid idea. It'd be neat to go to a place with a variety of milk based beverages
>Yes of course they were first theorized in A Clockwork Orange
I could go for some Milk Plus right now...
Sumerians have really no feeling for history. Some even believe color TV started in the 80s.
Do sumerians really?
>CBD-infused mocktails
Damn, i wish that was legal here. You're right about the non-alco bars being on the early rise. I see a demand for bartenders for the also-less bars with wienertail menues and whatnot.
a restaurant where they only serve inmate's last meals for hugely inflated prices, and it is true crime themed. maybe the waitstaff are dressed up like them? maybe that's too corny idk.
But a menu like:
>The John Wayne Gacy Bucket
>The McVeigh Milkshake
>The Victor (one unpitted olive) or the Victor Deluxe (upgrade to a charcuterie board of olives, breads, cheeses etc, served with a cute lil noose in the middle)
>The Bundy Breakfast
>The Donatin' Workman
you get the idea, have not fully fleshed it out yet but i think each one will have something "fun" like the Victor, but you gotta walk a fine line
the brower bonanza
that'd be kinda cool tbh
A restaurant where I smash your fricking head open with a large rock and stomp the remains of your brain into a pulp and then I rip out your eyeballs and swallow them whole and thats the food
I'd eat there
I'm planning to make a fully automated bar and restaurant. Only the drinks are automated. It uses a custom Wi-Fi gateway ordering system and automated drink-making and delivery system. It has a bunch of other novel shit, but not automating the food because it's pointless. It still has hot bartenders and waitresses, they just do other shit like cool fancy drinks where part of the fun is how they make it (and the time pressure is removed so they can make these drinks). Gonna patent the delivery system and some other features. It would be a sportsbar, but I'm unsure if sportsbar patrons are the ideal demographic for it though so it may change. I just like incorporating esports with sports for a complete sportsbar, and think esports and automation goes well.
>A restaurant where you can only eat standing
>A restaurant where there is no cutlery
>An ice cream place that sells ice cream in pitta bread
>A mexican restaurant that serves no drinks
>BYOB pub
ive been to many restaurants that all already do this
Nice. Sounds like you're a dumb gimmick restaurant aficionado
wanna eat where you only stand?
go to a standing bar
wanna go somewhere without cutlery?
go to a fricking bakery
want ice cream on flat bread?
get a fricking crepe
want a mexican restaurant that doesnt sell alcohol?
go to one that doesnt serve alcohol
Restaurant that only serves appetizers
>17943031
>A restaurant where you can only eat standing
Not new. Many places with very little space do this.
>A restaurant where there is no cutlery
Some cuisines that traditionally don't require it do it. But they do provide these to you if you request them. e.g.: Ethiopian restaurants
>An ice cream place that sells ice cream in pitta bread
Haven't seen it so far. But item akin to ice sandwiches are quite popular.
>Every item on the menu is egg based
I know at least one restaurant in London that does it, and one in Paris.
>A restaurant that doesn't display their menu and you have to guess what they serve to order
More common than you think. Especially in remote villages.
>Restaurant that only serves appetizers
Extremely common in Europe.
A gourmet McDonalds. Same menu but everything is made with high end premium ingredients by world class chefs
A restaurant where you're only allowed to eat if you're tired but if you fall asleep they steal your food back: You Snooze You Lose (Your Food)
oh man I love having someone blast farts directly above my head while I eat
I think you could make a killing by opening a 'cafe' that only sells iced drinks. The market for Starbucks-style iced macchiato type drinks is crazy big. You wouldn't even need to brew the coffee fresh cause who the hell can tell the difference when it's got 5 pumps of hazelnut or whatever syrup in it.
I had this idea years ago. Was gonna call it "Cool Beans! Iced Coffee Specialists."
A restaurant where they cook you any recipe you want if you send it and pay ahead of time.
I have a ton of great recipes from my grandma and I can't cook for shit.
