If your bread looks like a xenomorph egg did you do it right

If your bread looks like a xenomorph egg did you do it right

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  1. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Put that entire loaf of bread up your ass. Put it way all the way up in there and then hatch it like a bread egg

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      ngl sometimes I want to frick my dough

  2. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I think you underproofed it, until you prove otherwise with an interior shot. Excessive oven spring created that torn surface effect and excessive 'earing'. As such, the best thing I can recommend is that you cram it.

  3. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    How are air fryers for baking bread? My oven sucks dick, if I could just throw a lump of dough in my air fryer and have bread that'd be neat.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Just get a dutch oven and put the bread inside.
      You cannot fail.

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Pretty much this.

        Peak pizza stone bread with controlled humidity is better, but that shit’s hard and you can be literally moronic and make good bread with
        >place in bowl, roll gets swole
        Strategies dutch ovens enable.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      It largely depends on the form factor (air fryers come in many different shapes, do you have enough room for bread?), but as the haters always point out, an air fryer is just a convection toaster oven, and a convection toaster oven is just a small convection oven, so YES, you can do this, it will just require some experimentation with the temperature/time, also understand that your little plastic EZ Bake Air Fryer is not going to hold/retain heat the same way as a full-size oven, and here is another bonus comma splice for reading my blog post.

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        This guy fricks

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Thanks for the kind sentiment, but no, the dude making "dinner rolls for 1" in his teflon poison air fryer ain't getting that much action tbh famalampai.

  4. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I prefer a loaf shaped like this.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Scorechad, how can I get cuts that are deep and long without the blade catching on the dough and dragging and deforming the surface? Fresh razors don't do it, my regular well-sharpened knives don't do it. I'm about ready to order surgical scalpels off Amazon at this point.

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        What I've been doing for a while and did for that loaf is baking for 6 minutes, taking it out of the oven and then scoring. It gets a consistently good ear like in that photo.

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Interesting, worth a try. Haven't seen that recommended in any of my books, you get that from somewhere or is it an original invention?

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            I saw it while scrolling through some social media shorts once, decided I'd give it a try, had great results and have done it ever since.

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          If the inside of the bread is slightly sticky, it's under-cooked right?

          Interesting, it's in a dutch oven before and after the scoring?

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            >sticky
            Very likely not done, but pictures would help. You know what normal bread feels like. It can be Moist and stuff and if you loaded it up with cheese or something inside it could be sticky but I assume you're not moronic and could identify the cause of that.

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Just took a loaf out of the oven, these photos are how it looks doing the 6 minute score.

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            That phot was after 6 minutes before scoring and here after scoring.

            • 3 weeks ago
              Anonymous

              And here is the finished result.

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            https://i.imgur.com/wHUP5SM.jpeg

            That phot was after 6 minutes before scoring and here after scoring.

            https://i.imgur.com/i7cbCeP.jpeg

            And here is the finished result.

            Neat, thanks for the pics anon. I guess that's not a known method because it would be impractical for a baker to take out tens of loaves from the oven, score them then replace them in the oven

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        My method is cold proofing and scoring right after plopping out of its cold proofing basket, the surface is much easier to cut than if room temped. I believe a thicker layer of wheat flour when doing the final shaping can help as well.

        What I've been doing for a while and did for that loaf is baking for 6 minutes, taking it out of the oven and then scoring. It gets a consistently good ear like in that photo.

        Didn't expect to see a new score method rolling through a bread thread. You better not be fooling me anon.

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          >cold proofing
          Despite extensive memes this just doesn't work for me, maybe just my local wild yeast but I can leave my sourdough loaves in the fridge for 24+ hours and see essentially zero growth. It's not freezing, it's the usual 39F in there, just moves slow as frick. I still do it sometimes mostly just for scheduling reasons but if I do I basically have to proof it to about 90% at room temp then send it to the fridge. Just split shape and fridge is never going to work, only cope after that is to spend hours letting it come up to room temp then rise the next day. Adding more bulk ferment time barely helps either. What's wrong with my yeast?

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            39f is really damn cold, I usually don't go any lower than 42f at most.
            More sourdough %.
            Higher hydration.
            After shaping and putting doughs in proofing baskets (use them) let them sit in room temp a little longer before going in the fridge.
            Wrap them in plastic bags to retain moisture in the fridge.

            Are you getting +50% volume in the final proof?

