>takes 15 minutes just to get rid of all the inedible bits with a knife
>half of it is thorns or core and inedible
>then you have to cook it or it acts as a bio-weapon against your mouth
>canned pineapple tastes like a pale imitation
>dried pineapple is far too sweet
I love you pineapple, but we have a difficult relationship.
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>then you have to cook it or it acts as a bio-weapon against your mouth
Pretty sure you have to eat like the entire pineapple or more before that starts to matter. The spikes from bad or greedy skinning will frick with your mouth way earlier.
>Pretty sure you have to eat like the entire pineapple or more before that starts to matter
the thing I forgot to mention as well is that you barely get 2 servings out of a single pineapple
I was going to counter by asking how many servings you get out of an apple, orange, cherry, pinecone, blueberry, pear, banana, etc., but I guess those plants actually grow noticeably more than one yield.
What other fruit plants grow one fruit. And also, what's the growth time comparison on pineapples vs multi-yield fruit plants?
fricking way too long
pineapple has probably the worst yield of any fruit
Your mom has the worst yield, that's why you're here.
Technically pineapples are a merged inflorescence, meaning that it's a bunch of fruits fused together, so it's not totally fair to the plant or its evolution to say it's just "1 fruit" at the size the whole collective is, compared to something like say raspberries which do the same thing. Its merging is where the cool pattern on pineapples come from, but also where we get some of the annoyance of the 'eyes' and tough skin and thorns - but imagine if they didn't merge, and we got a bunch of smaller fruits that, while still tasting good, wasted even more of their outside on that protection and was an even greater pain to prepare in any large amount. It'd be a contender with pomegranites for most annoying fruit to prepare.
Pineapples are pretty neat and worth the effort if you're not preparing them every week or something. A good once every now and then treat.
Pomegranates are easy. I can... shuck? Is that the word you'd use here? I'm gonna use shuck–a pomegranate in under a minute. Look up videos for the technique.
The best thing for pomegranates is to cut them up then submerge them in water then they float up and can be floated up and caught in your hands or with some scoop. Easy and simple as.
Just rememember the scoop like from Andromeda strain.
I couldn't come up with any competition, and regular searches for once completely failed me, so I present to you this answer from my very first use of ChatGPT:
>Plants with the lowest yields of fruit per plant tend to include:
>1. Banana Trees: Despite their large size, banana plants typically produce only one bunch of bananas per plant.
>2. Pineapples: Each pineapple plant usually yields just one fruit at a time.
>3. Coconut Palms: Coconut trees produce relatively few coconuts per year compared to their size and lifespan.
>4. Avocado Trees: Avocado trees have irregular fruiting patterns and often produce relatively few avocados per season, especially when young.
>5. Date Palms: Date palms produce a moderate number of fruits per cluster, but they typically require many years to reach maturity and start fruiting.
>These plants often have long growth cycles and produce fruit infrequently compared to other crops.
I think it's obvious that all of those plants in practice way outproduce pineapples, so it appears that they very may well stand alone. It's actually surprising they're as inexpensive as they are, now that I'm thinking about it. Banana yield isn't actually all that impressive either, considering the size of the plant, and yet despite being purely an import those things cost damn near nothing.
the ai is moronic. I can explain more after my AA meeting
Eh, pineapples are one of those plants that you can re-plant a portion of for technically infinite fruits given you're fine waiting for your next pineapple.
>homie discovers plants having seeds
I've heard the ducks at the park are free, its true, I have 13 at home already
I mean you just toss the end of the pineapple in the ground and it grows into a new tree, no need to fish out seeds.
Yeah. The guy probably thinks pineapple grows on trees.
Pinaples take 21 days for grow then regrow every seven 7 days
I get the reference. : )
It's 14 days troony
Poser
I got the reference, even if it was incorrect, you dick-infested wiener-gobbler.
As did you, clearly.
It wouldnt be a funny meme if I got it right, homo
Take a look at the rest of the spelling and grammar on the post
It's clearly a moronpost crafted purposefully as it is
Bananas are sort of similar. Each stalk only ever produces one cluster of bananas. But it grows rhizomes or something similar so there are always other stalks constantly growing up unlike pineapples.
get the jumbo pineapples bubby. I get enough to overfill a 6 cup/48 oz tub of tupperware I have, and I'm not even conservative with the carving. Granted that's two servings for me, but for someone that's not a fat frick it's probably more like six.
yeh I ate a whole one once and my lips started bleeding
Reminded me of this goofball eating a whole one with icy hot on his balls for some reason https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7RrQc4ZAi_o&t=36s
The outer edge is the best flesh, cutting most of it off to save a few minutes seems counterproductive.
I love pimeabble she's my friend. I was growing pure golds and Brazilian sunsets and I don't know what happened but after six years I had a piebabble that was very slightly red and tasted like honey
Whoa that’s pretty cool, why’d you stop growing them? I think it would be awesome to develop your own cultivar of something.
