Could any one of you dense motherfrickers teach me how to bake bread?

Could any one of you dense motherfrickers teach me how to bake bread?

Pic related, it is what I want to learn to make from scratch you idiot
Also, general baking thread, show me your fricking skills

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  1. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    ChainBaker
    He has fundamentals and cold ferment recipes that are impossible to frick up

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      I won't lie to you bro, as simple as making bread seems, it also seems just as easy to frick up. I made pizza dough from scratch and it came out... decent I guess

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Oh I know I used to work at a bakery
        I wish I had ChainBaker back in the day, I had an angry depressed Frenchman that used me like a chattel slave
        I even caught him stealing from the tip jar, he said he was just moving it to the register "to keep it safe for me"

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Never trust the French, not even once

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            Anon
            ...
            I have news for you
            ...
            I am French
            It's OK I can pass as an American, we can be sneaky like that

            • 4 weeks ago
              Anonymous

              I thought europe wus no gunz.

            • 4 weeks ago
              Anonymous

              Owning a gun doesn’t make you a pretend american, but I can respect the effort, frenchie.

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        you will definitely frick up your first or maybe even first few loaves in some way, everybody does, it's just part of the process of making good loaves
        they'll probably still taste good though
        if you need a variety to start with, I would recommend french boule

  2. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >Flour
    >Salt
    >Yeast or starter
    >Water
    >Oven
    >Dutch oven
    I started baking bread maybe two months ago and the very first loaf i made turned out perfect and have been since.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >Forgetting sugar

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        You can make plenty of bread without sugar

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          I wasn't familiar with your game anon my apologies

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        i just use a teaspoon or two of sugar with my sourdough starter to get it to be more active, it seems to help

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        >Could any one of you dense motherfrickers teach me how to bake bread?
        Mix flour water yeast and salt.
        Wait 20 min + (in fridge)
        Fold the dough couple times
        Wait 20 min + (in fridge again)
        Fold the dough couple times
        Wait 40 min (until double in volume at room temp or slightly higher)
        Degas, form, shape,
        Wait 30 minutes (until finger poke test leave slight dimple and bounces off slowly, or 1.5-1.8x in size) and pre-heat oven to 230-250C
        Score bread with blade
        Put into oven. Put boiling water in metal bowl for vapor.
        Spray bread with water. or don't spray. Makes more crusty.
        Wait until 95C inside
        Done.

        Not needed. But you can add. In japanese bread they put frickton of sugar. In baguette - none.

  3. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Frick you. Go learn some shit and get some skills and post your own fricking bread. Than maybe we'll respect you and share how we do it. Until then, frick off. Flour yeast water salt, b***h. Figure it out.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      SOUNDS TO ME LIKE YOU DON'T KNOW HOW TO BAKE BREAD

  4. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    ?si=Ktn_4wJ-PwAnJQgl
    Watch this video and you can't fail
    Pic related is my first time following his recipe and also my first loaf I ever did

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Here’s the first bread recipe I ever did. https://youtu.be/77XBmmfVd8Q?si=G2SAtl5SWzkD7jZk
      Super easy and it’s pretty similar to this video’s recipe
      except in my video you don’t have to listen to a metrosexual speak.

  5. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Whole wheat bread is stupid easy, so easy I use volume measurements
    >1tsp salt
    >1tsp yeast
    >1tsp sugar
    >1.5 cup of warm water
    *mix and let sit for a few minutes to make sure that yeast is alive
    >3 cups whole wheat flour
    *mix together in bowl using a flexible spatula into a ball
    *cover bowl with reynolds wrap and wait 1 hour
    *fold expanded dough back into a ball with spatula
    *re-cover for 2 hours
    *turn on oven to 450 and heat up dutch oven
    *get dough ball, fold it into a ball again and put it [on parchment paper] into dutch oven with lid on for 35 minutes
    *take off dutch oven lid and keep baking for 5 minutes
    *remove from oven and let cool then eat

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      I get the first expansion, but why the second? Doesn't refolding it take away whatever fluffy progress the first one did?
      >air bubbles
      So putting it back to square one...?

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        The "fluffy" proccess as you put it happens when you bake the bread as the pockets of gas made by the yeast fill with steam. This is called the crumb. The proofing proccess is all about the fermentation done by the yeast. To achieve this and still maintain a good product you need to degas the dough. Otherwise you end up with over-levened dough that deflares luke a baloon because the internal gluten structures are too thin.
        Also I love how no one has mentioned anything about all the different kinds of yeast.

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          >different kinds of yeast
          All I got is Regular store bought commercial yeast and whatever is growing in my sourdough goop. Redpill me on yeast varieties

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            veganal yeast.

  6. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Grandma :^)

  7. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Quick question before I give you my advice: Are any of your grandmothers still alive?
    This is very important.

