Why do Costco muffins remain uncontested?

Any of you anons managed to crack the code on these muffins? I’ve tried replicating them at home by fluffing up the eggs (I.e beating the whites until floppy peaks and pale, thick yolks) + adding a mixture of sour cream combined with bicarbonate soda in the batter but so far, no results have ever come close to matching their texture. Don’t mind the shilling.

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  1. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    Just say you can't bake, you fricking loser. Jesus Christ

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      And how might I turn that fact around

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      It's not that people can't bake it's that not all of us have the big ovens, the counter space or want to deal with clean up.
      What are you Mr Ritchie Rich?

      • 2 months ago
        Anonymous

        >i can bake i just don't have the space, or the uhhh o-oven?
        Gargantuan cope. You buy grocery store "bakery" slop because you can't bake.

        • 2 months ago
          Anonymous

          Not that anon but I'm a former baker (as in professionally) and I still enjoy buying baked goods out from time to find. But not muffins lmao
          I can go from flour to batter to muffins in, like, 40 minutes. I'd spend about the same amount of time driving to the store, parking, getting a trolley, getting the muffins, going through the till, getting back in the car and driving home.
          Muffins are so piss easy that they're basically the baking equivalent of a mother sauce IE if you can make muffins, you can make a hundred other fricking things using the exact same techniques

  2. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    Are you making your Propylene Glycol Esters from scratch? Look, if you're not prepared to build a meth lab in your bathroom, then you're probably not prepared to bake goymuffins.

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      basically this minus the bathroom meth lab. The goymuffins are chucked full of stabilizer, sugars, preservatives and sneed oils. Unless you add those, your product won't be the same.

      • 2 months ago
        Anonymous

        >chucked full
        >less than 2% is "chucked full"
        And isn't it chock full, no past tense?

        • 2 months ago
          Anonymous

          Actually, that's the antiquated spelling; now it is spelled "sneeded full"

  3. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    lots of sugar

  4. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    its the soybean oil

  5. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    Idk but lemon poppy kicked the shit out of stupid almond poppy that they have now. Buncha shit that its gone.

  6. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    Haven't been to Costco in forever. I'm sure I don't even have a membership now. How much are the muffies goin' for these days?

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      a dozen for 9.99

  7. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    No wonder that they're so cheap, they expired in 2022.

  8. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    So, I actually worked in the Costco bakery.

    Most of the shit though put out, including the loafs of bread, cookies, croissants, and pies come in frozen pucks that we bake in the oven.

    Depending on the season, we may make from scratch certain pies, such as pumpkin pie in the fall.

    But the muffins are always freshly made. All of them. That's why they are so good. We make a huge fricking batch and shove them in a giant oven that gets extremely hot, like if you touch to handle to open the door you will burn the skin off your hand. I think that heat has something to do with it.

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      Do they cook in like 5 minutes?

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      How long ago did you work there? You are way off.
      The secret is that the muffin is made of cake mix. Big 50lb bag of cream cake, 17.5 lbs of whole eggs, 15 or so lbs of water, 20 lbs of oil, and whatever makes the particular muffin.

      Do they cook in like 5 minutes?

      Usually around 30 minutes, but that is for a rack of 100+ muffins

  9. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    It's an astronomical amount of sugar. You're aiming for mini-cake not a muffin.

  10. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    I just got my first ever Costco membership and I'm going this weekend so I can BBQ. What should I get lads?

  11. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    These were too big to eat one all at once.
    Just buy the premade mixes.

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      Total agreement on the 'too big' bit. The non-chocolate ones I feel full from half with a bit of butter. Half of the chocolate ones is suffering, feel sick till the afternoon.

  12. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    I've been tinkering a recipe I got from a euro anon here ages ago when I asked the same question, OP. You can leave out the almond/orange and replace the poppyseed with blueberries if you want the blueberries specifically. The whole fat yoghurt is important, sunflower oil isn't strictly necessary but it should be a clean tasting, neutral oil.

    Modified Costco Muffin recipe (Almond Poppyseed):
    Mix 3 eggs with 300g sugar until foamy
    Add 130 gram (sunflower) oil OR 150 grams melted butter to 250 grams whole fat plain yoghurt, mixing into the sugar and egg mix.
    Add 1.5 TB Almond, 1.5 TB vanilla, approximately 1 TSP orange essence.
    Separately, mix 300grams plain flour with 15 grams of baking powder and 1/2tsp salt, and 3 TBS (30 grams) poppy seeds, and add that to mix, stirring in a portion at a time.
    Bake for around 40 minutes at 350 degrees.

    Modified Costco Muffin recipe (Chocolate):
    Mix 3 eggs with 300g sugar until foamy
    Add 130 gram (sunflower) oil OR 150 grams melted butter to 250 grams whole fat plain yoghurt, mixing into the sugar and egg mix.

    Separately, mix 200grams plain flour, 7.5 grams baking powder, 7.5 grams baking soda 1tsp salt, 100 grams cocoa powder, 1 TB cinnamon. Incorporate to liquid in steps. Add 200grams warm water - mix should be liquidy and runny. Mix in 2 cups (approximately 300 grams) chocolate chips.

    The recipes makes a bundt-cake's worth, which is how I usually prepare it.

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      Here's some of my earlier attempts (before I got better at removing from the mold).

      • 2 months ago
        Anonymous

        I've been tinkering a recipe I got from a euro anon here ages ago when I asked the same question, OP. You can leave out the almond/orange and replace the poppyseed with blueberries if you want the blueberries specifically. The whole fat yoghurt is important, sunflower oil isn't strictly necessary but it should be a clean tasting, neutral oil.

        Modified Costco Muffin recipe (Almond Poppyseed):
        Mix 3 eggs with 300g sugar until foamy
        Add 130 gram (sunflower) oil OR 150 grams melted butter to 250 grams whole fat plain yoghurt, mixing into the sugar and egg mix.
        Add 1.5 TB Almond, 1.5 TB vanilla, approximately 1 TSP orange essence.
        Separately, mix 300grams plain flour with 15 grams of baking powder and 1/2tsp salt, and 3 TBS (30 grams) poppy seeds, and add that to mix, stirring in a portion at a time.
        Bake for around 40 minutes at 350 degrees.

        Modified Costco Muffin recipe (Chocolate):
        Mix 3 eggs with 300g sugar until foamy
        Add 130 gram (sunflower) oil OR 150 grams melted butter to 250 grams whole fat plain yoghurt, mixing into the sugar and egg mix.

        Separately, mix 200grams plain flour, 7.5 grams baking powder, 7.5 grams baking soda 1tsp salt, 100 grams cocoa powder, 1 TB cinnamon. Incorporate to liquid in steps. Add 200grams warm water - mix should be liquidy and runny. Mix in 2 cups (approximately 300 grams) chocolate chips.

        The recipes makes a bundt-cake's worth, which is how I usually prepare it.

        And a more recent one.

  13. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    My local coffee shop makes very dense muffins that somehow taste like muffins and cake batter at the same time. I dont like crumbly muffins that I can accidently inhale the crumbs.

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