what is the single best topping for pizza and why is it [spoiler]jalapenos[/spoiler]?

what is the single best topping for pizza and why is it jalapenos?

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  1. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    I know what the best topping is... but I won't tell you...

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      Ripe olives

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        Where do you source unripe olives from?

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          A can.
          Green olives with that red thing inside them are fantastic, I love those little shits. Every time I start eating them straight from the jar though, I always get worried about that time when I was a kid and got the only nosebleed I've ever had from eating an entire can of black olives.

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            But those are still ripe, they're just not fully ripe
            An unripe olive would be to hard to chew

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            >that time when I was a kid and got the only nosebleed I've ever had from eating an entire can of black olives.
            what???

  2. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Walnut sauce.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      You think you're hot shit, doncha!?

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      Waow! I'll take the pepperoni with extra cheese, thanksh

  3. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    jalapenos aren't best at anything.
    They're still tasty though, so they get an A for effort.

  4. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Cheese without doubt. You wouldn't pick jalapenos over cheese would you?

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      saying cheese is a pizza topping is like saying beef is a burger topping

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        Well if you count non-beef burgers as burgers too, then maybe. But you can't have a burger without a patty, while you can have a pizza without cheese.

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          A pizza without cheese is just a flat bread like how a burger without a patty is just a sandwich.
          The three core ingredients that make it a pizza are bread, cheese, and tomato. Without one of those three, it's not a pizza.

          It was always a grim, depressing task when a customer ordered a gluten free pizza without cheese. It just felt wrong. Not just because of the abomination I had to create for them, but also because they can't have nice things.

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            >The three core ingredients that make it a pizza are bread, cheese, and tomato. Without one of those three, it's not a pizza.
            You're just plain wrong. You don't even need tomato for it to be a pizza, moron. Never heard of white pizza?

            • 1 month ago
              Anonymous

              Yeah, you're now being a pedant and are probably a pederast. You knew quite well what the gaylord meant

            • 1 month ago
              Anonymous

              Frick, you're right, I guess Alfredo instead of tomato is still pizza.
              You do still need cheese though. I guess I should correct myself and say bread, SAUCE and cheese.

              • 1 month ago
                Anonymous

                You don't know what you're talking about. Generally we think of the pizza base as something distinct from bread, because the dough is different from bread-dough and have different properties. Pizza is defined by this base or "crust" if you want, not by the toppings. Some of the most classical pizzas include pizza marinara that doesn't have cheese and pizza fritta that often doesn't have any tomato or sauce.

              • 1 month ago
                Anonymous

                Man, you're a bit of a dick. But you're a hell of a lot better than those fat ramen weebs and those even fatter McDonald's 'connoisseurs'

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          just stop being a homosexual for once in your life

  5. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Spoilers are only a thing on media related boards, OP.
    But I agree, jalapenos on pizza are fantastic.
    Back when I was working for Domino's for several years, I started hating pizza but my roomie who worked at a different store at the time told me to get a pan with just jalapenos. Delicious, cured my hatred of pizza.
    The first time I ordered myself one, I was on shift, the lobby was closed but we were still delivering for a few hours after. I ordered the last pan dough we had and my GM got angry, especially since he had to make it for me since I was too busy on the phones.
    His manlet Nintendo drone seething made it taste even better. That 5 foot manchild was such an butthole. When that open world Zelda game came out, he waddled over to sit next to me on the bench before I had to clock in to talk about it. He was eating a gogurt and his feet dangled above the floor.
    Good times were had pissing him off.
    We called him Lucky the Leprechaun.

  6. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    For me, it's tuna
    the dryness of the tuna perfectly pairs with the moistness of the cheese

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      An interesting take.
      I still prefer sardines or anchovies though.

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        'chovies have always been too salty for me
        might try deenz on' za one day thoughie

  7. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    I've been eating banana peppers and onions for years on end but if just one? probably onions

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      Maaaan, tough choice between the two, but I'd have chosen the banana peppers.
      I think the sauce makes the onions a bit redundant in comparison. The banana peppers add something new to the taste while still complimenting it.

