What am I missing about covfefe?

What am I missing about covfefe?

I'm 32 and it's always been a jittery disgusting burnt bitter bean water brew you need to cut with sugar and milk to even swallow. I can drink energy drinks fine (no jitters), and even enjoy the taste of some Chinese teas, but coffee? It's gross. How does anyone drink this, let alone it forming a multi billion dollar worldwide industry?

Did I get filtered? Or are my tastebuds the last bastion of honesty in this clown world and everyone else is either a pretentious pretender, stimulant addicted, or has outright pavlov dogged themselves into "enjoying" toxic bean sludge?

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  1. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I used to drink like a pot of coffee a day from 18 to 27 and then after 27 it began to make me vibrate. I think maybe you just missed the boat.

  2. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >and even enjoy the taste of some Chinese teas
    Have you tried well prepared, quality coffee?

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Yes. If something is good, it's inherent goodness isnt price dependent (although there are refinements in quality). Have you ever had actively revolting orange juice? I haven't. Even the cheap stuff is still good. Coffee makes me want to spit it out. "Spend more" is the kind of argument pretentious wine drinkers use as well - as if getting scammed harder for rotten grapes makes a man cultured. Frick you. You know what I'm right. Coffee is disgusting. Beer is disgusting. Wine is disgusting. All spirits are just racing fuel cut with enough water to allow alcoholics to swallow them.

      I know what tastes good and my personal judgment on gastronomic value is THE SOURCE of objective aesthetic culinary FACT in this universe. Coffee IS DISGUSTING. no ifs and or buts about it you Starbucks fellating prostitute.

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        It was just a question. I don't drink coffee, I drink tea. Now calm down

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        It must suck to have absolute pleb tastes. I bet you are a massive homosexual at parties, if you even get invited to them.

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Snap it, homosexual, and stick to your energy drinks. Those are SO delicious!

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        coffee is dependent on its process more than orange juice. an orange, you just juice it and it's good, but with coffee there are a lot of ways to frick it up. many coffee brands over-roast and burn their beans, and the level of cleanliness and type of coffee brewing device is important to the flavor as well
        it really does sound as though you have been filtered, judging by your quickness to throw a tanty about a harmless cup of coffee

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        >as if getting scammed harder for rotten grapes makes a man cultured
        >offee is disgusting. Beer is disgusting. Wine is disgusting
        >spirits are just racing fuel cut with enough water to allow alcoholics to swallow them
        My man. I agree on all points. Also 32.

        Coffee is just a plausible excuse for addicts to blame their shitty personality on something other than their upbringing. It's their personality in a cup.

        As for wine, wine tastings and "cellar door" bullshit tours are just another plausible excuse for boomers and wine aunts to get pissed before mid day on a thursday.
        >you have to drink it more/regularly then you'll like it
        Just pour acid on your tastebuds instead you'll get there quicker.

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        What about cheesy penises? Do you like them?

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      This.

      I got a Chemex and a bag of Ethiopian beanz, good shit.

      Also I've never noticed how massive Hoffman's hands are.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Basically this.
      Coffee is produced in multiple steps all of which can be screwed up, a bit like with tea.
      Most commercial coffee is roasted at extreme heat for a short period to lower cost at the expense of quality. The majority of which is then pre-ground, leading to quick degradation, and if that weren't enough you can frick up the brewing too.
      People just accept it because they drown it in sugar, milk, syrups, cream etc. and don't want to pay more than a couple of bucks for what is, at its core, a luxury good.

      https://i.imgur.com/ZUCzFjJ.jpeg

      Yes. If something is good, it's inherent goodness isnt price dependent (although there are refinements in quality). Have you ever had actively revolting orange juice? I haven't. Even the cheap stuff is still good. Coffee makes me want to spit it out. "Spend more" is the kind of argument pretentious wine drinkers use as well - as if getting scammed harder for rotten grapes makes a man cultured. Frick you. You know what I'm right. Coffee is disgusting. Beer is disgusting. Wine is disgusting. All spirits are just racing fuel cut with enough water to allow alcoholics to swallow them.

      I know what tastes good and my personal judgment on gastronomic value is THE SOURCE of objective aesthetic culinary FACT in this universe. Coffee IS DISGUSTING. no ifs and or buts about it you Starbucks fellating prostitute.

      Bait, I hope. Else I'll have to pray for you and your room temperature iq.

  3. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >but coffee? It's gross.
    I thought so too, but then I tried a latte macchiato and I started getting into drinking cappuccinos.

  4. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I only drink double shot espressos personally
    Black coffee is just disgusting

  5. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Stimulant addiction, I guess. Drugs affect everyone different, same as how some people get hooked on cigs or booze or needles, caffeine just doesn't do it for you.
    I guess I'm being unfair, coffee is a food too. I personally like the bitterness. I also like grapefruit, blue cheese, the juice from the sauerkraut jar, olives sometimes.

  6. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Coffee can taste good. Like if nothing else you could get one of the frozen coffee varieties like McDonald's (e.g. caramel frappe or a vanilla cappuccino) has and then it'll just taste like a refreshing dessert drink.
    The problem you can't really solve is caffeine sensitivity. Some people can handle drinking tons of caffeine but for others it'll just be an assault on your body and health. Especially if you have gastrointestinal problems and/or an autoimmune disease caffeine in doses like what's in coffee and coffee adjacent products will likely just speed everything up and inflame your organs on top of making you shaky and on edge.
    A soda in contrast is usually several times less caffeine than a coffee so you can get away with it.
    Coffee is pretty similar to alcohol in this way. Alcohol's another substance that'll be tolerated fine by some people but for others with more age under their belts and chronic diseases it'll just agitate their bodies and frick up their health even in the short term.
    The correct alternative drug for when you're reacting badly to stimulants like a coffee's worth of caffeine would be THC. Or benzodiazepines if you can get them.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      tl;dr Some people don't like coffee. Get over it.

  7. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    coffee is for staying up all night praying to Allah (PBUH)

  8. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    drinking coffee for the taste is just people gaslighting themselves into believing theyre doing something other than substance abusing. Kinda like they do with beer.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      This is true if your drinking pretentious light roast high altitude whatever the frick lattes, or IPAs. Classic dark roasted coffee and porters are delicious.

  9. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >jittery disgusting burnt bitter bean water
    found your problem, you're a homosexual based on your diction. you probably have to fix that first.
    >Or are my tastebuds the last bastion of honesty in this clown world
    yeah, everybody else is wrong. dipshit.

  10. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Nothing. You either like it or you don't. Try every one of the following at least once, and from a proper cafe:

    >regular cup of drip/French press/pourover, black
    >regular cup of drip/French press/pourover with half-and-half and sugar
    >espresso (plain/black)
    >capuccino
    >cafe latte

    If you don't like any of them, you just don't like coffee. Not a huge deal.

  11. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    You have to drink it until your brain associates the bitter liquid with its caffeine fix, at which point you will begin to crave it, and eventually come to love the flavor, aroma, etc.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      This. Charlie make your nose run but no one minds because they're too busy being high.

  12. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >toxic bean sludge
    Says alot about the quality of what you've tried.

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