You've completely missed the point of the posts you're quoting you moronic britcuck, nobody is losing their shit over bread and cheese. It's the fact that you morons still eat bread and cheese like you're fricking peasants working the land for some lord instead of just eating a sandwich like the rest of the civilized world.
aNd WheRe in the ciVIlIZED WORLd oriGinated sAiD SAndWiCH?
Yeah it was the UK, congratulations took you smooth brains hundreds of years to decide to put some vegetables and some meat between some bread and call it a "dish". It was birthed out of gambling addiction and laziness
>bongs spend 30 years bashing americans for their love of bread and dairy >immediately start accusing americans of being idiots who don’t understand the joys of bread and dairy, when americans point out bongs have the same predilection for them
Why do yurotrash always argue like women? Catty, passive-aggressive, non-committal, and constantly moving goalposts. Is it the lack of testosterone? Or is it a culture of being so terrified their Lord or Duke would whip them for speaking out of turn that they developed a habit of making vague insults with enough plausible deniability that they won’t be punished for mouthing off.
I wouldn't accuse anyone of being effeminate if I was going to launch into a paragraph of screaming on the verge of tears at my own persecution complex, but also I wouldn't embarrass myself like this in the first place
>Don't you dare eat those normal whole foods that anyone can grow in their own garden or make from basic ingredients. You're a larper! >You have to eat mass produced highly processed foods grown and made far from where you live. >Don't eat food I find weird. Pay a corporation to make food for you.
if English food hasn't developed since the 1200s, me explaining it on Culinaly likely would do nothing but make you seethe, cope, double down, and just make you look more stupid than you already do.
Just know the world is eternally laffin at English food
J Sheekey fish pie recipe
250ml fish stock (a good-quality cube will do)
50ml white wine
125g boneless cod or haddock fillet, skinned and cut into rough 3cm chunks
125g boneless salmon fillet, skinned and cut into rough 3cm chunks
1 tbs chopped parsley
for the sauce:
25g butter
25g flour
90ml double cream
1 tsp English mustard
1 tsp Worcestershire sauce
½ tsp anchovy essence
salt and freshly ground black pepper
for the topping:
20-30g butter
500g floury potatoes, peeled, cooked and mashed
salt and freshly ground white pepper
1 tbs milk
15g fresh white breadcrumbs
10g grated Parmesan
J Sheekey is the most famous traditional fish restaurant in the UK.
Do bongs really go to the butcher and be like > As-Salamu-Alaykum, Mate. I’ll have three hundred and seventy one grams of cod, uhhhhhhhh two hundred thirty eight grams of Salmon, and a tv license, for takeaway ol’ chap >right, thank you very much, mate. Allahu-Akbar to you as well.
Lol
Lmao
Probably meant so impoverished bongs lose sight of just how much more expensive everything gets >Out of respect for our customers, we don't raise prices! >Now 3oz instead of 100g!
>Ancients smart >Early modern people dumb
What did he mean by this.
I've yet to see a mathematician in favour of the imperial system btw. Maybe some of them would be in favour of a true duodezimal system, but the mishmash of the imperial system is just moronic.
2 years ago
Anonymous
Yes. Greco-Romans built the west, ~~*revolutionary French*~~ ideals destroyed it.
2 years ago
Anonymous
>~~*revolutionary French*~~ ideals destroyed it.
Fricking this.
2 years ago
Anonymous
>I've yet to see a mathematician in favour of the imperial system btw
Cool now talk to some tradesmen.
2 years ago
Anonymous
Why would I talk to blue collar bottom of the barrel morons?
2 years ago
Anonymous
They won’t argue in favour of the imperial system specifically. But if you ask them whether base 12/16 or base 10 is better as an actual tool for calculation, most of them will say base 12 or 16. If you asked them to design the most functional counting system they could possibly think of, most of them would settle on either binary (which base 16 is derived from), or base 60 (which base 12 is derived from).
Haven’t you ever wondered why there are 24 hours in a day and 60 minutes in an hour?
2 years ago
Anonymous
That's exactly what I said dipshit.
2 years ago
Anonymous
You were implying that they wouldn’t support the imperial system because it would, in their eyes, be ‘inferior’. Although I agree that they wouldn’t support it, I reckon it would be for purely cultural reasons. Scientists and other academic objectivists have a habit of dismissing out-of-hand anything old as automatically being “inferior” to something newer. It’s highly likely they would say the imperial system is bad simply because “it is old and predates modern science, therefore it is worthless”. Nobody is completely unbiased.
2 years ago
Anonymous
There’s 24 hours in a day because eygptians split their days based on the number of decans in the sky not because “it’s the most logical way of counting”
2 years ago
Anonymous
I don't know what a decan is but I like 12 better as an important number because it factors by 1, 2, 3, 4, 6, and 12 rather than 10 which only has 1, 2, 5, and 10.
This was also a thing when they switched to metric in Canada. Originally, you were 9nly supposed to be charged by the kg but retailers thought that it would make everything look more expensive so they petitioned to he able to charge per 100g and so forth
Brits and Dutch are cavemen when it comes to good food. They know nothing about it nor do they care for a fraction of a second. They love advertising and selling their garbage and pretend it's phenomenal.
Americans think this is hilarious because they're the product of Brit+Dutch cuisine and far worse.
