step one - hold can firmly
step 2 - lightly butter the outside of the can
step # 3 - cram cram cram!
.3a ) quickly tighten the sphincter popping of the top of the can
5 - release
Take a spon and grind it with great force against a small area of just under a centimeter. Eventually, you’ll pop a hole in the can. Shove a knife or something in there and rip off the lid
This once happened to me with a tin of tomatos.
I was hungry and had no patience for this bullshit so I chimped out and smashed the lid in with the handle of a knife. The tomato exploded out of the can all over my kitchen, it was on the walls, in the ceiling all over the windows, everywhere.
I don't recommend trying to smash it in.
This made me laugh harder than it should have. I've been making like 40 orders of braised veal shanks at work, have everything ready, and then the fricking can opener breaks when I'm trying to open a little can of tomato paste. At that point you literally grab anything you have, even if it's a rusty cleaver and a fricking mallet. Just mash the top of the can into the corner of your faux granite counter top and then caveman it the rest of the way. Seriously, how could you possibly look at the op imagine and think, "yeah, I guess I'll just starve now"?
>I've been making like 40 orders of braised veal shanks at work, have everything ready, and then the fricking can opener breaks when I'm trying to open a little can of tomato paste
MacDonald's? Not sure what other restaurant uses canned tomato paste for braised veal...
YES! How did you know? We caramelize the tomato paste after sweating the onions and celery before adding a little flour and deglazing with some white wine and marsala. I can't legally tell you what we do next, but those are the first few steps in making the secret sauce that goes on the big macs.
>slept for the first two days >went to wal-mart >downloaded video games and played them for five minutes before stopping >applied for a job >read harry potter fanfiction >had 5 or 6 baths >boiled some nectarines >my dad called, he's doing alright
well a new chapter of prince of slytherin came out which is always exciting, we're almost to the part where Lily Potter goes on trial for murdering Vernon Dursley(obviously harry is going to pay for her legal defence, even if he's not fond of his mom, he's honourable enough to step in since the vengeance murder was on his behalf).
Sorry bud there’s nothing you can do, probably have to throw it away. Unless you live somewhere where there are bears or gators. They may have enough bite force to open that can with their teeth. If so, just toss the can into your backyard and hopefully one will come along and eat the ravioli and then it won’t go to waste. You’re welcome
People say canned pasta is disgusting but tbh I enjoy from time to time. It's definitely not something you should eat every day but as a quick easy lunch? It's perfect.
>zoomers too stupid to open a can >run to Culinaly
You can do this shit with a spoon. There are youtube guides. So many survivalists have found a frickton of ways.
Can opener you stupid sexy troony
I don't have a can opener. I have scissors if that helps
dont use scissors.
give up on the boiardi for now
I'd use those scissors to cut your losses and order a big moronic pizza you silly goose
Use the scissors to give yourself SRS
step one - hold can firmly
step 2 - lightly butter the outside of the can
step # 3 - cram cram cram!
.3a ) quickly tighten the sphincter popping of the top of the can
5 - release
bon apaptit
>quickly tighten the sphincter
name one of the many sphincters within your body you can voluntarily control
my ravioli holi
>he can't control his sphincters
ngmi.
How the frick do you not have a can opener? I don't think I've ever been without at least 3 can openers. Somehow they just accumulate.
Take a spon and grind it with great force against a small area of just under a centimeter. Eventually, you’ll pop a hole in the can. Shove a knife or something in there and rip off the lid
>I don't have a can opener.
NGMI
Rub thr top against concrete. It sands it down for you
stomp on it with the power of frenship
It's a pre-cut tab can. You can just bash it with a small blunt object and it will open.
This, this is monkey tier
Email the chef, they'll probably give you a free coupon
This. Box it up and ship it to them next-day with a polite note and they'll send you a new one.
hammer lid
Use a can opener if you have one. If not, get a knife and hammer it in where the clip would have pushed and then pry it open.
>pushed
*pulled
just chuck the can in a lathe and cut the cans top off 1mm below the lid
Swiss army knife can opener.
push a piece in with butter knife and then lever it off
This, but instead of the knife, go with the screwdriver, then fricking stab it into the lid.
Go hard or go home, but try to not sever your finger off.
Heat the can in a pot on the stove, it will open
This once happened to me with a tin of tomatos.
