>tfw you will never be a soda jerk at the local soda fountain

>tfw you will never be a soda jerk at the local soda fountain
yet another cool thing lost to the march of time

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  1. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I can still get a milkshake at the milkbar, but there won't be a jukebox.

  2. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    you can still jerk off into soda

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      One time I dipped my entire erect wiener into a glass of coke before serving it to my (female) cousin

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        what did you do with the coke

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous
        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          masterful

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Don't worry you can still be a regular jerk

          Keked and checked

  3. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    its over/...

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      When I was a teenager my grandpa showed me a picture of four hot women posing for him on the beach
      >as soon as I saw them I knew I had to marry one of them
      >turned out I snagged the youngest one!
      WTH Gramps, don't mindfrick me with sexy grandma photos!

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        grandboomers were lucky

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          He was flush with cash and war trophies
          Every leave he's mail a box of Lugers and bayonets and shit back home
          They also looted every abandoned safe they came across
          99th Infantry, the Battle Babies
          >checkmate

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            >They also looted every abandoned safe they came across
            So, the belongings of civilians?

            • 4 weeks ago
              Anonymous

              Someone was gonna do it, you think the SS wasn't? You don't think the Fallschirmjaegers wouldn't? You think other civilians wouldn't?
              Look them up
              >45% casualty rate
              >10% KIA
              >15% taken prisoner
              They were one of the bloodiest and bloodied divisions in the Western Theater
              You take that shit and you mail it to your parents because there's a good chance you won't be able to take care of them down the line
              My other grandfather fought in the Free Polish Army, he had a box of teeth
              A box of motherfricking teeth
              What's the joke? Say "war crimes" twice and Canada will show up. Say it a third time and Poland will
              My wife grandfather was a Seabee, he was on Peleliu, Palau, Guadalcanal, and Okinawa
              He taught me how to take out a Jap pillbox
              You suppress it with either a squad of dudes or at least two machineguns, then advance on it with your bulldozer
              When you get to the point where you have to raise the blade you're exposed as the driver, so have one or two flamethrowers behind you pop out and spray that into the pillbox
              Once you've climbed on top of the pillbox just run one track forward and the other in reverse until the thing crushes, trapping them inside to starve or whatever, then move on to the next one

              • 4 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                You are genetically bereft of honor. Congenitally evil. A blight on humanity.

              • 4 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                >represent American values
                >act like a Black person
                Checks out.

            • 4 weeks ago
              Anonymous

              Fight harder next time Hans. Fickificki.

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            >a box of lugers
            Your grandpa was full of shit. Lugers were prized because theyre rare. Most officers were issues Walther p38s. The most full of shit generation.

            • 4 weeks ago
              Anonymous

              But grampa had to walk fifTEEN miles to school everyday, uphill both ways. Why would he lie about being so tough?

            • 4 weeks ago
              Anonymous

              He had quite a few of those, Mausers, and something French but I don't recall what it was
              He bought a bunch of pistols after the war

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Oh and he was a buck Private his whole time he was deployed and when the war was over, they looked at his record and backdated his promotion to Sergeant First Class for his actions at Eisenborn and back-payed him for like, a full year and he stayed in France for a year or two after that
          He learned a little French and he always used to say his favorite was
          >chercher les femmes
          Took me until I was older that I realized he was tellin me, like, "boy howdy let me tell you I was slayin that pussy, I turned more bodies horizontal after the war than during it and you seen my collection of Lugers"

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Skirt is way too short

  4. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Yeah, that guy looks like a real jerk.

  5. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    why's he have scene hair bangs

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      I had to look really close, and I think it's a scoop of ice cream that he flipped in the air, look at the scoop in his hand

  6. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I'm a different kind of soda jerk but it's still fulfilling

  7. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    There are literally three soda fountains in my area and one employs a dozen people lmao
    In fact, that one looks eerily identical to the one in your pic.

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