Continental Europeans are in stitches because Brits and Dutch are completely oblivious to the handful of quality food and drink products in their respective countries (fish, fruit, wild plants).
As a bong, living in the Netherlands, this is absolutely right, except for one point.
'Continental Europe' is just as bad. Mediterranean Europe is where the good food is. Poland, Germany, and Austria are just as fricking shit as the UK or NL at making the best of local ingredients.
Also, whilst the Ploughman's can't be called a 'dish', as it is a loosely defined collection of parts, it tends to focus on what the UK does well. Cheese, bread, pickles, local fruit, ale. People that call cheese bland come from countries with bad cheese.
idk about cuisine but clotted cream is fricking good and isn't in america for some reason
i don't recall anything else good i had there that isn't here
You will never have dental care. You have no floss, you have no toothpaste, you have no mouthwash. You are an unhygenic man twisted by tea and crumpets into a crude mockery of nature’s perfection.
All the “tally-ho’s” you get are two-faced and half-hearted. Behind your back people mock you. Your lads are disgusted and ashamed of you, your “mates” laugh at your ghoulish smile behind closed doors.
Dentists are utterly repulsed by you. Thousands of years of medical science have allowed doctors to clean teeth with incredible efficiency. Even Englishmen who “brush their teeth” look uncanny and unnatural to a dentist. Your rotting gums are a dead giveaway. And even if you manage to make an appointment with a dentist, he’ll turn tail and bolt the second he gets a whiff of your diseased, infected maw.
You will never be able to chew solid food. You wrench out a few meager strokes of the toothbrush at the top of the morning and tell yourself it’s going to be ok, but deep inside you feel the halitosis creeping up like a weed, ready to crush you under the unbearable weight.
Eventually it’ll be too much to bear - you’ll buy a rope, tie a noose, put it around your neck, buy a suicide license, and plunge into the cold abyss. Your queen will find you, heartbroken but relieved that she no longer has to live with the unbearable stench. They’ll bury you without your dentures, and every passerby for the rest of eternity will know an Englishman is buried there. Your remaining teeth will decay and go back to the dust, and all that will remain of your toiletries is a toothbrush that was never opened.
>weetabix
MFW when I mentioned that I've noticed someones been stealing my weetabix at the office and the fat girl came over to me later and said "I know you think it was me but it wasnt"
I smiled and told her that I didn't, but secretly I knew it was her, the person beside me knew it was her, the whole office knew it was her.
"ploughman's lunch" aka sliced bread and whatever spreads and raw vegetables I have in my fridge is what you eat when you're depressed, tired, angry or all of the above. It absolutely does not replace an actual cooked meal and will quickly lead to overeating. Someone explain why the Brits see something that's by all accounts student poverty food that every western culture has, but hides in shame, as some sort of culinary achievement? >bubuh muh traditional hearty no-nonsense bland slop
Your traditions are shit. Believe it or not Bonglandia is not the only country with a tradition of working class peasant foods. Over here a ploughman's lunch is boiled potatoes and green beans dressed with crackling and sour cream. Beats literal bread, butter and raw onions any day.
>some sort of culinary achievement?
No Englishman calls a ploughman's lunch (bread, English cheese, pickle) as a 'culinary achievement', because its basic sustainance for working in the fields all day and we are not queer dickheads who get their pubes in a twist over 'muh presentation, muh spicerinos, muh food culture'. That is why every poor seething loser on this board constantly screeches about us.
>boiling potatoes and beans is too lengthy for the average Anglo
ADHD zoomer race. Forever eating like a 12yo left alone in the house for the first time.
>because....they just ARE, ok?!
Imperial would be based if the conversion between units was uniform (so always the same multiplier to go up or down one order of magnitude) and you guys committed to then using that multiplier as the base for your number system. Until then it's just a halfway cucked compromise.
>The entire point is to have a variety of different factors so things can be evenly broken down
Interesting, I haven't thought about that nor has anyone ever made that argument to me before. I guess it's nice to be able to handle whole numbers rather than fractions. But my number system argument stands.
Time to commit to base12, frick it.
You’re approaching imperial from a metric mindset. Imperial was created before calculators really existed (abacii not withstanding), so it’s focused around easy-to-understand fractions that can be calculated mentally. Most everything is built around the concept of splitting things in half. ½, which splits into ¼, which splits into ⅛, which splits into one-sixteenth; into one-thirtysecondth; into one-sixtyfourth, and so on. By doing this, even a completely illiterate person can do very complex mathematics just by working with their hands.
For the record, this is also why older european currencies (including the British Pound until 1971) were comprised of 240 pence rather than 100, and it’s why the original meaning of the word ‘hundred’ referred to 120 rather than 100.
This thread is making me conflicted.
On one hand I hate americans, because they are from experience some of the most stupid, entitled and annoying people on the english speaking internet.
On the other hand there is truly no excuse for british cuisine. Even the few dishes that are shown as counterexamples of great british cuisine are the kind of food that I would devour as sloppa after getting drunk, but far from anything I would consider "great cuisine"
The metric system has no soul. Move the decimal, change the prefix, wow its a new number. You can explain it to a child in 10 minutes and is all over. But take a yard, 3 feet, 36 inches, can be split evenly into 2, 3, 4 , 6, 12, 18 parts. Can you split a meter evenly in thirds? Frick no because I CAN'T MATH UNLESS 10. There's 8 furlongs per mile, why? Because you won't be walking for long (rimshot). The Golden ratio isn't metric, pie isn't metric, and in a pinch you can measure out feet with your actual fricking feet of your wearing shoes (not exact but we're talking soul here). I know an inch is the length of my finger from tip to first knuckle. Horses are so many hands high, why? Because everyone has hands.