I was hungry and had no patience for this bullshit so I chimped out and smashed the lid in with the handle of a knife. The tomato exploded out of the can all over my kitchen, it was on the walls, in the ceiling all over the windows, everywhere.
I don't recommend trying to smash it in.
Have you tried glueing the tab back on?
suffer
Just microwave it moron lol
Much better to use a conventional oven. One hour at 450 should do the trick.
This made me laugh harder than it should have. I've been making like 40 orders of braised veal shanks at work, have everything ready, and then the fricking can opener breaks when I'm trying to open a little can of tomato paste. At that point you literally grab anything you have, even if it's a rusty cleaver and a fricking mallet. Just mash the top of the can into the corner of your faux granite counter top and then caveman it the rest of the way. Seriously, how could you possibly look at the op imagine and think, "yeah, I guess I'll just starve now"?
>I've been making like 40 orders of braised veal shanks at work, have everything ready, and then the fricking can opener breaks when I'm trying to open a little can of tomato paste
MacDonald's? Not sure what other restaurant uses canned tomato paste for braised veal...
YES! How did you know? We caramelize the tomato paste after sweating the onions and celery before adding a little flour and deglazing with some white wine and marsala. I can't legally tell you what we do next, but those are the first few steps in making the secret sauce that goes on the big macs.
BIG
MAC
>moron doesnt even know what tomato paste is
the can opener was invented almost 50 years after the can
>heavy object
>tap lid until it pops in
>use dinner knife to pry the rest of that b***h open
For the last three days, this is all I've done:
>slept for the first two days
>went to wal-mart
>downloaded video games and played them for five minutes before stopping
>applied for a job
>read harry potter fanfiction
>had 5 or 6 baths
>boiled some nectarines
>my dad called, he's doing alright
decadent
what Harry Potter fanfictions did you read
well a new chapter of prince of slytherin came out which is always exciting, we're almost to the part where Lily Potter goes on trial for murdering Vernon Dursley(obviously harry is going to pay for her legal defence, even if he's not fond of his mom, he's honourable enough to step in since the vengeance murder was on his behalf).
and you can't go wrong with re-reading DPASW.
wife material
put in microwave on high for 15 seconds
Call the 1-800 number on the label and demand satisfaction. They'll send you some coupons.
throw it away and get real food manbaby
Time to watch this once more
Based cobro, TMDWU.
i had no idea what i was doing when i first moved out from my parent's house, when i realized i had no can opener i just used a knife
the dude has always been ugly, but man looking at his earlier vids is clear to see alcoholism has made him even UGLIER
bang it with rock on lid
lid should cave in
it's over
open
eat from can
none of that microwave shit
defeated by a can...the absolute state
Sorry bud there’s nothing you can do, probably have to throw it away. Unless you live somewhere where there are bears or gators. They may have enough bite force to open that can with their teeth. If so, just toss the can into your backyard and hopefully one will come along and eat the ravioli and then it won’t go to waste. You’re welcome
My daddy opened fish cans using just a knife.
CRUSH IT IN YOUR HANDS THE TIN IS WEAK YOU ARE STRONG
based and tinker-pilled
Looked a little like a blade of chainsaw on the thunbnail. The end.
just here to let you know this moronic thread made front page
Just buy a gun and shoot it. The supreme court made that legal nationwide today. Reddit seething
People say canned pasta is disgusting but tbh I enjoy from time to time. It's definitely not something you should eat every day but as a quick easy lunch? It's perfect.
Your mistake was not buying beefaroni
>zoomers too stupid to open a can
>run to Culinaly
You can do this shit with a spoon. There are youtube guides. So many survivalists have found a frickton of ways.
Put it on a heat source like a stove. It will slowly open itself
an hero, homosexual
Why does CK like to flirt with trans women?
Put it in the oven. The heat will force the lid open
The heat of the oven opens the lid
die I guess
if only there was some kind of opener for cans... A "can opener" if you will.
don't say you don't have one. everyone on the planet has a can opener.
I ain't got fancy devices homie, check yo privelege fr
Starve
idk didn't expect you to make it this far
Put the can on medium heat. The steam will open the can.
Get angry. Oh wait you got that covered already. Have a cry?
Tie a rope around ur neck and hang urself u degenerate homosexual.