>I have a ton of great recipes from my grandma and I can't cook for shit.
;_;
You can hire a personal chef for an evening starting at around a hundred bucks a head. Obviously it'd be a bit more as it involves developing a meal from someone else's recipes, but might make a nice family dinner party.
Git gud
a resturant where they serve sloppa everyday at 12.00, there is no servers no tables or cutlery the food will just get pumped into a long eating tray and people will have to be on their knees and eat like a pig
isn't that what flyovers normally do?
lmao, swer 2 god that'd work
We had an entirely asparagus-based menu for asparagus night last week and it was pretty good. I guess if you can do that you can also do eggs.
Fun for one night but probably gets old pretty fast.
>>A restaurant where there is no cutlery
Too late, there are already restaurants where you are supposed to lick plates.
>standing restaurant
Where do I put my wheelchair?
Our restaurant is in a historical building and we're literally not allowed to put in a ramp.
Leglets will just have to go elsewhere.
>Leglets
>leglets
Legless. Lost both in Kandahar.
There's a good concept; a restaurant where veterans have to pay extra because frick 'em.
New restaurant idea: Everybody sits in a wheelchair so you can't tell who's got a disability.
The truly nondiscriminating restaurant
But legs.
Doesn't the Heart Attack Grill already do something like that?
>A restaurant where you can only eat standing
Sort of gay, but ok
>A restaurant where there is no cutlery
Gay
>An ice cream place that sells ice cream in pitta bread
Gay
>A mexican restaurant that serves no drinks
Why?
>Every item on the menu is egg based
That's actually interesting
>A restaurant that doesn't display their menu and you have to guess what they serve to order
Gay
>BYOB pub
You must really like System of a Down
It’s called “you don’t want to eat here” and it’s the worst restaurant you’ve ever been to. The only beverage we serve is mayonnaise water. During the summer the menu is entirely piping hot soup, during the winter it’s salads topped with ice cream (mayo water ice cream.)
>mayonnaise water
So... Greek cuisine. They literally use mayonnaise in soup and call it avgolemono.
>that's not mayonnaise
Is it egg yolk?
>yes, but...
And is it beaten with lemon juice?
>yes, but...
And does it have olive oil?
>yes, but...
And mustard?
>some people add it, but...
And does it come out pale yellow and creamy?
>yes, but...
Fricking mayonnaise water soup that, bruv.
This schizo literally made an entire argument in his head and posted it. Take your meds.
>she likes mayonnaise water soup
Lmao, no I'm not Greek. Sour cream in stew is the bomb though. No one could ignore how blatantly schizo your post was.
>she thinks mayonnaise is sour cream
Tastelet, plz go and stay go.
No one said that. You're still creating conversations in your head that never happened. Please take you meds.
>talking about mayonnaise in soup
>"but sour cream in soup is good!"
>mayonnaise ain't sour cream, bro
>"no one said it was!"
lol
>He doesn't enjoy creamy chicken soup
Build-a-bear but for food.
You get a pizza, they tell you to name it and put love in it and stuff like you’re a toddler, but you’re a grown man on your lunch break. Maybe you get a little pin to put on your tie at the end so you can show your friends.
imaging brapping through the gaps on those upper benches
A restaurant that is very good at making food that the initial concept is unappealing.
>black pudding
>Rocky Mountain oysters
>a durian fruit platter (the smell alone)
>century egg ramen or other dish featuring it.
It would be a total meme experience, it wouldn’t be profitable, and making a full menu would be difficult.
An eco friendly restaurant with edible plates and cutlery
explain further
Cumstaurant
I will not explain further
>A "restaurant" where you can only eat standing
>A restaurant where there is no cutlery
That's just a food stall in india
I'm stealing this design and repurposing it for an all american bbq restaraunt called Big Duke's
oh and our motto/tagline will be "Shit Where You Eat!"
Arbys but they get their roast beef from
FROM... FROM...