The metric system is great for either very very large numbers or very very small numbers. Any actual measuring that a human does daily is far better handled with imperial. A cup is a cup, a teaspoon is a teaspoon. Metric numbers are meaningless to most people unless you have something to compare it too. I've got more but I'm phone posting and getting tired.
>Any actual measuring that a human does daily is far better handled with imperial. A cup is a cup, a teaspoon is a teaspoon. Metric numbers are meaningless to most people unless you have something to compare it too.
I hate this argument so fricking much. The reason metric isn't intuitive to you is because you grew up with imperial. NONE of the imperial measurements are intuitive to me as someone who grew up with metric, unless I have the specific measuring receptacle needed. A cup is not the same as any normal cup I have in my home. Tell me it's 300 ml and I can estimate it.
My argument isn't that metric is more intuitive or less, it's that how intuitive a system is is learned and not inherent to the system.
I also don't like how most baking recipes are volumetric in imperial, but that's a whole other story.
Most drinking cups are within an ounce or two of an official ‘cup’. The unit is called a cup specifically because it is roughly the average size of an ordinary drinking cup. Even if your own personal cup in your cupboard isn’t exactly ‘one cup’, you can still use it because what matters in cooking is ratios rather than mass. So long as you only use that one cup during preparation.
>Most drinking cups are within an ounce or two of an official ‘cup’
That's pure bollocks, a "cup" isn't even enough to hold three quarters of a can of coke.
Has Coke ever advertised that they sell their drinks by the cup?
You're missing the point. He's saying most drinking cups are the size of an official "cup", I really doubt most of your cups are too small to hold an entire can of coke.
2 years ago
Anonymous
A cup is 8 ounces, and coke cans are 12.
2 years ago
Anonymous
...yes? >Most drinking cups are within an ounce or two of an official ‘cup’
Are most of your drinking cups that small?
2 years ago
Anonymous
If you want a bigger cup, you drink out of a pint glass. Which, as the name implies, holds a pint of fluid.
What, do you have 16 different cups for each additional ounce up to a pint?
2 years ago
Anonymous
I give up, it's like talking to a chat bot.
2 years ago
Anonymous
>make dumb comment >get called out >run away
Concession accepted, not my fault you can’t understand the word ‘cup’
>you can still use it because what matters in cooking is ratios rather than mass.
Then surely it wouldn't matter if you used imperial no? Since all that matters are the ratios? And it's not like all ingredient are given relative to cups, while in metric all ingredients are usually given relative to the gram.
Sure, if you were measuring dry ingredients by ML. Most metric users autistically measure dry ingredients by mass instead, which makes it a lot more difficult to adjust the recipe and keep the ratios correct.
Regardless, I was just explaining the origin of the term ‘cup’ and how it relates to the cups you drink out of on a daily basis
This argument is particularly out of place in a British food thread given that Britain's the only country that just uses both systems as is convenient.
Canada does too. If anything, Canada is closer to the US in terms of measurement preference than to the UK or any truly metric country. Canada ‘officially’ uses metric, but in real world terms that just means roadsigns and government paperwork are in metric. In actual life, nobody really uses it. Weights are in pounds, distances shorter than a kilometre are usually in feet or yards. ALL construction is in feet and inches. Buying food at a store is almost always in pounds or ounces. It’s hard to even find measuring tapes in metric unless you specifically ask for one.
>oh no I have a 1 1/4 pounds for a recipe that calls for a pound >no problem I can just add a 1/4 of everything because the recipe is in simple fractions and whole numbers
>oi me mince is 500g and the recipe says 453g >lemme pull me calcy >divide that >multiply the decimal to these >wroite that down >time to weigh everything >scales dead >roight 47 grams into the bin > wait how much is 47 grams?
>oi me mince is 500g and the recipe says 453g
That's just adding an extra tenth to everything, which is piss easy, if even necessary. Like, the numbers being more precise doesn't mean you have to make the ratios as precise.
The color balancing in this photo isn't great so the roast looks more done than it actually was. Yorkshires left a bit to be desired but were damn tasty
>Are England a nation of losers
the fact you have to ask means youre so fricking ignorant and blissfully unaware of the past and history
i actually kind of envy you, how many chemicals do i need to inhale to be as docile and thick as you?
2 years ago
Anonymous
sore losers it appears
2 years ago
Anonymous
so you agree that youre ignorant and thick?
takes balls to admit, good for you kid
[...]
[...]
hope you enjoyed it burger bro, would you do the same things again?
It was delicious! We did the pie one more time, but I fricked up the filling and it was dry. Haven't done another Sunday roast, but probably will for WC this winter. I'll do a better job of the parsnip and carrot too - for some reason I was convinced that I wanted to do a honey and English mustard sauce for them and, although the flavors were delicious, the idea wasn't quite as good as just salt and pepper and a longer roasting time.
Sticky toffee pud has become a regular dessert for big gatherings though, it's so easy to make a bunch of them and everyone loves them.
Can you suggest more lunchroom puddings or other classic British dishes?
