>post apocalypse. >take refuge in Vienna Sausage factory. >unlimited Vienna Sausages

>post apocalypse
>take refuge in Vienna Sausage factory
>unlimited Vienna Sausages
>warlord knocks on your door one day
>says you have to prepare him a feast or he will kill you
>all you have is vienna sausages
what do you make?

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  1. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    a break for it

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      good one

  2. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >warlord knocks on my bait door
    >attempting to force it open triggers booby trapped knee-height claymore daisy chained to a quarter mile radius of buried explosives in key overwatch positions, effectively wiping out his army and mobility in one swoop
    >tourniquet and cauterize his wounds
    >I now have a mountain of viennas and a rape toy

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >tourniquet and cauterize his wounds
      I know this is a shitpost, but cauterization does not work the way most people think. If you try to cauterize the entire wound on an amputated limb you're just going to do more harm than good. You've basically taken a wound with healthy living tissue that can heal, and turned it into burnt dead tissue that will rot and get infected even more easily. Cauterization is really only used to stop bleeding.

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        There’s going to be more damage to him than a mere double amputation, hence the cauterization.

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Fair enough. Just felt like having a 'tism moment since most people think cauterization is just magic that heals wounds instantly.

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            It's a quick alternative to stitches. If you're going to have a scar anyway, you might as well grab a torch and a knife or piece of rebar, and save four hours in a waiting room.

            • 4 weeks ago
              Anonymous

              One of the benefits of being a poor American is you learn to fix yourself up

              • 4 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                I'm a poor Canadian. The plus side is that the stitches would be free, but constantly being bumped to the bottom of the triage list means that it's going to be a full day in the waiting room. I've gotten pretty handy with the Krazy Glue, but there are definitely a few small holes that I've just tagged shut with an olfa knife blade.

              • 4 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                why come the stitches ain't free?

              • 4 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                What? Reread that second sentence. They're free, it just takes forever to see a nurse to do the job.

              • 4 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                Mr. Sanders, why come the shoes ain't free?

              • 4 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                Because the chickens kept taking them to cross the road.

              • 4 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                >Canadian
                >going to be a full day in the waiting room
                that's very optimistic

  3. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Feed him poisoned Vienna Sausages and hide in the forest for 5 days

  4. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    A catapult. If I'm dying, I'm putting a can through his teeth before I do.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >Railgun that fires cans of vienna sausages

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        If I had the technology. Shit yeah!
        >EAT WIENER, SHITc**tS!

  5. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Mashied vienna weenies seasoned to taste like eggs. Add chopped weenies into it like a traditional tex-mex dish. Slice some wennies in a spiral shape and create a vienna chicken noodle soup. Form some vienna patties and sear them on a pan or grill. Flame broil a few weenies on the side if he's still hungry.

  6. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Chili

  7. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I take the cans and make armor for the delivery truck that's gassed up and head off to the deviled ham factory where the good shits at

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