            • 3 weeks ago
              Anonymous

              The book I'm working from (pic related) gives 39 as standard fridge temp and he does overnight cold proofs almost every time. His hydration percentages are also massive because he lives in like the mountains of arizona or some shit, somewhere early on in the book he suggests turning it down by 5-10% though the first couple bakes I didn't do this. It doesn't work despite doing all this. Baskets, bags, etc. The only part that matters is "let them go at room temp longer" because in practice, they aren't going to get any bigger in the fridge. Also per the book I'm refreshing my mother starter the day before I make a Levain then letting that go for 12+ hours then using that in the dough. My yeast or technique isn't fundamentally busted, if I just forgo the cold proof and do everything room temp it works.

              • 3 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                Have you checked so it isn't colder than it states? In any case, defy the book and turn it up a few (or even more so) degrees to see if it makes a difference. Bread is cheap and worth experimenting with. You won't spoil your milk a week faster for a 24h temporary adjustment.

              • 3 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                Yeah I have checked, 39 bang on. I started the levain for tomorrow's bread tonight and I used about twice as much of my mother as what the recipe suggested, 16g instead of 8g. We'll see if that helps.

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            Different anon here but I do a room-temp bulk proof, then shape and place in a basket, and then cold proof overnight. Once I turn it out the surface is a lot dryer and the dough itself is stiffer so you can run any old sharp nice through it without much trouble.

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            Same thing for me, all the growth is at room temp

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          If the inside of the bread is slightly sticky, it's under-cooked right?

          Interesting, it's in a dutch oven before and after the scoring?

          I was skeptical at first too, but it's worked surprisingly very well and been very consistent. Yes, I do keep it covered with steam. I use two cast irons that act as a combo-cooker, but it works fine with a dutch oven too.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      I bet that's secretly a cat

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        No, a duck

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Better for cramming

  5. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    As long as it tastes good, that's all that matters. It's just a pain in the penis to slice sometimes when it poofs up like that.

  6. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Apparently some very christian people complained when it was just one slit and somewhat looked like a vegana.
    So, H. R. Ginger made it look like some kind of cross and was very amused by this fact.
    There's a webm about this, which I am too lazy to find.

  7. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Cold final rise is a scam. Gluten gets so relaxed you get pancake. Final rise should be as fast as practical

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      That's what shaping and tucking is for, to create a taught surface as it rises even as the gluten relaxes. Also helps with scoring which oversprings it upwards better for less pancaking. I would understand if it doesn't rise up as much but calling all cold rises pancakes is silly.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      It's good for pizza dough, staying cold is great for maintaining the firmness you need for tossing and you really don't need a huge amount of proofing. If anything over is worse than under in that case, once it gets too loose and sloppy it's impossible to shape right.

      https://i.imgur.com/qFjnNYv.jpeg

      That's what shaping and tucking is for, to create a taught surface as it rises even as the gluten relaxes. Also helps with scoring which oversprings it upwards better for less pancaking. I would understand if it doesn't rise up as much but calling all cold rises pancakes is silly.

      >3 inch loaves trying to anglefraud to 5.5

      https://i.imgur.com/oYNB0LF.jpeg

      I made my first bread today

      This looks like it's probably good on the basis of apparently having oil and herbs in it and good color but it otherwise looks weird and fricked up. What recipe was this?

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        They are small at 3 inches but that's not the point. It's not a pancake and the bottom is rounded upwards nicely. The difference between cold proofing or not isn't that high.

  8. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I made my first bread today

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      looks very cakey

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Looks appetizing despite having the appearance of undercooked and/or not fermented enough but I know any fresh bread is good shit regardless.

        It's good for pizza dough, staying cold is great for maintaining the firmness you need for tossing and you really don't need a huge amount of proofing. If anything over is worse than under in that case, once it gets too loose and sloppy it's impossible to shape right.
        [...]
        >3 inch loaves trying to anglefraud to 5.5
        [...]
        This looks like it's probably good on the basis of apparently having oil and herbs in it and good color but it otherwise looks weird and fricked up. What recipe was this?

        I cooked it in glass I don’t have a Dutch oven

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Also unbleached organic flour

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Looks appetizing despite having the appearance of undercooked and/or not fermented enough but I know any fresh bread is good shit regardless.

  9. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Homemade bread seems so annoying. It takes forever to make. And then it doesn’t last more than two days before it starts going moldy. How can that possibly be worth it?

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Because it tastes 50x better than anything you'll buy in the store for less than a dollar per loaf.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      It depends on where you live. I make homemade sandwich bread and it lasts, in ziploc, for about 10 days before getting moldy. I only know this because we left some behind when we went on a 5-day trip recently and when we got home it had just started to grow mold.

  10. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >gluten
    No thanks.

  11. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >xenomorph egg
    How many of those plastic pop it things do you own???

  12. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    You know, avocados actually looks like Xenomorph eggs.

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