Toad in the Hole is a nice easy one, since you've already made Yorkshire Puddings.
Serve with some creamy mashed potatoes, some green vegetables like peas, broccoli, or cabbage, and lashings of gravy.
Simple but delicious.
Or if you're feeling skillful, have a go at Scotch Eggs.
Scotch eggs look really fun to make, we have a regional variation here in Texas called Armadillo eggs. Same concept, but instead of a boiled egg you cut the top off of a jalapeno, core out the seeds and pith, and put a cream cheese, bacon, and green onion filling inside. Absolute banger Superbowl or camping food.
It's bread and butter pudding.
A nice way to use stale bread, mix it with some raisins, and layer with egg custard then bake in the oven.
Povvo tier, but delicious if made well. Pretty rank if it's made poorly.
Reminder that fat spastic amerimutts are literally not allowed to buy unpasturised cheese because their fat homosexual immune systems would collapse due to not eating plastic goy slop for once in their fat pathetic miscgenated lives
Sausages must not be too submerged in the batter, yorkshire pudding must not be too deep. Sausages should be pre-cooked and cut in half across the middle so they can poke upward out of the batter.
Suitable ratio of sausage to yorkshire pudding, a common flaw is over-sausaging the dish.
Why is it that you Black folk eat like you're still living in serfdom?
>Americans lose their minds at the sight of bread and cheese
Wait a minute who the frick butters the bread while on the loaf?
How have you been doing it, weirdo?
I've seen it done a few times in old 40s/50s Brit movies. Butter the end of the loaf then slice it off. I guess it prevents the bread from tearing.
Gotta love Kedgeree. Fish? Curry? Rice? Eggs? For breakfast? Yup
You've completely missed the point of the posts you're quoting you moronic britcuck, nobody is losing their shit over bread and cheese. It's the fact that you morons still eat bread and cheese like you're fricking peasants working the land for some lord instead of just eating a sandwich like the rest of the civilized world.
Calm down, Amerifriend
There's no wrong way to eat one's bread
>nobody is losing their shit over bread and cheese. It's the fact that you morons still eat bread and cheese
Room temperature IQ post
>you are stupid for eating bread and cheese without putting more bread on top to form a sandwich
>instead of just eating a sandwich like the rest of the civilized world
And where in the civilized world originated said sandwich?
aNd WheRe in the ciVIlIZED WORLd oriGinated sAiD SAndWiCH?
Yeah it was the UK, congratulations took you smooth brains hundreds of years to decide to put some vegetables and some meat between some bread and call it a "dish". It was birthed out of gambling addiction and laziness
relax, weirdo. it's a local dish.
>bongs spend 30 years bashing americans for their love of bread and dairy
>immediately start accusing americans of being idiots who don’t understand the joys of bread and dairy, when americans point out bongs have the same predilection for them
Why do yurotrash always argue like women? Catty, passive-aggressive, non-committal, and constantly moving goalposts. Is it the lack of testosterone? Or is it a culture of being so terrified their Lord or Duke would whip them for speaking out of turn that they developed a habit of making vague insults with enough plausible deniability that they won’t be punished for mouthing off.
>long, whiny diatribe with no central argument
>accuses others of being women-like
Lol
My argument is that you talk like a b***h.
>no argument
>just wants to whine
As I said, woman-like
>can’t read
>long
morons on this shithole website now consider a 4 sentence post "long." Zoomoids have the attention span of a goldfish.
I wouldn't accuse anyone of being effeminate if I was going to launch into a paragraph of screaming on the verge of tears at my own persecution complex, but also I wouldn't embarrass myself like this in the first place
I'm lactose intolerant. I'd love that scrumpy, but I'm a recovering alcoholic.
That bread looks great though.
Because they are sefs.
For me, it’s the toast sandwich
What the hell is going on with that plate of food bro
Classic Ploughmans is based, but doesn't hurt to add a few extras.
It's just a deconstructed sandwich with a side of onions and raisins. Why not just put it together like a normal human being? Bongs make no sense
That's what you do
>raisins
Thats Pickle, you bantu mongoloid savage
What a shitty charcuterie board
Stick it in a pizza box and you're onto a winner
Ploughman's lunch is for medieval peasants and larping homosexuals. Which are you?
>Don't you dare eat those normal whole foods that anyone can grow in their own garden or make from basic ingredients. You're a larper!
>You have to eat mass produced highly processed foods grown and made far from where you live.
>Don't eat food I find weird. Pay a corporation to make food for you.
You making your own cheese and brewing your own ale? homosexual
>ploughman’s lunch
>medieval
Another moron falls for the marketing.
Thick c**t.
>>he fell for reddit postmodern deconstructionism by nation-hating spiteful mutants
It's documented as far back as the 14th century. Cry more.
>still eating like a LITERAL peasant
wew
>brencheese bad because...b-because...PEOPLE USED TO EAT IT IN THE OLD DAYS AND STUFF
So?
Eat. The. Bugs. Bigot.
if English food hasn't developed since the 1200s, me explaining it on Culinaly likely would do nothing but make you seethe, cope, double down, and just make you look more stupid than you already do.
Just know the world is eternally laffin at English food
I love raw onion like you wouldn't believe
bread - sharp cheddar - raw onion - bread
There is no better sandwich.
Based. Internet fatsos who grew up on chicken nuggets can’t handle this amount of based.