;_; , you just want some yummy tropical flavor.
i got evicted and live in the woods now. I think someone has one of my old plants or at least a top. I'm just not sure, biologically, how the hybrid occurred, because I was propagating them vegetatively so they shouldn't have had a chance for cross-pollination. but I definitely noticed a chance across several generations of fruit colour, size, edible flesh etc
> i got evicted and live in the woods now
How’s that working out anon, you have a proper structure or straight camping? Just curious
Pineapplez vary quite a bit even from the store, this one I picked up tasted like coconut, never found one like it since.
it's been a bit shit at times with all the rain we've had. I have a hammock under a tarp which stays mostly dry except when there's constant rain or when it starts coming in sideways. I picked a spot that happens to be next to a pretty well-resourced church and they've been helping me out and I help cook meals there once a week which gives me a reason to be sober some of the time.
ive had that setup camping in a storm, was impossible to sleep and then my hammock split right down the middle when I did. stay warm out there brah
if you want to play a game of chess add me on chess.com ChurningGrindset
That looks like something that the mescalaros might partake in.
It doesn't take more than 2 or 3 minutes to slice off the top, bottom, skin, quarter, cut off core bits, cut into w.e shapes you want. Cubes. Sticks. Wedges. W.e. go learn how on YouTube or tik tok or w.e you dork.
my fine motor skills are poor
does that cause you to post moronic shit purely by chance?
What do you mean by bio weapon?
pineapple juice has protein dissolving enzymes. you can use it in marinades to make meat tender and disgustingly sweet.
if you have eye floaters apparently eating pineapple helps reduce their size by dissolving them over time
What's going on with the homie in the back?
it only looks small and red because the distance, along with the expansion of the observable universe causes the light reflected by that normal-colored normal-sized pineapple to be redshifted. pineapples this red are very far away and some of them are almost as old as the universe itself.
by the time its light reaches earth, the pineapple will most likely already be eaten.
I learned a lot today, thank you.
ah of course, how stupid of me
Not ripe yet. I've a neighbour here in Delaware who grew pineapples one year. The go from green to red to green again to yellow. Weird fricking stoplight fruit
Pineapples are also annoying because they're a fruit that doesn't ripen once it's removed from the plant. Since unriped ones are commonly picked and shipped for practical/economic reasons, you often only have lower quality ones available.
>Pineapples in Delaware
the world is a wondrous place
The severity of the effect is highly individual. I can plow through pineapple and kiwi both without ill effect.
Neat technique, I wonder if that's really advantageous over my naive approach of purely vertical cuts, just deep enough to remove the hard bits of the pits. Will have to remember to try this.
in Delaware
>the world is a wondrous place
I've seen them growing in Brooklyn. No greenhouse or anything, either.
The spiral cut is probably 50:50 for the efficiency and just for the fact that it looks neat. For true ananasmaxxing they sell these things.
My bf likes pineapple, if you know what I mean ^-^
pineapple slices are in the oven
then they need to chill
THIS IS ALL SO TEDIOUS
warm tip: don't try to grab the frying pan holding the pineapple right out of the oven to tip the pineapple into the container to chill them
🙁
I eat the core.
Moi aussi.
Dat fibre.
15 minutes just to get rid of all the inedible bits with a knife
fearing about waste too much. Buy bigger pineapples and slice away with abandon. The regular price at Aldi is literally $2, and $3 at Publix. It's not precious gold. I find it best to cut it in spears or rings, and then finish off any edges needing a trim
I cut it into spears then my son and I nibble at the skins. The missus thinks that's poor people shit but I just think it's fun, particularly if you've got a good, sweet pineapple
Maybe you are a bit allergic to pineapple. I was most of my life until I found out recently that I no longer get that fuzzy feeling in my mouth when eating it. It's probably my favourite fruit since I found out.
>Insanely cheap for whatever reason
>Absolutely delicious when ripe
Only downside really is the hassle of peeling but it's a price well paid for a ripe, sweet and tropical tasting fruit in my opinion.
The feeling of fruzzy fruit? You should seek medical attention.
Just bite into it like how youre supposed to eat fruits
Lol
Imagine doing all of this unnecessary work just to NOT eat parts of the food that were MEANT to be eated
You are an absolutly fool
no
>acts as a bio-weapon against your mouth
Same with kiwi, what the frick is their problem? Why isn't this talked about more?
>he cooks his pineapple
You could use it to help you digest meat and dairy, but no, you're a clown instead
>or it acts as a bio-weapon against your mouth
thats the good part tho.
>Cut top and bottom off
>Cut skin off like how you'd cut corn off the cob
>Quarter lengthwise and slice off the piece of core on all 4 pieces
>Cut into chunks
>Put in air tight container in the fridge
Wowie was that fricking hard!
how weak are you, I can eat a normal serving of pineapple without my mouth hurting
pineapples are like that so animals don't eat it, but then humans came and the game changed
they're like that because they're a fricking bromeliad which is why they produce bromelain. it's there to digest protein that falls into the cupped crown of a bromeliad. it's not there to stop you from eating it, it's there so the plant can eat you