A restaurant with this kind of dress code so you can enjoy a meal without shucking, jiving, lip smacking, or general chimpouts.
>NO Do-Rags, Skull Caps, or Bandanas.
>no soiled clothes
Did people regularly shit their pants before trying to enter that reataurant
I fricking love that HH violates like half of these himself.
My restaurant doesn't have a dress code. We just set the prices high enough to ensure we don't get Those People.
1. restaurant staffed by psychics and astrologists that do a reading at your table and then divine your order based on your truest desires
2. A restaurant where you aren't allowed in unless you've been fasting for a whole day, and a chef that creates foods that are light but enhanced by hunger, the most potent spice
Dwarven restaurant. Male diners 5'6" and below, female diners 5' and below get a 10% discount. Elves and orcs receive a 15% surcharge.
Ideally it would be in some sort of basement space, staffed entirely by those dwarfpill guys from Culinaly. I have a whole seasonal menu planned out, but i won't show it to anyone because goblins might steal my idea.
>dwarven restaurant
staffed by dwarves?
dwarven cuisine?
literally a physically smaller restaurant?
Dwarven cuisine, staffed by burly hairy motherfrickers (ideally short)
>Male diners 5'6" and below, female diners 5'
Neither of these fall under the legal or fantasy definition of dwarf...
I'm trying to run a business here, not debate dwarven semantics, you fricking goblin
How the hell are you going to charge "elves" more when they mostly fall into your discounted height range, huh?
when i say "elves," i mean asians
>tfw 5'2 and overly wide foor my height
my kinda restaurant
A high class meat restaurant where there is no butcher and you pay to go to the backroom and cut the exact cut you want from half a cow.
-More of a culinary experience than a restaurant, but similar I guess.
A restaurant staffed with 18 naked cowboys working really hard called RAM RANCH
Roman restaurant that serves the weird stuff like flamingo tongues. Waiters only speak Latin.
Right, give me a bag of otter's noses...
Only if you call me Loretta.
Wood fired pizza restaurant. You can pay to chop wood with an ax, and then your chopped wood makes the pizza. Advertise it to city slickers who want to boost their testosterone and impress their girlfriends.
Restaurant where the food is good and well priced
too outlandish
This but also the food is made fresh, no microwaves exist in the building, and nobody working in the restaurant tampers with your food to insert bodily fluids or hairs
Nah never.
a restaurant filled with animals
some of the animals are monkey waiters
feeding the animals with your meal is encouraged
also the usual condiment bottle area on the tables has a bottle of peanut butter :^)
i know this one, it's the prison canteen!
Ive had a few ideas
>a place that serves meal trays bought from actual airlines and the menu would be organized by whatever airlines food we had ready that day and would also feature snippets of the menu cards.
>a place that makes Christmas food all year: turkey, stuffing, potatoes, gravy, yams, sprouts, cranberry, etc
>a place that makes very cheap and basic sandwiches like the ones your mom probably made you for school (ham&cheese, tuna, turkey&mayo, eggsalad, pbj, nutella, cucumber, etc) could just keep making the sandwiches all day since the cheap price would keep people moving through the place. take out only btw!
Ham is Christmas, not Turkey.
ok frick it, the place now makes thanks giving food.
>>a place that makes Christmas food all year: turkey, stuffing, potatoes, gravy, yams, sprouts, cranberry, etc
Most diners offer a turkey dinner plate like this any night of the year, at least the ones I've been to.
Im from Canada where we havent quite mastered the American style diner
I envisioned something like a food court Chinese restaurant where most of the food is ready to go and served in a box and you order and pay based on how many meats or sides you want.
I'm from Vancouver and I could list half a dozen places off the top of my head with turkey dinner plates, not including chain restaurants. Diners are ubiquitous in Canada, get out a little.
Might be a West coast thing, Im from Toronto and I notice that Vancouver and Montreal have some characteristics (like American style diners) and chains from the USA which we dont have or are just not popular here.