Kinda wholesome, tbqhwyfldd
Based and straight
J Sheekey fish pie recipe
250ml fish stock (a good-quality cube will do)
50ml white wine
125g boneless cod or haddock fillet, skinned and cut into rough 3cm chunks
125g boneless salmon fillet, skinned and cut into rough 3cm chunks
1 tbs chopped parsley
for the sauce:
25g butter
25g flour
90ml double cream
1 tsp English mustard
1 tsp Worcestershire sauce
½ tsp anchovy essence
salt and freshly ground black pepper
for the topping:
20-30g butter
500g floury potatoes, peeled, cooked and mashed
salt and freshly ground white pepper
1 tbs milk
15g fresh white breadcrumbs
10g grated Parmesan
J Sheekey is the most famous traditional fish restaurant in the UK.
Now in english pls
Do bongs really go to the butcher and be like
> As-Salamu-Alaykum, Mate. I’ll have three hundred and seventy one grams of cod, uhhhhhhhh two hundred thirty eight grams of Salmon, and a tv license, for takeaway ol’ chap
>right, thank you very much, mate. Allahu-Akbar to you as well.
Not for much longer
God, STOP MAKING ME RESPECT THE BONGS
Lol
Lmao
Probably meant so impoverished bongs lose sight of just how much more expensive everything gets
>Out of respect for our customers, we don't raise prices!
>Now 3oz instead of 100g!
>greek and roman mathematicians were dumb, we should instead listen to french political committees
Lol
>Ancients smart
>Early modern people dumb
What did he mean by this.
I've yet to see a mathematician in favour of the imperial system btw. Maybe some of them would be in favour of a true duodezimal system, but the mishmash of the imperial system is just moronic.
Yes. Greco-Romans built the west, ~~*revolutionary French*~~ ideals destroyed it.
>~~*revolutionary French*~~ ideals destroyed it.
Fricking this.
>I've yet to see a mathematician in favour of the imperial system btw
Cool now talk to some tradesmen.
Why would I talk to blue collar bottom of the barrel morons?
They won’t argue in favour of the imperial system specifically. But if you ask them whether base 12/16 or base 10 is better as an actual tool for calculation, most of them will say base 12 or 16. If you asked them to design the most functional counting system they could possibly think of, most of them would settle on either binary (which base 16 is derived from), or base 60 (which base 12 is derived from).
Haven’t you ever wondered why there are 24 hours in a day and 60 minutes in an hour?
That's exactly what I said dipshit.
You were implying that they wouldn’t support the imperial system because it would, in their eyes, be ‘inferior’. Although I agree that they wouldn’t support it, I reckon it would be for purely cultural reasons. Scientists and other academic objectivists have a habit of dismissing out-of-hand anything old as automatically being “inferior” to something newer. It’s highly likely they would say the imperial system is bad simply because “it is old and predates modern science, therefore it is worthless”. Nobody is completely unbiased.
There’s 24 hours in a day because eygptians split their days based on the number of decans in the sky not because “it’s the most logical way of counting”
I don't know what a decan is but I like 12 better as an important number because it factors by 1, 2, 3, 4, 6, and 12 rather than 10 which only has 1, 2, 5, and 10.
This was also a thing when they switched to metric in Canada. Originally, you were 9nly supposed to be charged by the kg but retailers thought that it would make everything look more expensive so they petitioned to he able to charge per 100g and so forth
Brexit means Brexit
It's a different scale, not some sort of bizarre other system. Are you just confused by numbers larger than 12?
He is american.
>lololol ameridumbnonsensicalslur doesn't use metric because moron
>dividing by 5280????????
Not that anon but I encourage you to read the full reply chain
No, why the frick would we go to the butcher for fish
who buys fish from the butcher? dont you have a fishmonger
Incredibly based post
why do bongoloids do this
just make a sandwich you tard all the ingredients are right there
Mum whipped this up a few nights ago. Absolutely delicious. Stargazy pie is one of my all-time favourites.
why does Culinaly ape out about british food daily?
To balance out the shitposting about American food that also happens daily
>ape out
That is literally a picture of my mothers pie. I'm contributing to the thread.
STOP CHIMPING OUT
It's pure envy.
Brits and Dutch are cavemen when it comes to good food. They know nothing about it nor do they care for a fraction of a second. They love advertising and selling their garbage and pretend it's phenomenal.
Americans think this is hilarious because they're the product of Brit+Dutch cuisine and far worse.
Continental Europeans are in stitches because Brits and Dutch are completely oblivious to the handful of quality food and drink products in their respective countries (fish, fruit, wild plants).
As a bong, living in the Netherlands, this is absolutely right, except for one point.
'Continental Europe' is just as bad. Mediterranean Europe is where the good food is. Poland, Germany, and Austria are just as fricking shit as the UK or NL at making the best of local ingredients.
Also, whilst the Ploughman's can't be called a 'dish', as it is a loosely defined collection of parts, it tends to focus on what the UK does well. Cheese, bread, pickles, local fruit, ale. People that call cheese bland come from countries with bad cheese.
you can't deny this looks absolutely kino as frick
Date some crazy shit man I gotta look it up. What's it taste like?
>ITT
>Making a sandwich is the difference between FREEDOM(tm) and serfdom
Americans are weird.
Dip you have a license to have that opinion?
Bread is meant to be kept sliced and frozen and only taken out a few times a year and toasted.
