it's a heirloom thing.
you make one and pass it around to a new relative every christmas.
it stays in the family for a century and then you perform a masonic ceremony, using the first one as the cornerstone of a building.
you continue this until you have pyramids.
it's not supposed to be dry, you are intended to painstakingly paint it with rum until it is moist and tender all throughout
the whole idea with gifting them is that you're supposed to have been doing that and the gift is all that effort, at least I think anyways
I've been putting together the ultimate fruitcake recipe for going on seven years now. I am nearly there, almost ready to unveil it. I will not forget you anons when I make it into the big leagues. But naturally, if you see me pretend you don't know me. You know how it is.
What kind of liquor do you use? I personally use a 3-1 ratio of spiced rum to orange liqueur.
I was inspired by my grandmother's recipe, but learned that the secret was actually my grandpa dumping booze on it daily as it matured in the fridge.
Birds can't digest gummy bears, so when you feed them all that flour and alcohol it just gets passed through to the log. Little hard on the seagulls but it's tradition.
Not all of us have proper ovens to do cakes, and then there's cleanup and this and that. It's a lot less expensive and takes less time to get one from a local bakery.
Don't care. Original 'tone is good, but chocolate is even better.
And yes, 'ocolate 'tone is a 'tone, just like if you switched the fruit in fruitcake for chocolate. It would just be chocolate in the fruit cake substrate.
Growing up, cartoons always had jokes about how fruitcakes were horrible, so I just assumed they were. Then a few years ago I finally had one and it was pretty damn good. Not my absolute favorite but pretty damn good. I got psyopped.
What is the deal with fruitcakes? It's the sort of thing that by all rights is only considered bad because entertainment media has been calling it bad for decades. Has anyone even tried it?
Me
The guy who made the first post.
I prefer it with just dried and then rehydrated fruit instead of the glace stuff.
it's a heirloom thing.
you make one and pass it around to a new relative every christmas.
it stays in the family for a century and then you perform a masonic ceremony, using the first one as the cornerstone of a building.
you continue this until you have pyramids.
If you make it in a different pan and call it panatone people will pretend it's amazing
>panatone
filipino speakers and mics?
It'll be hard to pretend when you break a fricking tooth on the damn thing
it's not supposed to be dry, you are intended to painstakingly paint it with rum until it is moist and tender all throughout
the whole idea with gifting them is that you're supposed to have been doing that and the gift is all that effort, at least I think anyways
me
German stollen version with marzipan is superior.
>no gummy bears
i cant imagine why
>no gummy bears
They were all Stollen
>Spills powdered sugar down your shirt like a coke addict getting kicked in the balls mid-snort
>stollen
Give it back, Hans.
tried that. kind of shit compared to panettone
Wrong. Stollen is way better than 'tone and it's not close.
if you enjoy a dense, gluey bread
I've been putting together the ultimate fruitcake recipe for going on seven years now. I am nearly there, almost ready to unveil it. I will not forget you anons when I make it into the big leagues. But naturally, if you see me pretend you don't know me. You know how it is.
What kind of liquor do you use? I personally use a 3-1 ratio of spiced rum to orange liqueur.
I was inspired by my grandmother's recipe, but learned that the secret was actually my grandpa dumping booze on it daily as it matured in the fridge.
If it's from japs it's likely radioactive and not very good.
Patricians who like their fruits candied, and their nuts chopped.
Real homemade fruitcake is great.
The storebought stuff is terrible and I'm not sure why it even exists.
why are there gummy bears in that long muffin
Birds can't digest gummy bears, so when you feed them all that flour and alcohol it just gets passed through to the log. Little hard on the seagulls but it's tradition.
It looks like some kind fruit cake that you send to relatives during holidays, the kind of stuff that gets regifted to others.
Mother's Day is coming up... think of your mom and fruit cakes.
My birthday is the same day
It sucks
I understand that, my older bro's birthday is right after Christmas and New Year so he barely gets any presents during the holiday season.
>Who is this for
People who are to lazy to bake their own cake.
Not all of us have proper ovens to do cakes, and then there's cleanup and this and that. It's a lot less expensive and takes less time to get one from a local bakery.
'tone is the best forced meme on this board because it makes people buy and taste something disgusting
If you don't appreciate a nice, warm 'ocolate 'tone straight out the microwave with a cup of milk, then don't speak to me.
is a 'ocolate 'tone really a 'tone?
>he needs his classic Italian confection to be americanized
Oooof
Don't care. Original 'tone is good, but chocolate is even better.
And yes, 'ocolate 'tone is a 'tone, just like if you switched the fruit in fruitcake for chocolate. It would just be chocolate in the fruit cake substrate.
this. Not only I got trolled, I brought one to a family meeting and we all had to pretend it tasted ok.
Growing up, cartoons always had jokes about how fruitcakes were horrible, so I just assumed they were. Then a few years ago I finally had one and it was pretty damn good. Not my absolute favorite but pretty damn good. I got psyopped.
What is the deal with fruitcakes? It's the sort of thing that by all rights is only considered bad because entertainment media has been calling it bad for decades. Has anyone even tried it?
They're just 'tones ya 'bone
me 🙂
'ick on 'one
>yfw
We make our local version cozonac for Christmas and for Easter
So it's for everyone, but twice a year only
is it good? it seems like it would be good its just shitty fructose fruit in bread right?
>you know you're a bot post when you make a fruitcake thread in may
OP is a fruitcake year round
That would've been a very sought after dish in the high-medieval times, same with most christmas stuff we cook
So?
So you're LOW TEST for not wanting to eat like a medieval king
Sure. Only during evening tea though and with cream
dogs