  8. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    This is the only recipe you'll need, OP. Only has four ingredients, makes more dough than you'll need so you can bake fresh bread throughout the week, and you can technically have a fresh loaf made from scratch and completely baked within four hours.

    https://www.kingarthurbaking.com/recipes/no-knead-crusty-white-bread-recipe

    Once you get it down, I like to make fresh rolls for things like pulled pork or sandwiches by putting some oregano or other herbs in the dough before the final rise, then add some fresh grated cheese (gruyere or cheddar) before it goes in the oven.

  9. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Soft breads and big loaves are shit. Make a very wet dough, spread it into long strips, and bake crisp

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >its not real bread if it's not a crystalline entity that goes terminally stale 30 seconds after being cut
      Frick off. Bread should have oil and sugar so it tastes better and lasts for more than 2 days.

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        >Bread should have oil
        maybe
        >sugar
        it turns them into sweetbread
        >so it tastes better
        You'd not want sugary bread for sandwich. Its awful.
        >and lasts for more than 2 days
        Even if you use yudane/tongzhong scalded flour thing, it isn't gonna last more than 3-4 days.
        Adding sugar and oil doesn't really help it, starch would still form crystals in 2 days. Maybe it won't get as rock hard as flour-water-yeast-salt bread but still it would be pretty meh/10.
        What's the point of baking bread at home if you wanna leave it for more than 2 days anyway? Buy hyper-processed sandwich bread product with frickton of preservatives and enzymes that digest it before you have a chance.
        Not to mention you can revive stale (real) bread to 90% new condition by microwaving it for 30 seconds or so?

        Anyway. Its your bread. Like in Linux, you do what you want.
        I personally make both simple bread (like baguette) and japanese milk bread (enriched sugary-buttery nearly brioche), because I can't decide what i want.

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          I bake once a week so I want my bread to be good at least that long. Enrichment definitely helps with shelf life. I also share some with others and for schedule reasons they frequently won't get it until 3 or 4 days. I mostly just work through cookbooks cover to cover so I make all different types but a lot of times with the rustic style breads I wind up turning a sizeable amount of what I make into breadcrumbs or making bread pudding or something like that to cope with the precipitous drop in quality after a couple days.

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            Idk, i'd just bake smaller portions more frequently. Toaster ovens are perfect for this, plus you don't have to worry about killing it with water vapor as it is just $40 or so.

            I get the first expansion, but why the second? Doesn't refolding it take away whatever fluffy progress the first one did?
            >air bubbles
            So putting it back to square one...?

            >I get the first expansion, but why the second?
            You should understand first why does it become fluffy.
            Bread becomes fluffy due to fermentation (i.e. yeast farts), and oven spring (i.e. yeast farts expand due to heat).
            By deflating dough after first rise, you strengthen and tension the gluten, and distribute air which makes yeast go faster.
            Without this, bread would do exactly the same thing as overproofed bread, won't get that much of oven spring and would end up being dense.
            I think that second raise time is one of the most time-critical stages in breadmaking. Nothing else affects final product as much. Wait too much - gluten becomes weak and deflates in the oven. Wait too little, and you get weird bubbles and dense areas.

            The "fluffy" proccess as you put it happens when you bake the bread as the pockets of gas made by the yeast fill with steam. This is called the crumb. The proofing proccess is all about the fermentation done by the yeast. To achieve this and still maintain a good product you need to degas the dough. Otherwise you end up with over-levened dough that deflares luke a baloon because the internal gluten structures are too thin.
            Also I love how no one has mentioned anything about all the different kinds of yeast.

            >Also I love how no one has mentioned anything about all the different kinds of yeast.
            Because there isn't much difference between dry stuff and fresh stuff... Sourdough starter is whole different story and idk how it works because i didn't bother making one lol.
            As for dry vs fresh (cake) yeast... In theory they should be the same, as they have exactly the same type of fungi in there.
            But in the reality I've found out is that fresh yeast is a bit more predictable, and bread gets slightly better smell.
            Also I think fresh yeast is easier to work with compared to dry stuff. Idk. Use whatever you can get. Fresh yeast is apparently hard to come by in the US.
            Other thing is price, I think that all dry yeast is produces by lesaffre, and fresh yeast is produced by much more companies, which means fresh stuff is cheaper.
            Oh, right. Fresh yeast has a limited lifespan. Dry yeast lasts longer.

            • 4 weeks ago
              Anonymous

              >second raise tim
              final raise, because sometimes u do tripple raise due to autolyse or whatever.

  10. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Get pic related and start doing these, you'll be good in no time

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      I watched his course.
      https://www.wondrium.com/artisan-bread-making

  11. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Just recently bought my first oven.
    I learned most of what I know about baking from this channel.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      That's some new level of autism.
      IMHO it's all about result vs effort, and pre-ferments is too much effort.

  12. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    If the inside of the bread is slightly sticky, it's under-cooked right?

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      probably.

  13. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >made chainbaker's focaccia recipe using the coil fold and it turned out great.
    >made it using the regular fold and it didn't turn out as great.
    Is the coil fold method necessary or did I just not let it proof enough?

  14. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Why are you so mad?

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