The frick are people eating poison bread for anyways? 85% meat diet.
>freeze bread
Holy shit. Ill just stick my bollocks in a vice too
>leaving bread in the refridgerator or out in room temperature
Holy shit. How fricking moronic can you be? Enjoy your mold and quick shelf life.
How fricking moronic are these guys?
>storing bread for more than one day
just buy a fresh stick in the morning or after work
nobody asked also you're a ketard
idk about cuisine but clotted cream is fricking good and isn't in america for some reason
i don't recall anything else good i had there that isn't here
high iq
>2022
>still eating peasant bread regularity
>Not eating a primary meat and dairy diet
>homosexual thinks, that noblemen didn't eat bread 700 years ago
They didn't know better fatty.
I feel bad for ploughman
You will never have dental care. You have no floss, you have no toothpaste, you have no mouthwash. You are an unhygenic man twisted by tea and crumpets into a crude mockery of nature’s perfection.
All the “tally-ho’s” you get are two-faced and half-hearted. Behind your back people mock you. Your lads are disgusted and ashamed of you, your “mates” laugh at your ghoulish smile behind closed doors.
Dentists are utterly repulsed by you. Thousands of years of medical science have allowed doctors to clean teeth with incredible efficiency. Even Englishmen who “brush their teeth” look uncanny and unnatural to a dentist. Your rotting gums are a dead giveaway. And even if you manage to make an appointment with a dentist, he’ll turn tail and bolt the second he gets a whiff of your diseased, infected maw.
You will never be able to chew solid food. You wrench out a few meager strokes of the toothbrush at the top of the morning and tell yourself it’s going to be ok, but deep inside you feel the halitosis creeping up like a weed, ready to crush you under the unbearable weight.
Eventually it’ll be too much to bear - you’ll buy a rope, tie a noose, put it around your neck, buy a suicide license, and plunge into the cold abyss. Your queen will find you, heartbroken but relieved that she no longer has to live with the unbearable stench. They’ll bury you without your dentures, and every passerby for the rest of eternity will know an Englishman is buried there. Your remaining teeth will decay and go back to the dust, and all that will remain of your toiletries is a toothbrush that was never opened.
"You will never have de-"
>gets shot
>weetabix
love these lil homies
kys
>weetabix
MFW when I mentioned that I've noticed someones been stealing my weetabix at the office and the fat girl came over to me later and said "I know you think it was me but it wasnt"
I smiled and told her that I didn't, but secretly I knew it was her, the person beside me knew it was her, the whole office knew it was her.
The weetabix stopped being stolen after that.
>Facebook frog
Explains you’re breakfast cereal habit, normalgay.
They changed the wikipedia picture from the extremely attractive meal you posted to this. What a shame.
Looks good.
I didn't realise that I'd been eating Ploughman's lunches for years until now
"ploughman's lunch" aka sliced bread and whatever spreads and raw vegetables I have in my fridge is what you eat when you're depressed, tired, angry or all of the above. It absolutely does not replace an actual cooked meal and will quickly lead to overeating. Someone explain why the Brits see something that's by all accounts student poverty food that every western culture has, but hides in shame, as some sort of culinary achievement?
>bubuh muh traditional hearty no-nonsense bland slop
Your traditions are shit. Believe it or not Bonglandia is not the only country with a tradition of working class peasant foods. Over here a ploughman's lunch is boiled potatoes and green beans dressed with crackling and sour cream. Beats literal bread, butter and raw onions any day.
>some sort of culinary achievement?
No Englishman calls a ploughman's lunch (bread, English cheese, pickle) as a 'culinary achievement', because its basic sustainance for working in the fields all day and we are not queer dickheads who get their pubes in a twist over 'muh presentation, muh spicerinos, muh food culture'. That is why every poor seething loser on this board constantly screeches about us.
the basic substance for a small-souled people maybe.
>Every meal needs to be a huge heap of lengthily-prepared food!
No wonder Amerisoys are so supple and fat and die in their 60s
>boiling potatoes and beans is too lengthy for the average Anglo
ADHD zoomer race. Forever eating like a 12yo left alone in the house for the first time.
>multiples of 10 are better because....they just ARE, ok?!
>because....they just ARE, ok?!
Imperial would be based if the conversion between units was uniform (so always the same multiplier to go up or down one order of magnitude) and you guys committed to then using that multiplier as the base for your number system. Until then it's just a halfway cucked compromise.
The entire point is to have a variety of different factors so things can be evenly broken down to as many different prime numbers as possible.
Regardless, all imperial units are either Base 12 or Base 16 anyway.
>The entire point is to have a variety of different factors so things can be evenly broken down
Interesting, I haven't thought about that nor has anyone ever made that argument to me before. I guess it's nice to be able to handle whole numbers rather than fractions. But my number system argument stands.
Time to commit to base12, frick it.
You’re approaching imperial from a metric mindset. Imperial was created before calculators really existed (abacii not withstanding), so it’s focused around easy-to-understand fractions that can be calculated mentally. Most everything is built around the concept of splitting things in half. ½, which splits into ¼, which splits into ⅛, which splits into one-sixteenth; into one-thirtysecondth; into one-sixtyfourth, and so on. By doing this, even a completely illiterate person can do very complex mathematics just by working with their hands.