  8. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    steamed carrots, actual hidden treasure

  9. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    pan pizza: pepperoni
    thick hand-tossed pizza: italian sausage
    thin hand-tossed pizza: light cheese
    cracker crust pizza: mushroom

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      italian sausage is pretty damn good
      A single topping is a difficult choice. Caramelized onions would be solid, mushrooms would be great if paired with the right cheese base, I would even go with a sauce drizzle like barbecue if it doesn't dominate the flavors.

  10. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Banana peppers

  11. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Best topping is peas

  12. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Pizza toppings always start with pepperoni. It gets better after mushrooms, jalapenos, and ham. You have the fat and spiciness from pepperoni, earthiness from mushrooms, that weird vegetal grassiness of jalapeno, and the sweetness of ham. The combination is in perfect harmony with the tomato based sauce, cheese, and gluteny bite of the crust.
    Beyond these four toppings a pizza is better than if it had just the three; pepperoni, mushrooms, jalapenos. But always worse than if you'd just stopped at four; pepperoni, mushroom, jalapenos, and ham.
    The weirdo non-pizzas made with BBQ sauce, alfredo, or pesto aren't pizzas. Might as well just shit on a saltine and call it pizza if you're doing weird shit.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      >sweetness of the ham
      My guy, if you think ham tastes sweet, you need to go to a doctor. I'm the same way, fat tastes sweet to me, and it's a common tell of hypoglycemia.
      Shit sucks, but it's even worse when you're not aware of it.
      Please get yourself checked out, I care about you.

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        Or maybe it's sweet cured ham?

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        But honey ham is sweet

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          Or maybe it's sweet cured ham?

          Honey ham is of course sweet, yeah, but if just plain ham in general tastes sweet, you need to see a doctor.
          I myself have gotten to the point where cream cheese tastes sweet to me. That's not good, guys.

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        How is it a bad thing? Can they even do anything about thatt? I've had "idiopathic syncope" a couple times but doc just says e-girldk sure hope it doesn't happen again, ps that'll be $1,000 + tip.

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        Tell me more about your symptoms. Im really curious

        >17, get job, start smoking weed all day, no meals provided at work, huge panic attack, have mental breakdown
        >broken person, routine panic attacks, nonstop anxiety, over decade before halfway normal again

        My useless doctor simply told me to "stop doing drugs" and gave me xanax.
        My aunt has claimed to be hypo for years, so my Type 1 mom tested me after an attack and I was in the 50s.
        I started eating small meals all day every day and never looked much further into it.

        Before my brain broke, I obsessively chewed gum, ate candy and drank soda. I was skinny.
        I just googled it and smoking weed has been shown to drop your blood sugar too.

        I wonder if im hypoglycemic or it was just an episode spurred on by my actions and bad diet.
        Im overweight and eat too much now.

  13. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    jalapeños

  14. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Jalapenos are best toppings for nachos but pizza needs some meats.

  15. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    patricians enjoy cheese pizza as-is because they get the best pizza. and don't get me started on homosexual manchildren who get extra cheese.

  16. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    You were so close.

  17. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Jalapenos always destroy my butthole but I am extremely tempted by their flavor every time the option arises. I wish the siren call of jalapenos would stop leading me to my doom or that I could somehow not be in pain.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      Switch to New Mexico peppers, the Anaheim variety is particularly mild yet flavorful
      They have tough outer skins so you should roast them and peel them

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        I'm never gonna find a spot that serves those on pizza, and even if I did it just wouldn't be the same... Looks like it's meat lovers again and extra beer to drown my sorrows.

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          Almost every pizza place should have banana peppers

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            If they have green chili as a topping option, it's almost certainly New Mexico

            I appreciate the suggestions but comparing either one to jalapeno is like comparing bologna to wagyu, it's simply over for me and I need to accept that

            • 1 month ago
              Anonymous

              New Mexico peppers and jalapenos have a very similar taste, just less spicy
              However, green chilEs are roasted, which gives them a different texture so I understand

            • 1 month ago
              Anonymous

              True, so why are you so hellbent on eating bologna?

              • 1 month ago
                Anonymous

                I'm not, it was just an example how one can't possibly compete with the other. The wagyu I had in Japan was delicious.

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          If they have green chili as a topping option, it's almost certainly New Mexico

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            *green chile
            Chili is a sauce

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