>Summer. >Stop drinking coffee because it's summer. >Poop gets impacted. >Pooping is a boss battle

>Summer
>Stop drinking coffee because it's summer
>Poop gets impacted
>Pooping is a boss battle
What's Culinaly's approach?

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  1. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    eat vegetables.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      This. Between vegetables and the fact that my favourite salty snack is popcorn, I get plenty of fiber in my diet.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      EWWWW GROSS!

  2. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I pour coffee down my mouthhole in the winter, and I pour it down my poophole in the summer

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      This. Coffee enemas are the best option. Preferably with cold brew, tried it with fresh pour over once and it hurt

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        >tried it with fresh pour over once and it hurt
        Plus it's really hard to find the Melitta #2 filters (the kind that fit in your asscrack).

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Never understood those. Always seemed like something some hipster jackass would come up with as a practical joke.

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          >Coffee enema
          WTF it's real. I thought you guys were just memeing.

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous
  3. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Get your gross smelly soygoy cat pictures and shit discussion OFF MY FOOD BOARD

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous
    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      have a nice day dogfricker

  4. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Iced coffee

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      it's really that simple. an unsweetened black iced coffee slaps on a hot summer day

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      https://i.imgur.com/UbwFCFg.jpeg

      it's really that simple. an unsweetened black iced coffee slaps on a hot summer day

      protip: cold brew

  5. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    This what happened to me too once i stopped having my morning goffee. Never thought it was a thing anyone else had until I read your post

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Did you do anything to adjust or did it work out on its own? For me an apple seems to start a rumble in the jungle.

      It's true. I haven't pooped in my toilet in years I think. It's either at work or in a bag and then I throw it off my balcony; I piss out my balcony too.

      Anyways, in regards to coffee and summer. Someone told me once that hot coffee during a heatwave actually cools you down. I wouldn't know since I only drink Rockstar energy drinks all day long, but I swear the day doesn't start unless I have a cup of coffee with tons of cream. Has to be piping hot too. Like if anything happens before I've had that cup, it completely derails my day. My wife even knows not to even look at me until I've handed her the used K-cup.

      Do you put the to in the bag to or is there post waddle wiping in the bathroom?

  6. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    get up at 4 AM. drink coffee earlier while it's still cool out

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      I used to start my job later so always had time after my first coffee to take a poop before going to work and was regular as frick. Since starting a new job I start earlier and have to sip coffee on way to work and its hit or miss now whether I actually go this day, tomorrow or any other day really. Plus I now do shift work so digestive stress is just part and parcel of this lifestyle I suppose.

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Dude I have been pooping at work almost every day for years. I go to work, sip my coffee at my desk while pretending to read emails then spend 15-20 minutes on the toilet looking at my phone. Then I go to the field. Sometimes I even drive my work truck back home and shit there. If you're not getting paid to poop you need a new job.

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          >Paid to poop
          Pretty based. I cant relax enough to go at work.

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Imagine the highlight of your day being of shit lmao at this pajeet cope

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            Says more about the job than the employee, really.

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            Says more about the job than the employee, really.

            lmao what's the problem? Are you guys seriously not allowed to use the bathroom at work?

            >Paid to poop
            Pretty based. I cant relax enough to go at work.

            It helps we have private single bathrooms in my office, if it were stalls I probably wouldn't be able to pull it off. I hate shitting in public bathrooms

            • 4 weeks ago
              Anonymous

              >shit goy
              Work my fields Rajesh

              • 4 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                get back to the cope cage wagie

                Reading comprehension, anon. Only one "person" you quoted dislikes getting paid to shit.

                I thought you were >implying that my job sucked so I spent all my time pooping which isn't really true, my job is pretty cool

              • 4 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                You are literally indian who taught you to speak English do not make the mistake of thinking you are human like us shitskin dalit

              • 4 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                I may work outside but I shit exclusively in toilets so not a pajeet, try a more clever insult please

              • 4 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                You’re obsession with work ethic and shit makes everyone think you’re pajeet now go back to your shit board subhuman

                [...]