For the record, this is also why older european currencies (including the British Pound until 1971) were comprised of 240 pence rather than 100, and it’s why the original meaning of the word ‘hundred’ referred to 120 rather than 100.
>Multiples of 3, 4, 12 and 1760 in a decimal system are TRADITION
Your brain on fish&chips.
This thread is making me conflicted.
On one hand I hate americans, because they are from experience some of the most stupid, entitled and annoying people on the english speaking internet.
On the other hand there is truly no excuse for british cuisine. Even the few dishes that are shown as counterexamples of great british cuisine are the kind of food that I would devour as sloppa after getting drunk, but far from anything I would consider "great cuisine"
Retro Ploughmans
Very nice spread
Based Old Speckled Hen drinker. Good on you for doing carrots and parsnips together. I was raised on those on Sundays.
The metric system has no soul. Move the decimal, change the prefix, wow its a new number. You can explain it to a child in 10 minutes and is all over. But take a yard, 3 feet, 36 inches, can be split evenly into 2, 3, 4 , 6, 12, 18 parts. Can you split a meter evenly in thirds? Frick no because I CAN'T MATH UNLESS 10. There's 8 furlongs per mile, why? Because you won't be walking for long (rimshot). The Golden ratio isn't metric, pie isn't metric, and in a pinch you can measure out feet with your actual fricking feet of your wearing shoes (not exact but we're talking soul here). I know an inch is the length of my finger from tip to first knuckle. Horses are so many hands high, why? Because everyone has hands.
The metric system is great for either very very large numbers or very very small numbers. Any actual measuring that a human does daily is far better handled with imperial. A cup is a cup, a teaspoon is a teaspoon. Metric numbers are meaningless to most people unless you have something to compare it too. I've got more but I'm phone posting and getting tired.
But anon how will we ever get the recipe right if we add 471 mills of water to our naan bread instead of 470 mills.
>Any actual measuring that a human does daily is far better handled with imperial. A cup is a cup, a teaspoon is a teaspoon. Metric numbers are meaningless to most people unless you have something to compare it too.
I hate this argument so fricking much. The reason metric isn't intuitive to you is because you grew up with imperial. NONE of the imperial measurements are intuitive to me as someone who grew up with metric, unless I have the specific measuring receptacle needed. A cup is not the same as any normal cup I have in my home. Tell me it's 300 ml and I can estimate it.
My argument isn't that metric is more intuitive or less, it's that how intuitive a system is is learned and not inherent to the system.
I also don't like how most baking recipes are volumetric in imperial, but that's a whole other story.
Most drinking cups are within an ounce or two of an official ‘cup’. The unit is called a cup specifically because it is roughly the average size of an ordinary drinking cup. Even if your own personal cup in your cupboard isn’t exactly ‘one cup’, you can still use it because what matters in cooking is ratios rather than mass. So long as you only use that one cup during preparation.
>Most drinking cups are within an ounce or two of an official ‘cup’
That's pure bollocks, a "cup" isn't even enough to hold three quarters of a can of coke.
Because a cup is 2/3 of a can of coke. Learn math.
You're missing the point. He's saying most drinking cups are the size of an official "cup", I really doubt most of your cups are too small to hold an entire can of coke.
A cup is 8 ounces, and coke cans are 12.
...yes?
>Most drinking cups are within an ounce or two of an official ‘cup’
Are most of your drinking cups that small?
If you want a bigger cup, you drink out of a pint glass. Which, as the name implies, holds a pint of fluid.
What, do you have 16 different cups for each additional ounce up to a pint?
I give up, it's like talking to a chat bot.
>make dumb comment
>get called out
>run away
Concession accepted, not my fault you can’t understand the word ‘cup’
Has Coke ever advertised that they sell their drinks by the cup?
>you can still use it because what matters in cooking is ratios rather than mass.
Then surely it wouldn't matter if you used imperial no? Since all that matters are the ratios? And it's not like all ingredient are given relative to cups, while in metric all ingredients are usually given relative to the gram.
Sure, if you were measuring dry ingredients by ML. Most metric users autistically measure dry ingredients by mass instead, which makes it a lot more difficult to adjust the recipe and keep the ratios correct.
Regardless, I was just explaining the origin of the term ‘cup’ and how it relates to the cups you drink out of on a daily basis
>Any actual measuring that a human does daily is far better handled with imperial.
not everyone works in retail
Boring autists. Post some food ffs.
This argument is particularly out of place in a British food thread given that Britain's the only country that just uses both systems as is convenient.
Canada does too. If anything, Canada is closer to the US in terms of measurement preference than to the UK or any truly metric country. Canada ‘officially’ uses metric, but in real world terms that just means roadsigns and government paperwork are in metric. In actual life, nobody really uses it. Weights are in pounds, distances shorter than a kilometre are usually in feet or yards. ALL construction is in feet and inches. Buying food at a store is almost always in pounds or ounces. It’s hard to even find measuring tapes in metric unless you specifically ask for one.
imagine using the same system as Liberia
idk if you're moronic or not, but liberia is literally america in africa. it was a colony.
liberia uses imperial for that reason
>commonwealth countries still use oven measurements in imperial
also height and weight and colloquially most short distances
>oh no I have a 1 1/4 pounds for a recipe that calls for a pound
>no problem I can just add a 1/4 of everything because the recipe is in simple fractions and whole numbers
>oi me mince is 500g and the recipe says 453g
>lemme pull me calcy
>divide that
>multiply the decimal to these
>wroite that down
>time to weigh everything
>scales dead
>roight 47 grams into the bin
> wait how much is 47 grams?
metric is pretty stupid sometimes
>oi me mince is 500g and the recipe says 453g
That's just adding an extra tenth to everything, which is piss easy, if even necessary. Like, the numbers being more precise doesn't mean you have to make the ratios as precise.