Vancouver's a lot closer to the border than Toronto so maybe thats a factor.
Oops, forgot to cite your post number.
>Christmas food all year: turkey, stuffing, potatoes, gravy, yams, sprouts, cranberry, etc
That existed at one time in Philadelphia. It was called Bassett's. They closed. idk when.
OG location still open. Satellite locations are closed.
They still run another place a couple blocks away called The Original Turkey. Same stuff.
Indian food but with mandatory urethral sounding every time you order a lassi.
>Im from Toronto
My condolences.
I still think that's kind of weird. Small family-owned restaurants offering homestyle meals pop up everywhere and become mainstays of their communities. I grew up in North Vancouver, and the same dingy old Tomahawk diner has been here for nearly 100 years. The Smile Diner downtown got memeflu'd out of existence, but I think most of the other places around town like Bon's and Helen's are still open. I've been around Ontario for work, though I've never gone looking for smaller restaurants, but I find it hard to believe they just don't exist. I mean, a hellhole is a hellhole, but even Vancouver has a few comfy places left.
The diner thing is not as big in Toronto, im telling you Vancouver feels really American compared to Toronto. Even the car culture out West feels very American.
>car culture
Oh, jeez, you're one of THOSE Torontonians. Yep, sure. I feel more in touch with someone from Washington than you, but I also feel closer to someone from Sault Ste Marie.
im talking about like collectable, vintage, and exotic cars not "hurrr moar bike lanes and free transit!!!"
west coasters in general like flamboyant cars imo.
*car enthusiast culture
A restaurant where you eat my shit while I go poopoo
>>A restaurant where there is no cutlery
that does medieval cuisine served in bread trencher
Saloop. That's it, just saloop. Nobody sells saloop in the USA.
On that same note, there's no dondurma shop in 'murca either. I bet it could catch on like gelato.
Is that the Turkish ice cream where you get bullied by the seller when you just want to get some fricking ice cream?
restaurant where fat people pay double price
What if fart.
Buttchug Bar
A restaurant that smells like farts because all waitresses are bbw braphogs who only eat garlic and broccoli and stuff that make u shit ur panties
This place
>at restaurants
most fat people get fat at home
Great idea. Now for fat girls to get a normal portion they'll have to date skinny guys and steal their plates. Give me the BBWs.
>a restaurant where you can get a discount on your bill by washing your own dishes and cleaning your table
A whites-only restaurant
>A whites-only restaurant
you could do this, just make a restaurant that only white people would want to eat at. It's easier than you think. You can either make it "white themed" (all servers are named Harold or Doyle), white picket fence around the restaurant. All servers wear polo shirts tucked in to khaki shorts and sandals with socks.
Basically it would be 1950s cuisine themed. Burgers and hotdogs. Casseroles on the menu. Mayonaisse galore. Shit that could be the name, Mayonnaise Galore. Dr. Thunder on tap for the frugal customer. Macaroni salad, deviled eggs. Aspics. Basically it would be like Jack Rabbit Slim's in Pulp Fiction but lame.
The other option is just to make an explicitly racist restaurant. Call it McBlack folk and paint a big confederate flag on the side. The slogan could be "We do things a little different round here" and the different thing that they do is hate Black folk. You could have menu items like Black personToes, brazil nuts. You could call a chocolate ice cream cone a Black persontop. Mashed Potatoes and Gravy could be called Puree of White with Black Sauce. The opportunities are endless. Most non-whites would be too disgusted to eat there. I don't think this would be illegal
>The slogan could be "We do things a little different round here" and the different thing that they do is hate Black folk.
kek
>I don't think this would be illegal
>TFW I'm Canadian and just commenting on your comment is going to get me send to the gulags.
quality post friend, have a (you)
>The slogan could be "We do things a little different round here" and the different thing that they do is hate Black folk.
that's hilarious
Low carb restaurant
>>A mexican restaurant that serves no drinks
A gastropub that the waiter kisses you on the lips.
