Why does my microwave connect to the web?

Why does my microwave connect to the web?

  1. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    planned obsolescence trough firmware updates eventually. i would disconnect it tbh. if it works it works.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      Tinfoil answer:
      Equally scary open answer: to monitor it

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        Planned obsolescence is 100% a thing my friend, it just may not be proven in this case. Apple is a big proponent and user of PO. They got caught multiple times throttling old phones to get people to upgrade from frustration.

        The monitoring part is also just as likely, as corps love big data. Sure, your habits by themselves aren't interesting, but en mass they paint a bigger picture of human habits. Especially if they can figure out what slop you are nuking.

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          >subject #647742 is microwaving cum again

  2. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    In theory it's to set alerts to let you know if someone like a child is playing with the appliance

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      >a button to prevent kids from playing with the microwave
      Have you ever tried simply turning off the wifi, sitting down with your children, and hitting them?

  3. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    I fucking HATE the internet of things. Can't wait for a solar flare to wipe out our tech overlords.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >he said,as he posted his reply.

  4. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    My range has a sabbath mode. Don’t know what it does, but saw it one time when setting the time.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      It summons Ozzy Osbourne to turn on the stove and turn it off during mealtimes because israelites can't push elevator buttons, flip lightswitches, or cook during certain holidays as getting off their ass is "work."

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        lel

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        >during certain holidays as getting off their ass is "work."
        Holy based, israelites actually take a break during holidays? I'm sick of every holiday being some shit I have to do a bunch of work and get stressed about.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      Probably auto starts the burners at a designated time. Orthodox are always looking for ways to violate the spirit of their wacky laws without violating the letter.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >during certain holidays as getting off their ass is "work."
      Holy based, israelites actually take a break during holidays? I'm sick of every holiday being some shit I have to do a bunch of work and get stressed about.

      they arent allowed to cook food because they are suppose to be fasting/resting/worshiping. A few hundred years ago they got tired of doing that so a clever rabbi created the exception to the rule: just eat food made the day before. And of course, if you are going to eat old food it has to be warm. Thus, israelites would run their ovens all day long to keep food warm. As technology improved, so did the cheat. Sabbath mode on a microwave basically runs off and on all day long so they can continue to eat like normal while still pretending to obey the silly rules they impose upon themselves.

      It's a massive waste of resources, a potential fire and health hazard, but oey gevalt you antisemetic bastid how dare you critize g_d's chosen people.

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Oven jokes aside, I just can't believe a israelite would waste electricity to leave an appliance running all day

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Proabably effectively heats the house. But heating with gas stoves can be lethal, because most gas doesn't burn cleanly and the particulates build up in the house. Unless you've got a fume vent fan running all day as well.

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        >they arent allowed to cook food because they are suppose to be fasting/resting/worshiping
        Yeah nowhere does it say you fast on shabbos. The rest of your post is nonsense conjecture.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      keeps the oven running continuously and disables the leds. also makes it so opening the door won't shut the oven off or turn the oven light on.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous
  5. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    So the fbi can plant child pornography on it

  6. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    You used to be able to play Doom on anything, pretty soon you can play multiplayer

  7. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    post the rest of your hand

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      i opened the thread to look at that hand, it's a pretty hand

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        >i opened the thread to look at that hand
        same

  8. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    So your eating habits can be tracked and added to your dossier.

  9. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    so you can download more food

  10. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    God I want that finger in my ass.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      You're going to regret that. Look at that elongated warped-joint xenomorph shit, look at that jagged-ass nail. Do you like shitting blood? Do you want him to finish by puking acid in your throat or something?

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Mmmm yea gimme all that

  11. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    corporate answer: so you can microwave things from your phone if you are some how retarded enough to put something in the microwave without turning it on. Its super convient!!!!!!!11

    actual answer: to spy on you and give corporations the ability to brick your devices remotely without your consent

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      I want to be able to microwave food from 1000 miles away using The Internet

  12. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >Why does my microwave connect to the web?
    How else would the built-in listening device transmit the audio files back to the Chinese government?

  13. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    It is so the government can shut it off in order to ration energy once they switch everything to renewables

  14. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    gotta get the latest microwave DLC

  15. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    in case your microwave is connected with a crime, the police can disable physical inputs and make it drive itself with your food directly to the police station

  16. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous
    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      How do I doug faster?

  17. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    So it can spy on you

  18. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    It’s like cars. They shove as many unnecessary features as they can so you need to pay more, but now it comes with spying integrated and you have to pay for it.

  19. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    It's sending photos of you to the NSA. Put some tape over its built-in webcam.

  20. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    It wouldn't if you cleaned the spiders out of it.

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