What if a recipe calls for 4 1/2 pounds of something and you have 5 pounds?
>What if a recipe calls for 4 1/2 pounds of something and you have 5 pounds?
eyeball it, never did me mum wrong.
The US is mixed too. We sell weed in grams.
If I were King I'd start a war over that insult to our nation.
burger here
Steak and gravy pie I made for the euro cup game vs Scotland
Sticky toffee pud for dessert
We don't have clotted cream here so I used whipped cream
Roast for the final
I didn't know Brits don't put flour in their gravy so it's not quite right but was still delicious
The color balancing in this photo isn't great so the roast looks more done than it actually was. Yorkshires left a bit to be desired but were damn tasty
Looks right awful mate
Thanks it was delicious
England lost by the way lol
Are England a nation of losers?
>Are England a nation of losers
the fact you have to ask means youre so fricking ignorant and blissfully unaware of the past and history
i actually kind of envy you, how many chemicals do i need to inhale to be as docile and thick as you?
sore losers it appears
so you agree that youre ignorant and thick?
takes balls to admit, good for you kid
top effort lad looks delish
>export old speckled hen reminds you it's english
Clear bottle is a dead giveaway the beer is shite.
Where are you seeing a clear bottle?
Old Speckled Hen comes in a clear bottle.
it's distinctive
Huh?
>Huh?
Fricking spastic.
Brown bottle for export lad
And yet somehow, the bottle in the photo is not clear.
I love that you tried, I'm sure it was delicious.
It was delicious! We did the pie one more time, but I fricked up the filling and it was dry. Haven't done another Sunday roast, but probably will for WC this winter. I'll do a better job of the parsnip and carrot too - for some reason I was convinced that I wanted to do a honey and English mustard sauce for them and, although the flavors were delicious, the idea wasn't quite as good as just salt and pepper and a longer roasting time.
Sticky toffee pud has become a regular dessert for big gatherings though, it's so easy to make a bunch of them and everyone loves them.
Can you suggest more lunchroom puddings or other classic British dishes?
Toad in the Hole is a nice easy one, since you've already made Yorkshire Puddings.
Serve with some creamy mashed potatoes, some green vegetables like peas, broccoli, or cabbage, and lashings of gravy.
Simple but delicious.
Or if you're feeling skillful, have a go at Scotch Eggs.
Scotch eggs look really fun to make, we have a regional variation here in Texas called Armadillo eggs. Same concept, but instead of a boiled egg you cut the top off of a jalapeno, core out the seeds and pith, and put a cream cheese, bacon, and green onion filling inside. Absolute banger Superbowl or camping food.
hope you enjoyed it burger bro, would you do the same things again?
Corrrrr, looks gurt tha'
Pie's a treat pal, next time gonna make pie and liquor mash or whatever it's called.
Good choice lad, dont let the bugmen on here dissuade you, it's good hearty stuff
im indian so those raw onions are looking pretty good right now
In Australia we have this cheese that's just a ploughmans all in one and holy shit it is like heroin.
No one here understands what a Ploughman's is so it's always on sale for ME to EAT
Are those... raw onions?
Onions in the buck
The only british food I've ever enjoyed besides fish and chips was scotch eggs. Love thos lil homies like you won't believe.
>"British"
>"cuisine"
You can only choose one
God tier if done correctly
Is that one of those french toast pie type things?
Fricking delicious, I usually make mine without the cheese and have bacon on the side and eat it with a little bit of maple syrup.
It's still delicious as a savoury dish though.
Excellent for providing cooked breakfast to a crowd too.
It's bread and butter pudding.
A nice way to use stale bread, mix it with some raisins, and layer with egg custard then bake in the oven.
Povvo tier, but delicious if made well. Pretty rank if it's made poorly.
Reminder that fat spastic amerimutts are literally not allowed to buy unpasturised cheese because their fat homosexual immune systems would collapse due to not eating plastic goy slop for once in their fat pathetic miscgenated lives
literally?
Toad in the hole, if it's made well
Sausages must not be too submerged in the batter, yorkshire pudding must not be too deep. Sausages should be pre-cooked and cut in half across the middle so they can poke upward out of the batter.
Suitable ratio of sausage to yorkshire pudding, a common flaw is over-sausaging the dish.
Must use reasonable quality sausages.
Do not forget the gravy.
I enjoy toad in the hole but I can't really see how it's at all better than just frying the sausages and making yorkies.
I do this too. I guess I just meant the combination of sausage and yorkshire pudding with gravy.
Best toad in the hole I ever had was 5 years ago in The Swan in London.
my fav
Baileys® Chocolate Ganache
To be honest, Victorian dessert recipes
, I never understood why English recipes were criticized because Victorian cuisine is very good
and jamie oliver is not the guy who brings good recipes back to england saying average people eating Skittles and chemical
meat rolls daily like wtf
Jamie Olive oil
Any good classic victorian dessert cookbooks?
try not naming them spotted dick
Why does drawn or cartoon food always look so good