              • 4 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                Work ethic? You're the one seething that I dare to take work time to shit. I honestly don't know why you're so upset about my shitting habits, it's pretty weird but if it makes your day wage slaving away more satisfactory then that's cool. By the way I'm "working" right now I've made like $30 in the time I've been posting this morning

              • 4 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                >I’ve made like $30 in the time I've been posting this morning
                Fricking kek top wagie pajeet cope

                [...]
                [...]
                [...]
                Stop using words if you don't know what they mean. You're trying too hard to fit in, and it's clear to everyone.

                Disgusting samegayging by a hard working pajeet

              • 4 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                >I've made like $30 in the time I've been posting this morning
                Are you running a lemonade stand?

              • 4 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                Less posting and perhaps more cleaning toilets saar

              • 4 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                Shitting on company time is based as frick. I "shit" for 15 mins every hour. One lady tried to complain and I pulled the IBS card. Now they can't do anything or else muh discrimination

            • 4 weeks ago
              Anonymous

              Reading comprehension, anon. Only one "person" you quoted dislikes getting paid to shit.

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            >shit goy
            Work my fields Rajesh

            You are literally indian who taught you to speak English do not make the mistake of thinking you are human like us shitskin dalit

            You’re obsession with work ethic and shit makes everyone think you’re pajeet now go back to your shit board subhuman [...]

            Stop using words if you don't know what they mean. You're trying too hard to fit in, and it's clear to everyone.

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            >shit goy
            Work my fields Rajesh

            You are literally indian who taught you to speak English do not make the mistake of thinking you are human like us shitskin dalit

            You’re obsession with work ethic and shit makes everyone think you’re pajeet now go back to your shit board subhuman [...]

            >I’ve made like $30 in the time I've been posting this morning
            Fricking kek top wagie pajeet cope
            [...]
            Disgusting samegayging by a hard working pajeet

            >Disgusting samegayging by a hard working pajeet
            Yeah, I'll say.

            • 4 weeks ago
              Anonymous

              While you’re slaving away in the fields like a medieval peasant for no sex I’m sexually harassing your women and making more white single mothers than you can circumvent how does it feel being at the bottom of the beta male virgin ladder

              • 4 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                Except I'm not slaving anywhere, I'm shitting on company time and getting paid for it.
                I get that you creatures consider toilets some kind of punishment, but that's why everone else on the planet is repulsed by you.

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          It's true. I haven't pooped in my toilet in years I think. It's either at work or in a bag and then I throw it off my balcony; I piss out my balcony too.

          Anyways, in regards to coffee and summer. Someone told me once that hot coffee during a heatwave actually cools you down. I wouldn't know since I only drink Rockstar energy drinks all day long, but I swear the day doesn't start unless I have a cup of coffee with tons of cream. Has to be piping hot too. Like if anything happens before I've had that cup, it completely derails my day. My wife even knows not to even look at me until I've handed her the used K-cup.

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            man with some of the cursed posts on this board I can never tell if you guys are being serious or not

  7. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    how fat are you when you can’t enjoy a warm beverage when the weather is also warm

  8. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    First time I heard anyone say they stop drinking coffee just because it's summer

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >Florida
      >customer comes in complaining about how hot it is and orders a coffee
      I mean I get desert people drink hot drinks but they also wear long robes and hats

  9. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    make iced coffee before going to bed, you throwback gorilla Black person, this is the most moronic complaint currently on this board

  10. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    fiber and pre/probiotics. that's easy for me cuz my diet revolves around dropping the most epic deuces whenever I can. also, I don't really drink alcohol cuz that fricks up my gut biome, and omit beef cuz it makes be constipated.

