How the hell do you milk a plant?

How the hell do you milk a plant?

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  1. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    By squeezing its breasts, dumbass.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      This
      I squeezed my little lavender's breasts but nothing came out probably because she's only 11 years old

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Lavender milk is shit anyway. Lilac milk though, that’s good shit. And lilacs almost always have those cute inverted nipples.

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          My neighbour has a beautiful little Jasmine, when he's not at home i often visit it.
          I like sniffing her and pinching her little buds. I tried to give her some beer and get her drunk but she looked shriveled so i stopped.
          I feel like one of these days I'm going to lose control and steal her away from my neighbour.

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            Based. Just remember Jasmines are delicate, so dig her up with a shovel instead of yanking her out by the roots.

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            Based. Just remember Jasmines are delicate, so dig her up with a shovel instead of yanking her out by the roots.

            >neighbour brings home a young hibiscus and just leaves unattended on the porch
            >talk to her for a few minutes each day because neighbour never seems to give her any attention
            >talk becomes flirty
            >occasionally caress her petals, but it never goes beyond that
            >one day notice she’s starting to wilt
            >butthole neighbour hasn’t been feeding or watering her
            >frick it, she’s coming home with me
            >a week later and she’s thriving, sez she’s the happiest she’s ever been in her short life
            >talk becomes VERY flirty
            >she hasn’t even bloomed yet, but neither of us can restrain ourselves
            >peel back her petals
            >”her” stamen’s twice as big as mine
            mfw

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        nah, 11 should be old enough. you sure you impregnated it properly beforehand?

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Well I'm pretty sure i did it right
          I first got everything out of the way, then laid her on a table and positioned myself near her, then I grabbed her private bits and released some of the spore in it.
          I did it while she was blooming

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Ok, but how do you get the plant pregnant first?

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Stick your pistol in its pistil, but don’t be like the freaks in this thread and try to pollinate her before she blooms.

  2. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    The same way you get butter out of Apples you moron.

  3. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I can teach you how to milk a poppy.

  4. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    It's called sap dumbass

  5. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    For me, it's pic related. I just eat it with my hands like an animal

  6. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I think I like almond milk and rice milk better than conventional milk. Just not a big milk drinker to be honest. Oat milk is always awful though.

  7. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous
  8. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    if you have to ask you can't afford it.

  9. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >traditionally cultured
    So it has microbes? Are vegans against eating any animal products including single cell animals?

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Some are. "Vegan" is a vague term with many types of adherence. It's just a little more precise than "vegetarian." No eggs and milk are the only real unifying factors, and even then some people mean no commercial eggs and milk. And there are those who are vegan in everyday life, but will eat anything including meat if it is given to them at a gathering. It's a personal choice, not a religion.

  10. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >take a bottle Culinaly
    >Some plants bleed white liquid
    >snap stems and collect the liquid into your bottle
    >collect enough for a drink
    >ENJOY

  11. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >ingredients: cultures
    do they even do anything in that swill?

  12. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Almond milks and the like are not only an overpriced scam they are also really bad for you.

  13. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Good grief, this is what I hate about you city folks, y'all never seen a plant milker before

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