No lips get your procurement half off.
>>A restaurant where you can only eat standing
>>A restaurant where there is no cutlery
Pig Tröf
A restaurant will you bring your own food and cook it
>A restaurant will you bring your own food and cook it
There are such establishments in central Asia, called chaihana. They serve you only tea and give you common kitchen to cook products you bring. Traditional chaihanas somewhat faded away nowadays though, turning to just restaurants.
A restaurant tha
Candlejack can't run a restau
The problem with ordering from Candlejack's is th
Was the overpriced food served at those hipster gastropubs that have since shut-down for being overpriced actually good?
Listening to the blues drinking and grilling, what you boys up to?
Not your blog. Not your chatroom.
get the frick out of here
I'm fapping
Making good food instead of relying on shitty gimmicks.
>Every item on the menu is egg based
YOU HAVE TO EAT ALL THE EGGS
Only serve food people hate like
>olives
>fruitcake
>stuff with onions in it
>pickles
>mustard
Etc.
is there any restaurant thats just a giant bonfire in the center and everyone just encircles it and shares the animals you throw into it?
Every single one of these exists.
the restaurant with no menu also has no prices, the chef accepts whatever you think the meal was worth.
The Combat Cafe. If you wish to not leave a tip you have the option to challenge your waiter to physical combat. If you have a complaint about the food you have the option to fight one of the cooks and receive your meal for free. Staffed exclusively by burly dudes.
A buffet where you weigh in before entering and you’re charged based on your weight.
They tried this in China and people there had fits about it on social media, comparing it to austerity laws and complaining the restaurant was implying the nation was poor.
Do you mean this kinda thing?
I think it had an actual weighing scale and applied a surcharge, not a discount. It was controversial at the time because the government was actually looking into austerity laws to discourage wasting food and people got really offended by the suggestion that the country might not be doing so well.
>the government was actually looking into austerity laws to discourage wasting food and people got really offended by the suggestion that the country might not be doing so well.
ahahaha holy shit and people actually think China is a threat.
Eugenia Cooney eats for free here.
An Islamic themed restaurant where all the male customers are treated as honored Sheiks who have just come in from a long desert journey (lots of kowtowing and virtue signalling from the waiters) and all the female customers are ignored and forced to wear burkas.
expanding on this
>the waiter is also dressed as a sheik, he takes the orders for his "honored guest" and makes burka'd women actually carry it out, who he talks to in a very stern manner and blames for any mistakes he makes
>if a woman tries to order he will politely explain to the man that it would be improper for him to communicate with his wives (you order for the women in your party)
>if a woman simply refuses to cover up, it's part of the act that the waiters give her dirty/lustful looks and refer to her as a foreign concubine
>if your party is only women, one of them will be given a fake beard, an afghan hat, and a plastic ak47 so they can act as a man
>alcohol will be served but discretely, the drink menu will have a Haram Section with the tagline "only Allah is perfect"
A restaurant where the tables are shaped like different countries and you get menus specific to whatever country table you are sent to.
Restaurant that's never open. It has countless 5 star reviews and paid influencer endorsements. You can see people in uniform moving around inside, and there is a greeter at the door, but when you ask about your booking the host unfortunately tells you your booking had to be cancelled. There are hotdogs and pretzels available in the car park.
I'm pretty sure some Brit magazine did that as a stunt.
I've been saying for years to anyone who will listen that a bar that's a petting zoo would be dynamite. Hay on the floor, chickens, lamas, goats. Maybe even have trained monkey waiters.
That'd be great, but you know it'd be ruined by drunk buttholes messing with the animals.
*BRAAAAAPPPP*
I would do a take on the cereal bars. But I would do a canned meals store. You could have a can of spaghettios with meatballs. Or a can of Denison's chili. If you want. That's it. Just cans of food. The food would be heated separately of course. Then it would be put back in the can. With a plastic spoon.
A restaurant where you have to kill your food
Call it The Charnel House