  11. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    i've got the poop crayon effect. i hate it, never have a clean ass. time to buy a bidet. i'm afraid to strain real hard to push the last out and get a hernia again

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      You need to adjust your diet once I got back to eating clean and cutting, my crayon ass went away I don't think I use more than one set of toilet paper wipes

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      That went away for me once I started consuming more probiotics and fiber.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      stop drinking or eat more fiber (bread or beans or like salad or some shit)

  12. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >ctrl+f psyllum
    >0 results
    It's truly a miracle food and I will keep evangelizing it. Use a flavored version like Metamucil if you're a pussy like me, but there are completely neutral versions too.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >Metamucil
      enjoy your aspartame

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        I use the "premium blend" that uses stevia just because it's completely sugar free, but there's not really anything wrong with aspartame anyway

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          >literally gives you cancer
          >no it’s okay
          I hate this board again

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            I guarantee there are several things you consume or come in contact with every day that are more carcinogenic than aspartame

            • 4 weeks ago
              Anonymous

              Yes interacting with you has been the most carcinogenic facet of my day

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          you assumed that I put aspartame in a negative light because of the social implications and conventional sarcasm that is used here.

          all I wrote was enjoy your aspartame, you got defensive because you're a homosexual and assumed that was an attack. go to sleep and don't wake up

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            >i will do whatever it takes to win an argument
            Kek enjoy having no sex

            • 4 weeks ago
              Anonymous

              https://i.imgur.com/zwL33ei.gif

              >you assumed that I put aspartame in a negative light because of the social implications and conventional sarcasm that is used here.
              >all I wrote was enjoy your aspartame, you got defensive because you're a homosexual and assumed that was an attack. go to sleep and don't wake up
              I didn't assume anything, you assumed that I used the version with aspartame and I clarified that I did not but that I didn't have a problem with aspartame either way

              you assumed that I assumed that you assumed assuming assumptions

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            >you assumed that I put aspartame in a negative light because of the social implications and conventional sarcasm that is used here.
            >all I wrote was enjoy your aspartame, you got defensive because you're a homosexual and assumed that was an attack. go to sleep and don't wake up
            I didn't assume anything, you assumed that I used the version with aspartame and I clarified that I did not but that I didn't have a problem with aspartame either way

            • 4 weeks ago
              Anonymous

              KISSUME?

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            >i use X
            your Y homosexual
            >my X doesn't have Y
            >>FRICK YOU REEEE
            lol

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Psyllium is all contaminated with lead

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      I only take pure psyllium husks. Usually around 3 to 4 tablespoons mixed with 400 mL of water. I mix it and down it so it's still liquid and drink another glass of water right after. My shits are made from heaven, I sometimes feel concave after I hit the toilet in the morning with all the shit that gets out. It's really miracle stuff.

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        When do you drink it and when do you poop? At night after ur last meal and poop in the morning? Thats what ive been doing with metamucil pills

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          I usually drink it in the evening and poop the next morning at around 7 like clockwork.

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            Do you eat brekkie before ur morning poop or just coffee? I feel like i trigger it better with just coffee on empty

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        >3-4 tablespoons
        I only been adding 1/2 tsp to my shakes. kek, guess its why I dont really notice anything.

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          This seems to be the sweet spot for me. Please keep in mind I drink around 800 ml of water with it. You need a good amount of water for the psyllium to swell in your stomach. If it's too little it might cause the opposite effect and cause a slight blockage.

  13. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Have you tried slinking?

  14. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    [...]

  15. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    A megadose of vitamin c will give you the runs, magnesium does the same thing at high doses.

  16. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Good thread

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Kys

  17. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >stop drinking coffee because it’s summer
    gayest shit I ever heard

  18. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Cofeve is wonderful all times of the year

  19. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Make iced coffee from instant powder

  20. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous
  21. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Eat some prunes on your way out the door in the morning

  22. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >Stop drinking coffee because it's summer

  23. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    eat oatmeal for breakfast.
    also, drink coffee. there's literally no reason not to.

  24. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Cold brew you simpleton

  25. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Not summer yet technically here it still gets get below 50 at night.

  26. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Drink cold brew and increase your fiber intake.

  27. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Sauerkraut.

  28. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    just ice your coffee baka

  29. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Huh?

  30. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Magnesium supplements
    Don’t start out at a mega-dose like 500g

  31. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    taco bell but I ironically
    I think there must be some forbidden bacteria in there because I crave it once a month and I shit my brains out every time
    the bell lives in my gut biome

  32. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    coffee has nothing to do with shitting.

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